Some of you might not know this but I write both Chinese and English songs. However many of them are not that musically-presentable partly because I am too lazy to tidy them up and hence I do not exhibit them much. In this post I shall share with you one of the more complete ones that I have written.
As you know, I went through a phase of not knowing what I want in life like everyone else and quickly fell in love with a tall English businessman when I was back in Singapore though at that time I was 110% sure that I knew exactly what I wanted. Being intent on finding a relationship, I allowed my focus to blind me instead of letting love do the job. I misinterpreted his signals and fumbled with my own as I spiralled in a degenerative cycle of falling too deep too soon too often. Notwithstanding the ignorance I was harbouring, all those intense emotions were good fodder for writing songs–this song was written within a very short time as everything flowed so smoothly then as if it were a match made in heaven. I put together the video for the song using clips from the movie "Soundless Wind Chime". Although that is a very depressing movie, I chose to see it from another angle and used that for this song (one with a happy ending or at least the ending that I wanted back then).
[In Your Arms]
Looking for a grain in the desert of love
Will the sun ever meet the moon high up above?
Wishing by the well, a silent prayer in the wind
We hope to find a heart to live within
I know it's not easy, this silly thing called love
But we still found each other against the odds so tough
And now I'm contented but can never love you enough
I see you in the distance, to you I run
There you stand, tall as you are
Arms wide open, you shine like a star
In your arms, I am safe from harm
They never tire, they're never far
There our souls blend into one
Time stands still when I am in your arms
I get weak though you give me strength to overcome
Anything as long as I'm in your arms
Of course that brief on-off-and-then-back-on-and-off encounter landed me in utter frustration and worse still made me even more bent on finding a partner till I burnt myself out. That is the scary result of not loving yourself and thank goodness I have stripped that destructive behaviour off of myself for some years now–all my subsequent English compositions were all love songs for Ision!