Saturday, August 22, 2015


A few months ago, I decided to explore the world of BDSM, which is an overlapping abbreviation for Bondage and Discipline (BD), Dominance and Submission (DS), Sadism and Masochism (SM). Before you think "Fifty Shades of Grey" has anything to do it, I have bleach ready to clean out your brain. Well it's not that filth that got me into trying but my boo. He has been into BDSM for a long time now and recently he found a new group of friends he could hang out with both doing social things as well as BDSM-play. I am very open when it comes to sex and since there is nothing more I would like than to have a fun thing Ision and I can do together that he is interested in, I went ahead with it. Here is a series of pictures that document my stepping out into the BDSM world.

My first-ever picture in leather when I tried out my friend's gear. Although this was shot in the toilet, I realised I actually looked good in a harness and this further strengthened my resolve to give BDSM a try. In the picture I was wearing a jockstrap with a net frontal pouch and thus that area had to be censored. Moreover I was a little too "excited" in that shot so adding a blurry circle is the only way to go. Hehe.

Before anything could happen, I must look the part and have my own gear. I wanted something unconventional and hence I chose an asymmetrical harness. This purchase also included a leather studded wristband and a leather jockstrap which is something I have never owned. It felt really comfortable, like wearing nothing at all, which was exactly the feeling I was going after. Along with my boots from my army days (not pictured), I was all set to go. This picture was taken in a leather shop called Mannhaus.

So with the perfect set of gear, it was my time to shine at this event called "Splinter". In the picture I was standing in front of a frame onto which many people were tied to it that night and flogged. Being a first-timer at a BDSM event, it was really an eye-opening experience to say the least. Alas it was a mixed gender play session and there was a strict policy of play only but no sex. I would very much prefer it to be an all-male venue with the freedom of sex. Does this come as any surprise?

The "B" in BDSM is bondage and I was in very good hands that night being tied up by Riverkeeper (a master). It was very intricate work that took about thirty minutes not only because it had to look good, it had to be safe as well as I was totally suspended in the air and was swung around for a few minutes. I couldn't say I liked the feeling especially when everything that happened that night was a first time for me and hence there was no point of reference I could compare it to.

Throughout the tying and suspension process I was blindfolded. This was to enhance the intensity of the experience by cutting out sight thereby heightening the other senses. The play space was huge enough for this as well as two other suspensions to take place at the same time in addition to the several flogging and whipping "stations". There were also other themed rooms like pet-play, medical-play and after-play rooms for resting and relaxation. It is all about getting into the BDSM head-space and once you are in the zone, anything and everything goes. This shit is serious I tell you.

I also attended the weekly leather event called "Spit and Polish" at The Laird Hotel, which is a really popular place for those into leather. There I met Riverkeeper again and he wanted to do another number on me (without the suspension as there wasn't enough space there). The rope-work this time was more cosmetic than functional and I was really impressed by the end result. This is the front view.

This is another cool angle of me taken in the toilet where there's the best lighting in that pub (it was quite dark elsewhere). There was also a cordoned-off sex corner where people went inside to get their rocks off. As a lover of public sex, I really wanted to stick my head in (figuratively and literally, hehe) but since I was with Ision that night, I had to keep that desire under control. I especially like how the flare from the light aligned with my bulge in the picture.

This is the view I am sure many of you would like best and I really love this shot myself as well. Seeing how good this looks, I think I should do more shoots featuring my derrière. This view also shows you how the rope-work looked from behind. This piece of artwork took about thirty minutes to complete and with this fabulous shot, it was well worth my time that night.

Ever since I got my new gear, I have wanted to do a proper photo shoot in it. I realised this goal during my recent Singapore trip in June and I have created a collage of the previews sent by the photographer. They look fabulous, don't they? I have just received the first batch of edited pictures and I am currently busy putting the final touches on them so that they can be 200% fabulous! Curse that OCD-streak in me!

So there you have it, my foray into BDSM. Actually just before the night ended at "Splinter", I wanted to experience being flogged and asked Ision to do the deed using the leather flogger that he bought. I asked him to be gentle as I am not really into pain and he was. Again there was no point of reference to compare the experience to so all I can say is it felt good knowing that I did it in front of every one. It was just too bad the event photographer wasn't there to capture it so perhaps I do need to attend this monthly session again to get that snap.

The truth is I am totally ambivalent about BDSM at the moment even after all this. One thing I am certain though is I am so glad I gave it a try, otherwise I wouldn't have known how neutral I would feel about it. I will definitely post more pictures in the future should there be more new ones so you just have to keep your eyes peeled from now!

Friday, August 14, 2015

Musical journey (61)

Today is my father's 28th death anniversary and he would have been 75 this year had he not died from colorectal cancer when I was eight years old. I did not really get to know him before he passed and as the years go by, my memories of him fade into an ever so faint tinge of a moustached and bespectacled taxi driver with a head full of oiled jet black hair perfectly combed back. However that is all I can remember and I cannot even recall how his voice sounded like. When a loved one leaves this world for the next, the best he or she can do is to leave behind fond memories that last forever in the hearts of those he or she touched. I have been deprived of these memories simply because I was too young then and he mostly worked night shifts and was asleep during my waking hours. I understand though that this is of no one's fault. How I wish I could remember him more...

In this month's musical journey, I had the pleasure of collaborating with a Sydney friend who wrote the lyrics. He penned the piece thinking about his parents and their eventual departure while keeping the words more direct rather than subtle. When he approached me to compose the tune, he felt that the song should not only be suitable to be played at any funeral, it should also be equally applicable to common breakups and departures. He was very stringent during the composition process and we had several iterations of the tune before this final version was created. He wanted the song to be good enough to be played over the radio.

I am glad I embarked on this musical project and am quite happy with the finished product including the clip I chose. This song gave me a firmer grasp of the importance of remembering the departed and how their legacy should forever resonate within us. Just like when one releases a lantern into the sky, that conscious act of letting go puts you in control of your grief and emotions as you tell yourself although you have let the physical body go, the memories will always stay with you. Hopefully with this song I can find a new way to reconnect with those memories regardless of how distant they are.


词: 陈春井  /   曲: 锦泉

挥挥手   想不让你走

回回頭   想拖延时间

来时的路   怕回不了从前

痛   早已超重   怕承担不起
爱   一点一滴   只怕来不及

挥挥手   想不让你走

牵我的手   如何牵过白头? 

握你的手   怎么缱绻挽留? 

痛   早已超重   怕不能自己
爱   一点一滴   明天的延续
痛   太多过去   放下会可惜
爱   渗透回忆   没有限期

回回頭   想拖延时间

但来时的路   怕回不了从前
没你的日子   时间突然搁浅

没我的相伴   问你是否怀念? 

爱   早已超重   有太多过去
痛   一点一滴   渗透了回忆