Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Musical journey (7)

When love ends, how much grieving time should we allocate to the deceased relationship? If we moved on too quickly, does it mean that the feelings weren’t deep enough in the first place? Why should we go through the same process over and over again? Do we really need pain to remind us that we are still alive, that the love we had was true?

Different people fall in love to different extents and this is dependent on many factors. But more often than not it all boils down to one’s faith in love and one’s level of maturity. In my opinion believing in love blindly is useless and being too analytically sceptical about it is not useful either. Often faith and maturity work against each other and so attaining the correct balance is the key to finding a successful relationship. Needless to say, all parties to that relationship need to achieve that balance.

The great thing about faith and maturity is that the combination not only helps in falling in love, it aids in speeding up the healing from a broken heart too. With a strong combination of the two, one can learn from the failed relationship, fine-tune one's needs, adjust one's behaviour accordingly and set new goals. To someone who has achieved that balance, all the questions in the first paragraph of this post become irrelevant.

This month’s musical journey is about a person not having that balance. He tortures himself every night and revisits the same point in time when it all started. Time to him essentially stops as he remains stuck in a perpetual loop of self-destruction. In the end, he reaches the end of the tunnel but he does not see light. Instead, he loses all sensation and his faith in love. This is a story of what we should all not do.



[零时零三分]

/词 / : 锦泉/

若心囚禁了思念
时间就会凝聚成句点
那么沉重
像带着那用铅球装饰的项链

昨夜飞不出清晨
让千层灰覆盖了灵魂
那么沉重, 无法呼吸
在黑暗中无奈沉沦

又到了零时零三分
又到了寂寞和无助的那份岔路, 无尽延伸
又看见孤单和彷徨重叠循环
我觉得冷

又到了零时零三分
又到了电话旁边瑟缩地枯坐哭醉苦等
又听见心跳和心碎的交响曲
我熄了灯

没有爱, 何谓恨, 没有你
我会狠心让自己溺于枕边泪滩不再辗转翻滚
不再想你

熬到了零时零四分
也到了遗忘交替麻木的那地点, 宁静难忍
只看见镜子里面站着一个
我不认识的人




[Three Past Midnight]

If the heart imprisons memories
Time will grind to a full stop
It becomes so heavy
Like wearing a ball and chain around the neck

The previous night fails to fly to dawn
Enveloping the soul with a thousand layers of dust
It becomes so heavy
And makes it hard to breathe
As I sink deeper into the darkness

It is three past midnight again
There I am at the never-ending crossroads of loneliness and helplessness
As I see them overlap and encircle each other
I feel the cold

It is three past midnight again
There I am at the phone, on the floor, inebriated and waiting
As I listen to the symphony of my heartbeat and heartbreak
I turn off the lights

What is hatred without love?
Without you, I will heartlessly drown myself in the tears beside my pillow
So as not to toss and turn
And think of you again

It is finally four past midnight
When forgetting-it-all takes over numbness in this deafening silence
When all I can see in the mirror is someone I barely recognise




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