Saturday, October 8, 2011

Musical journey (18)

When someone mentions the word “relationship”, a romantic one is usually the first thing that pops into mind. However we are involved in many more non-romantic relationships throughout our lives. So if we exclude procreation from the equation, why do romantic relationships (spouses, long-term partners, flings, affairs, and what have you) take precedence in today’s society? The Valentine's Day industry (Hallmark, Tiffany's, etc), senseless-yet-taken-seriously Hollywood rom-coms as well as the growing isolation in the world (with the advent of Internet) are just a few examples. We have romanticised this interpretation of relationship to such an extent that we sometimes forget that friends, parents, siblings and even pets also form a substantial part of “relationships”. I for one was guilty of that many years ago when I set “finding a partner” as the only goal in my life.

It was then when I wrote a song about the “end” of my relationships with several friends at the precise time when they started pairing up with partners. This phenomenon is an inevitable fact of life and yet another manifestation of the problem of over-emphasising the importance of romantic relationships. The irony is that in the song, friendship was portrayed just like romantic relationships with concepts like betrayal, commitment, heartache and loneliness common to losing a lover. If we expect the same level of fidelity, honesty and respect as we would expect from a lover, will we make the over-romanticising problem even worse? If not, how should we justify treating friends and lovers as equally-important in our lives? Let’s listen to this song as we ponder…


[If]

/ 词 / 曲 : 锦泉
/

If 时间发了疯
If 恶梦过了钟
If 朋友个个消失无影踪
双双对对做快乐的梦

If 笑声不再有
If 泪不能一起流
If 朋友个个已不如昨
越想留 他们越要走

If you 选择要分手
请你说出口
我会让你走
冥冥已经注定
我会一个人走
为何还不能接受

If you 开始言不由衷
开始找借口
我会让你走
我要你快乐
就算会寂寞
虽然我们已各分西东
但愿你会永远记得我


[If]

If time got crazy on overdrive
If the nightmare went past its end-time
If friends vanished one by one without a trace
Off in pairs to make happy dreams

If there were no more laughter
If tears could not be shed together
If friends were no longer themselves
The more you wish for them to stay
The more they want to leave

If you choose to break up
Please just say so
I will let you go
Since it has been written in my destiny to walk alone
Why can I still not accept it

If you start to not mean what you say
And begin to find excuses
I will let you go
For I only want you to be happy
Even if it will land me in loneliness
Though we have gone our separate ways
I hope you will remember me forever




Pondering time over. My conclusion (with mathematical simplicity and precision)—friendship is a subset of romantic relationships, period. Since one can do everything one does with a friend with a lover but not vice versa, if push comes to shove, there can only be one logical choice.

PS: I really love how the video highlights the strength-out-of-despair message of the song.

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