Saturday, May 6, 2017

10 years with my boo

If you'd asked me when I was still desperately looking for a relationship back in the early 2000s if I could ever find a loving long-term partner, I'd have given you an emphatic "no". So fast forward to today, it's no wonder I feel a little proud of myself today.

Yes. Today Ision and I celebrate our 10th anniversary (we got together on 05/06/07 [US date format] which is really easy to remember).

Followers of my blog over the years would know that we met online through the Asia-based Fridae dating site in 2007 and were in a long-distance relationship for a year before I relocated to Sydney in June 2008. Like all cohabiting partners, there would be friction and time is always needed for both parties to find where the boundaries are. Fights are inevitable in the process and that was no different for both of us.


2007


2008
  

2009


On the eve of our 3rd anniversary, we both made the decision to move into an open relationship which is something I advocate for every couple, gay or otherwise. Many would find that too risky especially only after 3 years but we felt that there was enough trust between us by then to make that change. Like they say, high risk = high return right? The arrangement worked well and to date I cannot recall ever running into any real issues. By the time we decided to move to Melbourne in January 2012, we were already in that warm fuzzy phase where we've both fully embraced each other's faults. 2012 was also our half-decade mark and here's what I wrote on our 5th and 6th anniversaries.


2010


2011


2012


The next elevation in the relationship came in December 2013 when we entered into a civil union under British law (Ision is also a British citizen). The civil union was later converted into a full-fledged marriage exactly 2 years ago today in May 2015. For those who have never said their vows out loud in front of friends, family and loved ones, you've not experienced an act which in my opinion truly activates a switch in a relationship and cements the union. That was what we felt after the civil union ceremony and also our wedding reception held in Singapore in June 2015 a month after the marriage became final.


2013


2014


2015


Since then we grew much closer together with me increasingly yearning to be physically next to Ision (this need can be largely attributed to my nearly 2-year fly-in-fly-out work stint to Papua New Guinea when I had to leave him 4 weeks a time every 4 weeks). Despite the clinginess we give each other lots of independent space to pursue our other interests (e.g. his BDSM side which also rubbed off a little on me). I can confidently say that we've successfully found the right balance that works for both of us. In July 2016 Ision bought an apartment and we finally moved into our permanent home.


2016


2017
 

So in a nutshell that's our journey together over the decade.

Although I said earlier that I'm proud of myself for this feat that many in the gay (and even straight) world seem to not be able to achieve, I'm fully aware that I can only claim 30% of the credit and 70% goes to luck. To find that someone you'd first have to be in the right place at the right time and then he has to have character traits and long-term goals that match yours. How can you have so many things aligned without the help of luck? One can know all the correct things to do in a relationship but without chancing upon that correct person all is still in vain (I'm sure there are many marriage counsellors who are sorely single right now).

As an extremely frugal hermit I seldom fine-dine but this special occasion calls for it. Alas tonight clashes with "Trough X: Noir", a leather-themed gay party Ision already got tickets for so I had to postpone the dinner for a week. In many relationships this would be a no-no (prioritising a gay party over the anniversary) but this is yet another example why both of us are totally right for each other because we're both fine with that (although it'd have been an awesome night should the dinner not be delayed). Come to think of it if you quarrel over this to a point where the relationship is threatened, perhaps the love and mutual respect weren't there to begin with. At the end of the day I think it's all about seeing things from a long-term perspective every time you find yourself at life's many crossroads - which decision stands the relationship in good stead in the long term?

Now that we've traversed our first 10 years, what's in store for us ahead will be more of the same. At this point we don't see the need to change things and so more of the same is perfect. If you guys manage to stick around for another 10 years I'll give you all another update then. Till then...

Happy 10th anniversary boo!

Saturday, April 15, 2017

Musical journey (81)

It's the Easter long weekend which means that it's full-steam-ahead hermit mode for me as the rest of the world does things outside e.g. going to Bangkok for Songkran. In preparation for the 4-day stay-in I bought "The Last of Us (Remastered)", a PlayStation-exclusive game that I've always wanted to play. This cinematic offering has won a ton of awards and so far it's been great (music, plot and graphics). Hermit mode is also warranted this Easter as a sore throat and cough is kicking in all thanks to the source of the virus, my boo!

On the work front I've made the decision to transit into a full-time role at the Refinery based on the most important pull factor a.k.a. job security. In addition to ridiculous project schedules (i.e. stress which is further exacerbated by three process engineers leaving the company by the end of the month) I'd have to deal with a new incompetent lead who not only sucks technically, she (yet another lousy female boss!!!) also has zero people skills and doesn't take responsibility despite being required to do so as the discipline focal point. The only consolation I guess out of this is the initiative that has been started by a few to either drive her away via passive-aggressive hostility or to demote her by forcing the managers to make her complete a competency assessment. "Interesting" times ahead indeed.

That's the latest update from me and now it's on to the composition that I'll be sharing with you today. This is a song written when I was in the army and was entered in a university song-writing competition (I didn't win anything). It's a fictional love story in which A remains with a cheating B despite having full knowledge of the indiscretion. Yes it's a boring tale but it's a very real one, especially in the sea of loveless marriages out there in the straight world where couples stay together just for the kids. I pity these people yet I can't empathise with them because it's a predicament that I'll never be in (because I'm smart enough).

I used Garage Band for the backing track and the clip was a winter scene taken off YouTube. Although putting all this together seems simple it does take some time because you have to factor in recording, editing, subtitling and encoding. However an MTV like this is in my opinion the neatest way to document a song and this is the 61st I've posted to date. You can expect many more to come but for now enjoy this latest stop in my musical journey.



[我爱上了一个人]

词 / 曲 : 锦泉
 

我爱上了一个人
穿梭着餐风露宿的旅程
不在乎折腾到最后满面风尘
对或错    我不过问


他爱上了两个人
背负着千斤重的责任
他的心演着一场无休止的纷争
这是痛的根本


我和你越爱就越伤得深
我和你反复抹去彼此的泪痕
别管是与非    可不可能
一个世界也不能分隔我们
为了你一吻  
几度秋与春
都愿意去等

我爱上了你一人
在梦里    你还是一样逼真
你身影    从没有纠缠过一丝悔恨
而它却映在
敞开着的那扇心门


我和你越爱就越伤得深
我和你不停抓痛彼此的伤痕
只要这缘份眷顾我们
再多风险也只会化作微尘
就算冰雪覆盖我们
都不觉得冷


我爱上了
这一生   只爱你一人




[Fallen for Someone]

I've fallen for someone
And it's been a journey full of hardships
But I don't mind getting weary and fatigued
And I don't question what's right and wrong

He's fallen for two
And with that comes great responsibility
A never-ending tussle plays out in his heart
That's the origin of all his pain

The more we love the deeper we get hurt
As we repeatedly wipe the tears off each other's faces
We refuse to see what's impossible
And refuse to let the world separate us
For that one kiss I'm willing to wait countless autumns and springs

I've fallen for someone
Who remains as real in my dreams as in person
Although he's never expressed any regrets
It remains in his heart that he keeps open for me

The more we love the deeper we get hurt
As we keep scratching at our open wounds
As long as fate takes care of us
All risks will turn into dust
And we won't feel cold even when blanketed by snow

I've fallen for someone
And in this life I'll only love him



Saturday, March 25, 2017

Musical journey (80)

I promised previously that I'm going to inject new life into my musical posts and so deliver I shall. As you might know my Nude Singer Facebook page officially ended many years ago as described here, along with the MOST daring picture ever shared on this blog. Since then I've been itching to do something along those lines again. So what better way to reignite that flame than to record myself singing topless in a KTV in super short shorts that leave nothing to the imagination?

Getting the phone camera in the right position plus the frigid cold of the KTV room both made the job a whole lot tougher. You'll also notice that my abs are practically non-existent in the clip and that's because of my overeating during the Chinese New Year period. Yes, the clip was taken in Singapore last month where I did lots documented in these posts (1 2 3).

I've since gotten my precious six-pack back but alas you can't photoshop videos to make yourself look better, well not easily anyway. At least there's my singing to compensate for the poor abs right? I really hope it doesn't make it worse as I've created many more clips that day that I'll be sharing in the coming months!

The first of this series features one of my favourite songs from the talented Jewel. I was really into her back in my army days and she's also one of the songwriters who gave me the inspiration to write. Without further ado here's my cover of "Break Me" (the original version is here). Be kind OK?



Saturday, March 18, 2017

My CNY through Facebook (part 3)

Boo has left for a 6-day trip back home yesterday and though a little depressing it's the best time to start a new Playstation 4 Pro game "Horizon: Zero Dawn" which has really amazing graphics. Work has been crazy recently and that's the reason why I'm not joining him this time round to Ashby. I bet he'd have lots of yummy food but I also know that nothing comes free as a lot of heavy-duty household chores await. Whatever he's doing I'm missing him around the house and our frequent playful banter. The weather here is also getting cooler as autumn sets in so the emptier bed doesn't make things better. The weather there however is rainy and there's a chance that area might flood so perhaps I'm not missing much.

On the work front I've initiated the much-needed conversation between the bosses of the two company divisions and I should get an update soon as to whether I'm allowed to move from one to another. If I'm barred from transferring I'll choose the refinery gig as job security is still paramount. Without a formal transfer the boss of the new division has less responsibility to find me work and I might be stuck in a no-man's zone as I would have sort of burnt the bridge with my current division. I hope this uncertainty will pass soon. 

In the meantime here's the last part of my Singaporean Chinese New Year series (the other parts are here and here). You can also look forward to a whole new exciting version of my musical journey next week!


More friends and dishes crossed off the "to do" list. That's always a good thing in my book.


After a relaxing coffee break with a D24 durian egg tart (where are these in Melbourne???), it's time to go shopping for my husband. If you know what I'm searching for him you'd also think how lucky Ision is to have a hubby like me!


Why is this shop broadcasting its CCTV stream on the big screen to the public???


Post-movie snacks with mummy as rat racers go back to their tracks. Such is life.


This Sentosa Resorts World receipt has been making its rounds on social media. $130K on alcohol and $55K on a special dish with a total bill of almost $240K and a GST amount enough to feed a poor family for a year. Still need proof that Singapore is one of the top money-laundering capitals of the world?


Uniqlo and H&M used to be special. Now they are seen side by side so frequently as if they are long-time rivals McDonald's and KFC. If only clothes becomes cheaper when the clothing lines become more commonplace.


Apparently some people don't know the meaning of the word "spaz"...


Another interesting shop name spotted. This time it's an almost-registered trademark infringement.


Hmm... Should I or should I not...


Mum's cooking tonight... Totally worth skipping lunch for! Thanks Mummy!


This is supper - my reward for giving mummy a 30-minute massage. Craving for glutinous rice balls sated. #还没元宵就急着要吃汤圆


Can you spot the thing that triggered a split second of excitement in me? 😉


The lychee soft serve is not too bad but that's not the point of this. Act cute selfie time!


There are plenty of ways to invest your money in Singapore and sometimes the opportunities appear side by side. With such paltry savings interest rates here, which one do you think is a better bet?


The gathering that took quite a bit of effort to arrange. Though not all were present, it was still a good catch-up nonetheless.


More snapshots of my gastronomical adventures on the little red dot. I wonder what I shall eat next...


Glad I could visit the venue of my wedding and previous shoot before I leave. Yummy as usual!


Don't know when was the last time I had cake in a cafe but these are nice - red velvet and gula melaka pandan.


With supper last night and such a scrumptious breakfast prepared especially for me by mummy, how can I not get fat?


Belated ang paos from Mummy. Better late than never! And there's one for you too Ision so no more whingeing from you ww!


The last to-eat item has officially been crossed off my list. I can now leave in peace tomorrow.


Taking a moment to appreciate the fruits of mum's laborious green thumbs dotted around the flat before starting to pack for my flight.


Last chance to savour mummy's cooking. The plan is for her to visit me in Melbourne this Christmas. I guess that's when I'll next get to taste mother's love.



Early check-in = fuss-free relaxation over coffee. I hope no one sits beside me for my upcoming overnight flight so I can have a more restful sleep.



*hyperventilating* Calm down calm down. It's only 6 kids sitting all around you on overnight budget economy with all seats in your row being taken. Thanks Singapore for such an indescribably irritating parting gift even though I really don't want to blame you as I've had a great 18 days. See you again soon! Kim out.

Saturday, March 11, 2017

My CNY through Facebook (part 2)

Looks like another opportunity at work just opened up and now three different sections of the company want me! It's been so long since I felt something positive from being an engineer and I hope it stays that way. With choices unfortunately comes the hard part of making decisions. The three key factors that I need to consider are job security, the experience I want to get so as to branch into work that can be applied across more industries (i.e. still related to job security) and the commute to work (as I don't drive). I've written one choice down already as that place not only requires a long commute, there are no systems in place for us to do work properly ranging from basic things like office space to issues more technical like a lack of equipment specifications. 

As for the other two choices it's job security (the refinery where I was working at for a month in October last year now wants me to work there full time because they were pleased with my performance) versus the experience I want to get (I want to branch into more "safety and risk" type jobs and I've a 6-month opportunity coming up to do just that but that means I can't start full time at the refinery). Also the 6-month gig is based in the city in the division that treats employees better as compared to a total daily commute time of 2 hours for the refinery posting. Job security is a really important factor though so I can't reject the refinery role as yet. To make matters more interesting, this other division that will likely survive the one I'm in is currently hiring and the boss has told me personally that I'm at the top of the shortlist based on the accolades I've received from people on the current project I'm doing for them. Decisions decisions decisions... 

While I'm pondering my future on the work front, here's something lighter and less burdensome a.k.a. the second part of my Facebook pictorial posts documenting my trip back to Singapore for Chinese New Year last month (the other parts are here and here). Enjoy the snaps, especially the last one!!!


'Off gaigai-ing with Mummy. Such is the life of us taitais. 😄


Another mall untouched by time. This place brings back childhood memories.


Mummy was craving for bak kut teh so that's what we're having 'cos she's the boss!


Ision what do you think of this monstrosity? By the way I have tasted it and the durian is barely noticeable. It's more gimmick than anything else.

 
I know fresh oysters can be overpriced when served at restaurants but this is something else! From a tourist trap of a hawker centre no less!!!


Me and Roy having dinner at Chinatown Point tonight. We couldn't find the laksa I was craving for so we had to settle for chicken rendang nasi lemak. 😄


Yusheng for one? Who tosses yusheng alone???


Mandatory catch-up with one of my oldest friends and father-to-be (huge congrats)! Looks like 'tis the season to procreate!


Another achievement unlocked - the famed baked cheese tart (plus toasted mackerel otah buns). The tart is nice but still slightly overrated. Now it's on to the next quest in my island-wide search for yummies.


Trophies from my ongoing culinary conquests. Many more to come!


A constant source of frustration whenever I'm in Singapore - confusing block numbers hindering my search for the right one amongst the labyrinth of densely-packed public housing apartments.


Nicely caught up over kopi. Thanks for the company guys (and bear)!


Was looking for the durian version of goreng pisang but couldn't find any. I guess the durian version of curry puff will do for now. The search continues.


This franchise is all over the country right now but why do I always see "poofter" instead of the correct name? I guess it takes one to see one. 😄


The advantage of having dim sum with a group of people is you can order lots and lots to share. The advantage of having dim sum with a group of close friends is you can talk about anything under the sun, no holds barred, and you also get to eat lots and lots. Thanks for a great time, group of close friends!


Seen proudly advertised on a coffee shop's shopfront. The lingering shadow of white supremacy in post-colonial independent Singapore perhaps?


Family dinner and more food - I SO need to go for a jog tomorrow morning. No food pics this time as my collage app refuses to function. Grrrr.


When I'm in Australia I eat to live but here it's the other way round. How can I not when such heavenly fare exists so readily at such low prices? Case in point - fried prawn crackers and popiah.


I can tell that I'm now not as lean as how my previous Singapore trip made me. That must surely be because I'm eating much more this trip. Rojak has been crossed off the list tonight so at least there's one more frenemy down.


An assortment of calorie-laden goodies to fuel my gym session! #NeverUnderestimateTheseDeliciousLittleMorsels


One of the most beautiful sights on earth. An empty gym floor.


I'll never get bored of taking selfies as Iong as I'm still not bored of these sick abs. #WorkingHardForMyWashboard