The Next Phase

Mummy's in the country

2012-01-16T10:23:00.012+11:00

Now that I have fully settled into this new city called Melbourne (which really deserves an entire post), I now have time to give my attention to this blog again.

I have written about my stays in the country and when mummy’s in the house but what happens when these two events are combined? In this post, I shall share with you the highlight of my mum’s recent Sydney visit—a trip up-state to Ision’s parents country home. They ABSOLUTELY loved her and kept reminding my mum that their doors are always open for her. We all had great fun together.

The trip was off to a light-hearted start when we saw the Jetstar flight menu. With such small portions of lousy food at such exorbitant prices, is it any wonder why people are starving off their hunger?

I was put to work very soon after our arrival—my first-ever attempt at digging up potatoes. The area we had to cover wasn’t huge but I was rather surprised at how many potatoes we dug up! From the ground to the dinner table—that is the country way of living.

My bibi was also as busy as a bear… oops, a bee. He did a great job cleaning the interior and exterior of two cars, as commanded by the taskmaster—his dad!

Months before the trip, I have asked my mum to list down the ingredients for the dishes she would like to prepare for the in-laws and thus she was well-prepared. The two cooks worked together very well despite the frequent communication-breakdown—I guess good food never fails to be the universal language.

A sample of the feasts prepared by mum. I must say the in-laws were pretty pleased (and impressed) at mum’s cooking—it was of no surprise that they kept asking her to come visit again.

As a diabetic, mum was overjoyed when she found a snack she could nibble on that her diet permits—beech cherries. On the last day of our trip, she picked three containers full to take back home and there was still plenty left on the trees. She intends to try growing the fruit in Singapore.

Mum getting acquainted with the Aussie barbeque. The neighbours were invited over one night for the traditional Australian social event. Ision actually broke his no-beef rule that night and ate a hamburger. GASP!

One of the biggest joys of living in the country where there is ample land (and the perfect weather) to cultivate the fruits and vegetables you will ever need is the convenience of stepping out of the kitchen to pluck fresh ingredients and throw them into the pot a minute later.

Of course growing one’s own greens needs much tender loving care. I was given the task of watering the crops one day.

Living in the country means you’d have to live with the country’s other inhabitants as well. Roger had to remove a wasp net from the veranda’s ceiling. Subsequently several wasps flew into the house trying to look for their removed dwelling—fortunately I had my bibi there to chase them all away. My hero!

Not all inhabitants of the country were chased away from the house. Feeding a kookaburra bits of beef is a dangerous game—mum (and her finger) only knew too well.

After dinner one night, a very loud thud was heard and the truth was revealed the next morning—a lorikeet could not see the glass wall and tried to fly through it at full speed. The result? A dead bird, colourful nonetheless. Apparently this is quite commonplace.

Mum brought lots of nice clothes for the trip in preparation for plenty of photo-ops. It was fun being her photographer for a few days.

Roger took us out to the estate around the house for a quick drive. Much to Roger’s amusement, mum started to pick flowers he regards as weed. We also drove to Yamba and spent some time by the beach.

What would a relaxing country holiday be without a facial? With Nu Skin’s Galvanic Spa, the beauty parlour was brought into the house.

How well do you think the DIY spa-treatment worked? The before (left) and after (right) shots say it all.

The unseasonably-cold summer throughout the state was observed in the country as well. Whenever there was sun, I seized the chance to do some tanning. One HUGE advantage of living in the country is the ability to tan in the buff and I did (shots were taken but will not be posted. Hehe).

Wiling the time away on the veranda with afternoon tea, featuring home-made cookies baked by Jenny and gourmet coffee prepared by Roger. This is the life.

I had to play the role of translator for the entire trip for my mum and in-laws but from this picture, I can’t see language as being a barrier at all.

The customary snap of the whole family. It was a really fun trip for all and it was made even nicer knowing how much the in-laws love having my mum there with them. We look forward to coming up again.

This was the last meal mum cooked for me (which I took to work) before she left. Because I will not have the chance to relish her cooking for some time and so I took a parting shot of it. I will miss you mummy.

PS: A few weeks after my mum went back home, she fell and broke her arm and to date she has had two surgeries but is on her way to recovery. It is still too soon to know if she would regain full mobility of the broken arm but I pray that she will. As our parents are getting older, they really need to be given better care, which is unfortunately something I cannot offer when I am an ocean away. My thoughts will be with her during her period of recuperation.

Musical journey (20)

2011-12-31T09:40:00.004+11:00

If you believe in guardian angels, do you think of them as people with raw emotions just like all of us? Do you think of them as a tireless protectors who require no recognition? And if you want to acknowledge them, wouldn't it be great if you could see them flying above and looking down on you?

When a guardian angel falls in love with the mortal under his protection and then gets his heart broken, how would he express his suffering? If his sole task is to ensure the safety of his ward, should he be falling in love in the first place?

In this month's musical journey, I shall try to answer all of these questions and delve a little into the rock genre at the same time. This is sort of a virginal attempt at composing a rock song so be kind to it.

[天使的泪]

/ 词 / 曲：锦泉 /

悬崖边盘旋狂笑混合眼泪
回音敲得心支离破碎
天空化成灰狂风继续地吹
没有爱伤痛已无所谓

守护你的天使流下了第一滴泪
落在尘世却成了汪洋一片
淹没了每一个曾有过的昨天
溅湿你无瑕的脸

天使飞累了有何处能停歇
光环是否就不会熄灭
甩不掉颓废它怎能不坠跌
一身洁白染上了断肠的血

天使流的泪

守护你的天使感觉到心力交瘁
有一双翅膀却飞不进你心扉
我不问如今你心中住着的是谁
若他能夜夜守护着你入睡

[An Angel's Tears]

Circling the precipice
His violent laughter mixed with tears
Creating echos that strike the heart into bits
The sky turns to gray
The malevolent winds continue
Without love, the pain no longer matters

The guardian angel has shed his first tear
Causing a deluge as it falls to the mortal plains
Drowning every shred of memory
And wetting your flawless face

When a guardian angel is tired of flying
Where can he seek respite
Will his halo ever be extinguished
Unable to shrug off despair
How can he avoid falling when he has lost his love
The blood from his broken heart
Stains the white with a sea of red

The guardian angel is getting weak in energy and spirit
Even with wings, he is unable to fly into your heart
The question of who now resides in there shall not be asked
As long as he is able to stand by you every night as you slumber

I know this is kind of a sad post but here's a very Happy New Year to all my blog-readers! I am flying off to Melbourne on the 4th of January and starting my life in the new city. A new start means that I'd have to put all the unhappiness of 2011 behind (including the permanent deletion of The Nude Singer Facebook singer) and look at all things positive (my faithful blog-readers and fans). I will be moving on to bigger modelling projects in the coming year and I know I will shine even brighter so get your sunnies out and be prepared. May all of our wishes come true in 2012 (if the doomsday prediction doesn't come true, that is. Hehe)!

Merry merry Christmas!

2011-12-24T11:20:00.007+11:00

To all my blog-readers, fans, friends and family, here's a very merry Christmas to you. Give your loved ones an extra tight squeeze today and treasure every minute you have with them. This is the season to love and give and I wish you all the happiness and joy that you so deserve.

In the spirit of giving, here's a little something for all of you. Happy holidays!

Just another guy on Gaydar

2011-12-22T22:12:00.010+11:00

This is just a quick post to inform my fans that I have been featured in the Gaydar's December "Meet Him" newsletter. I have been featured on Manhunt before too (in June this year). Hmmm... I wonder what I shall conquer next?

PS: The photographer of my latest shoot is seriously-considering sending some of the pictures to Playgirl magazine. I know there is just less than 5% chance that they will use them but still to be considered for that does say something about my sex appeal, doesn't it?

Triple the hotness

2011-12-10T10:11:00.002+11:00

I love doing group shoots but I don't get to do them enough as it is both difficult to find willing models and models who have similar built and musculature as myself. In this post, I will share the pictures from my first-ever group shoot in Paddington with Rick and Don (one of the pictures from this shoot was featured in the last Mardi Gras' issue of DNA magazine).

It is just like what the adage says—why have one hot guy when you can have three?

If you find this shoot too sedated then you are in luck because I will be in a much more intimate one with another hot model later this month. Will our chemistry lead us to not only elevated visual but physical heights as well? You would have to stay tuned to find out!

The Nude Singer: the end (?)

2011-11-27T23:37:00.013+11:00

To all my fans, my latest posted picture has landed me a 30-day block by Facebook (the longest yet) and The Nude Singer on Facebook is no longer an accessible page as of today. Isn't it ironic what Facebook did in the face of the message the site is trying to put out there? I am unsure at this moment if it would be reactivated at the end of this block but I am not optimistic about it. I have previously written about how I would feel towards this day's eventuality so I will not cover old ground here. Suffice to say, this event has been predicted and I am thus fully-prepared for it.

If this is indeed the end of The Nude Singer, I would like to thank all you fans for your love, support and encouragement. I will never forget all of you. Please keep The Nude Singer's spirit alive in all your hearts. As a sign of protest and indignation over how my ideals got thrashed, as well as a way to contain this flooding sense of release, here is my full-nude debut just for you loyal loving fans. Facebook prudes, you are so fucking missing out.

The Nude Singer, out.

Sydney vs Melbourne

2011-11-26T12:07:00.004+11:00

Between living in Sydney for about three-and-a-half years and my personal observation when I was vacationing in Melbourne as well as what Melbournians have told me, I think I have a pretty good basis to come up with the Sydney versus Melbourne table, not that I need it to decide which city is better to live in (but still it is better to back decisions with actual numbers).

[Note: from a scale of 1 (worst) to 5 (best), “I” = importance, “S” = score, “T” = total (I x S)]

I	Sydney	S	T	Melbourne	S	T
2	Good beaches	5	10	Not-as-good beaches	1	2
	Another good source of skin cancer			Not an issue as I am not a beach-goer
1	Iconic Opera House and Harbour Bridge	5	5	No major Australian icons	2	2
	Been there and climbed that ie. I’m done with them			Not an issue as I am not a tourist
5	Poorer quality and selection of Southeast Asian food	2	15	Good Southeast Asian food	4	2
	A huge problem seeing that I come from Southeast Asia			The only problem is that I have to be more careful watching my waistline
5	Public transport is unreliable and filthy	2	10	Better public transport	4	20
	This is important if I were to continue staying in Sydney as I spend 3 hours commuting to work			Though important, it is still not as important as it is serious how bad Sydney’s public transport is since I can walk to work where I’ll be staying in Melbourne
2	City roads and development are messy and unplanned	2	4	Grid-format roads and organised city development	4	8
	Not so significant but adds to general frustration			Reminds me of Manhattan of which I absolutely love
2	Boring architecture	2	4	Interesting architecture	4	8
	Not something to fret about			A change in scenery from boring Sydney would be nice
5	Cost of housing in the city is getting obscenely ridiculous	2	10	Though expensive but not as compared to Sydney	3	15
	This is paramount as I need to live in the city (as I can’t and don’t wish to drive) and am intending to buy property			Another ace-in-the-hole for Melbourne—cheaper properties mean that I can live even closer to the city in Melbourne
5	Jobs in my industry are dwindling	2	10	Many more job opportunities and projects in Melbourne	5	25
	Career-suicide if I were to stay in Sydney in the long-term			Work and career is very important and we should all feel this way as that is where we spend half of our waking hours
4	People are racist and are so in-your-face	3	12	People are less in-your-face racist (but still are, I think)	4	16
	A big problem and the in-your-face aspect makes it awkward too			Because it is less in-your-face, it feels less omnipresent and not as awkward as in Sydney
3	Less friendly people	3	9	Friendlier people	4	12
	I am not very friendly to strangers as well so I don’t expect others to but it creates a fouler mood in all in general			Not a big deal but it does make every day pass a little smoother
5	Better weather	5	25	Not-so-good weather	2	10
	This is quite important and is one of the key plusses of Sydney (especially for a nudist)			Based on my research, an average-minimum of 2 to 5ºC, the general gloominess and a longer cold period are all not that bad especially when Ision likes the cold and I have lived in New York (which is frigid in winter)
3	A more unsafe (with the druggos and winos) and dirtier city to live in (more polluted too)	2	6	Melbourne is safer and cleaner	4	12
	Anyone can get used to it after a while so this is not too bad			People have told me Melbourne is a better city to raise kids—not important to me but I guess it can’t hurt
3	My friends who visit every-so-often have already seen Sydney	2	6	I can host my friends (and family) in a city that they have not been to	3	9
	This gives them less reason to come visit me should I continue to stay in Sydney			This is important as I do miss my friends and family back home
4	I have an established social circle	5	20	I have to re-create a new social circle	2	8
	Not a huge advantage because it is not that difficult to set up a new one			Not a big issue as I have done this several times before—the Victorian Aids Council would be a good starting point
3	A less artsy city	2	6	A more artsy city	4	12
	I have lived with this fact for three-and-a-half years so it obviously is not a significant issue			Perhaps it is a better city to further promote and develop my musical and modelling talents
1	Good night-life and clubbing scene	5	5	Not-as-good night-life and clubbing scene	2	2
	This is totally unimportant as I am not a clubber			Nothing is better than cuddling my bibi at home
4	Not a good city if you like coffee	3	12	Better cafés and coffees	5	20
	The fact that coffee costs more in Sydney and tastes worse is quite unacceptable			I like to catch up with friends in cafes (not pubs) and so an excellent café-culture is very important and oh, I love coffee too
4	Have slippers and shorts will travel	4	16	More fashion-conscious populace	2	8
	I am a more slippers-and-shorts kind of guy (more skin and less clothes = good) but having fashion-conscious people around you can't be too bad a thing			This is likely due to the colder weather and we all know the need for layers means greater choice of and need for fashion
3	More expensive shopping and less markets	2	6	Better and cheaper shopping, including more (and bigger) markets selling fresh produce	3	9
	With my annual pilgrimage back to Asia for clothes-shopping, this is not going to be an important thing			This doesn’t really matter because shopping in general in Australia is much more expensive compared to Asia. The markets are a nice touch though
0	Other unimportant comparisons	2	0	Other unimportant comparisons	4	0
	NRL, Star City, second best university, not been a capital city, no Melbourne Cup			AFL, Crown Casino, best university, first capital city, Melbourne Cup
	Sydney	Total: 191		Melbourne	Total: 218

You may or may not know this by now but Ision and I are relocating to Melbourne in January 2012 (moving stuff on the 3rd and flying (one-way!) on the 4th) and I am starting my new role (within the same company) a week later. This has been in the books for quite a while now and the rejection by Caltex earlier this year was the final nail to the coffin (Melbourne was my first choice when I was planning my move to Australia anyway—read about my first job interview in Melbourne).

As of today, we have secured an apartment (taking over a friend’s) in the Melbourne CBD which is a stone’s throw away from anything you would possibly need (Chinatown, shopping, supermarket, gym and even my office), informed our current landlord of our last day of residence, found a tenant to continue our lease (they are moving in 2 days after we leave), paid the deposit for the cheapest interstate mover we could find, started throwing away unwanted stuff and packing.

Neither of us has lived in Melbourne before and so this would be a great new experience. I will be working in an office environment and can wear real office clothes at long last (no more worrying about messing my clothes up sleeping on the train or stepping into the refinery). The fact that I need not commute to work anymore (my new office is 1.6 km away from where I'll be living) also means that my working hours are much more flexible (I can finally gym before work)! All in all, there is really no reason for us to turn back at this point and I have not even looked at the final Sydney vs Melbourne scores from the table above!

The Nude Singer's debut

2011-11-12T09:47:00.003+11:00

For my friend’s big four-o last month, I performed at The Midnight Shift for his birthday party which was kind of a debut for The Nude Singer. I was fretting over the least cheesy way to incorporate both the “singer” and “nude” aspects and finally decided on the most appropriate option to reveal some flesh yet not appear too extreme—it was a debut after all.

I was rather satisfied with my performance and I also received a lot of good feedback but I think I will let you decide for yourself.

PS: As we started late, I was pushed to continue right after my first song without having a chance to plug my website. I will try harder next time—if only someone is willing to hire me to perform at their functions…

Musical journey (19)

2011-11-01T07:28:00.001+11:00

Thirty-two years have made me and passed me by on this day and I have never been prouder of what I have accomplished in life so far. More importantly I see my future in a very positive light and that is the best thing anyone can hope for in this day and age when it seems there isn’t much around us to be happy about. We all hope for hope.

We spend countless hours and untold number of calories complaining about life and what it has thrown us into. I do that too but I try my best to split my frustrations into solvable problems (short-term and long-term) and unsolvable problems. Once you categorise life’s challenges like that, you would have essentially eradicated all problems in your life because firstly you don’t really have to worry about unsolvable problems (since they are unsolvable!) and secondly a solvable problem is not a really a problem if you have a realistic plan to tackle it (and then follow through with it till the end). Life is complicated enough with all the greys in between the black and white so we have to compartmentalise and break it down into as many discrete bits as possible. This is but one of the ways I manage my life.

Another very crucial (if not the most) aspect of life is your relationship with yourself because it shapes every single thing you do, every single thought you will ever construct as well as the impact you have on others. I cannot repeat this cliché enough but you have got to love yourself first before anyone can love you and no one is going to do that hard work for you because they simply cannot. I shall not write another piece about loving yourself but suffice to say you have to put that as the top priority in your life before everything else. Unfortunately it takes maturity and some falling down to get it right as we all continue to learn more about ourselves throughout this journey.

Since no one can help you love yourself, if you have successfully done it, you can then claim all the credit—this is one of the best rewards you will ever get in life. This also makes you a much more independent person and someone who doesn’t spend his whole life pleasing other people. The world is a huge place full of different people, some of whom will hate you forever (with or without good reason to) and so it is wasted effort trying to get them on your side. Focus on the people who support you and make you feel good about yourself and weed out all the others. This is yet another way to simplify life by the act of compartmentalisation. Of course as you get more independent and sure of yourself, your tolerance for other people’s bullshit and drama will gradually drop and this is a good thing—just don’t let the aggravation become bitterness and alienate you from the rest of the world (think of a bitter old man all alone in a retirement home).

Before you accuse me of being too preachy, I must admit that I am also guilty of all the things that I know I shouldn’t be doing but at least I am aware of it. That is why looking (metaphorically) at yourself in the mirror once in a while is useful—it allows you to examine your current position, the things that are wrong with it and how you can redirect your path to a more desirable spot. I am but another student in this lecture called life and I have been in that classroom for thirty-two years as of today.

To celebrate this day, I have written myself a birthday song incorporating all that I have said earlier and then some. I hope you will find it both musically- and inspirationally-uplifting.

[Free]

Now's the time, say goodbye to your fears
Open your mind, you will find your dreams are so near

All you've got to do, is to love what's in you
'Cos there's no one who can do that for you
There's nothing to lose, you've got the right to choose
To embrace or hate yourself, it's up to you

The journey's not smooth, you'll fall and you'll bruise
But never give up what you've set out to do
That doesn't mean you have to play by the rules
Make your own and let them all follow you

You're free, believe in yourself
'Cos you know you can make it
And you'll see nothing can stand in your way
'Cos it's your right to be free so take it

Do what you have to, to find that real you
Out of the shadows of those in front of you
Only when you love you, you can find another to
Then every day will truly be worth waking up to

It's my time, my time to shine now and here
It's my life, everything's so bright and so clear
Thirty-two years have made me and passed me by
Right in front of me, I see nothing but light

I'm free, I'm me
And I know for certain who I'm gonna be
Take me or leave me
But I'll not let you say no to me

'Cos I'm free, I'm me
And I know for certain who I'm gonna be
Take me or leave me
Try as you might but there is no way that you can break me

The whole package

2011-10-24T07:32:00.002+11:00

As you know, I have been published in Thailand's Attitude magazine in August and in this short post, I will share with you guys the rest of the series. The article was titled "Whole Package" as quoted from one of my interview answers and though I think I do live up to that title, I hope you will feel the same way too with these offerings. Enjoy!

PS: A fan of mine later sketched one of the pictures in this series and the physical drawing is now being sent to me via air mail as my birthday present! Isn't he sweet?

Product on sale: The Nude Singer

2011-10-15T09:51:00.002+11:00

Ever since I got the body I have today from slaving off in the gym, I have received a lot of compliments for it on gay dating sites (Fridae, Trevvy, Gaydar, Manhunt, Grindr, Scruff, BoyAhoy). You see, it all started with the need to search for a partner (hence the many platforms) which then slowly got me used to those compliments till today when I think I might develop withdrawal symptoms should that stream of nice words stop completely all of a sudden. I know I know, call me a narcissist or a slut or both, I really don’t give a hoot for I would rather be a narcissistic equal-opportunity lover than a self-hater who cannot see the beauty in every human being. By the way, I am also an exhibitionistic nudist if you still do not know.

I have always wanted to bring my modelling-as-a-hobby to another level since about a year ago and after a failed attempt at signing with a model agency (something which lasted for less than a month before the agent decided to change career direction), I thought it was time to set up my own Facebook fan page. Seeing how social networks permeate every stratum of today’s society, there is really no good reason to not have a website where people who love my body, my modelling work and music can congregate and have a chance to see and hear more of me. The Facebook page can also help put a masculine Asian image out there which I think the Western world needs more of, especially in countries like Australia. Of course the now more-targeted stream of compliments makes me feel even better about myself. It is a win-win-win situation.

So out of all this, The Nude Singer was born on 28th August 2011. With things like social networks, YouTube, blogs, as well as modelling profiles (of which I have 1, 2, 3) and web albums, it is necessary to hit a critical mass of followers and hits before you become a runaway viral phenomenon. Although I am still far, FAR from that, I am working on it and it is only when you start thinking of ways to thrust yourself into the scene that you begin to see how inept you are when it comes to selling yourself on these new media platforms. It is of no surprise at all that a new industry, countless jobs and websites have sprouted out of this need to maximise one’s reach using such burgeoning and oft-confusing and -conflicting avenues in the most effective and efficient manner. Making sense of it all by itself is a full-time job and I am doing this on the side so I should at least be given some credit for my “achievements” so far right?

A lot of people may wonder why I named my site “The Nude Singer”. You see, I actually have a talent that I am even more proud of than modelling and looking good in front of cameras—it is actually singing and song-writing. However I am acutely aware that singing in the nude is not really mass-marketable and we are not even talking about the flak Facebook is giving me because of the pictures I post (they COMPLETELY missed the meaning of the word “nudity” and that resulted in me having only one more strike before the page gets removed). I also understand that I do need real musical gigs and to sing live in front of an audience to be really recognised as a singer. Although being a foreigner trying to make it musically in Australia adds another whole new level of hardship, I must admit I am little lazy in the musical–promotion department and I should be smacked hard into some action.

But for now, let me worry about the modelling aspect of my skill set that I want to sell on Facebook. At the moment, instead of getting viral, I am hitting the wall of saturation (despite having only less than 150 “Likes”). One obvious thing to consider at this juncture is to evaluate whether Facebook is a good platform to begin with for doing the things I would like done. I am a no-holds-barred kind of guy who wears brutal-honesty and total-transparency as a badge and by continuing to stay on Facebook and heeding its warning to not post “objectionable” pictures, I am essentially compromising my identity, my expression and my art. I might as well walk back into my closet while I am at it.

So I have come to a conclusion that should I be banned by Facebook, I should take it in my stride, thank my fans for their support and get on with life knowing that Facebook is only good for a segment of the world population despite having more than 500 million users. Sometimes I feel so fortunate to not be a starving artist or photographer who needs such avenues to promote himself so as to land the next meal on his table. Because this facet of my life is still a hobby to me, I can hold on to my integrity and choose not to play by other people’s rules, especially when they are rules that I totally disagree with. You know, I still wonder if no one complains about my pictures since they are all fans who opted to subscribe to the page, does Facebook have enough resources to scour the entire world-wide-web for pictures to remove? A friend suggested that maybe the word “nude” points the search-bots in my direction and as a result I get much more scrutiny than others. Well it is too late to change the name now that I have more than 100 “Likes”—yet another idiotic Facebook rule. Oh, and this is not the first time I was plagued by Facebook woes, it has happened once before. That was one of the reasons why I wrote the song “Are You Looking at Me”.

However while I am still alive and kicking on Facebook, there remains a need to find a way to reach a wider audience and frankly I am at my wit’s end trying. To give you an idea of what I have been doing thus far in terms of self-promotion, I am directing most of the complimentary-messages I get from gay dating sites to my Facebook page and this blog (which sometimes irk people because of the act being too “impersonal” and “self-centred”) and posting my pictures on Trevvy’s “Hotbods” with directing links (which sometimes garner nasty comments). I guess they have yet to actually visit my page which has the following description, “This will be about me, raw and peeled in all its glory. There’ll be no holding back, no turning back and no apologies”. So I think being self-centred is kind of the thing. I have painstakingly re-invented myself from wretched beginnings of low self-esteem and self-hatred so I know I deserve my break and moment in the sun now.

At the end of the day, regardless of whether this whole endeavour actually leads to somewhere good, I will need to be comfortable with the fact that I might very well be not sufficiently-talented to make it big enough to quit my day job. As long as this remains as a hobby that generates enough chatter to distract me from the dreary life as a chemical engineer, I will be contented. And so I shall continue to safely-bask in the warmth created within this intimate circle of fans (some of which are extremely supportive—my hugs and kisses go out to them!).

But still I would like to ask—what do you think I should or can do to further promote myself given the direction that I have chosen? Is the lack-lustre performance of my site simply due to the fact that I did not invest enough time on it?

PS 1: I am in the process of putting together a gig at my friend’s upcoming birthday party at The Midnight Shift in an attempt to officially-whore myself out as The Nude Singer. The hardest part of this gig is figuring out the best way to sing sans clothes without coming across as a total weirdo or worse-still an ultimate cheese-ball.

PS 2: I have an interview and video shoot with ACON's (AIDS Council of New South Wales) Gay Asian Men Project today which are part of series of moves to reach out to more sections of the community. You can rest assured that I will plug The Nude Singer while I am at it.

Musical journey (18)

2011-10-08T10:14:00.005+11:00

When someone mentions the word “relationship”, a romantic one is usually the first thing that pops into mind. However we are involved in many more non-romantic relationships throughout our lives. So if we exclude procreation from the equation, why do romantic relationships (spouses, long-term partners, flings, affairs, and what have you) take precedence in today’s society? The Valentine's Day industry (Hallmark, Tiffany's, etc), senseless-yet-taken-seriously Hollywood rom-coms as well as the growing isolation in the world (with the advent of Internet) are just a few examples. We have romanticised this interpretation of relationship to such an extent that we sometimes forget that friends, parents, siblings and even pets also form a substantial part of “relationships”. I for one was guilty of that many years ago when I set “finding a partner” as the only goal in my life.

It was then when I wrote a song about the “end” of my relationships with several friends at the precise time when they started pairing up with partners. This phenomenon is an inevitable fact of life and yet another manifestation of the problem of over-emphasising the importance of romantic relationships. The irony is that in the song, friendship was portrayed just like romantic relationships with concepts like betrayal, commitment, heartache and loneliness common to losing a lover. If we expect the same level of fidelity, honesty and respect as we would expect from a lover, will we make the over-romanticising problem even worse? If not, how should we justify treating friends and lovers as equally-important in our lives? Let’s listen to this song as we ponder…

[If]

/ 词 / 曲：锦泉 /

If 时间发了疯
If 恶梦过了钟
If 朋友个个消失无影踪
双双对对做快乐的梦

If 笑声不再有
If 泪不能一起流
If 朋友个个已不如昨
越想留他们越要走

If you 选择要分手
请你说出口
我会让你走
冥冥已经注定
我会一个人走
为何还不能接受

If you 开始言不由衷
开始找借口
我会让你走
我要你快乐
就算会寂寞
虽然我们已各分西东
但愿你会永远记得我

[If]

If time got crazy on overdrive
If the nightmare went past its end-time
If friends vanished one by one without a trace
Off in pairs to make happy dreams

If there were no more laughter
If tears could not be shed together
If friends were no longer themselves
The more you wish for them to stay
The more they want to leave

If you choose to break up
Please just say so
I will let you go
Since it has been written in my destiny to walk alone
Why can I still not accept it

If you start to not mean what you say
And begin to find excuses
I will let you go
For I only want you to be happy
Even if it will land me in loneliness
Though we have gone our separate ways
I hope you will remember me forever

Pondering time over. My conclusion (with mathematical simplicity and precision)—friendship is a subset of romantic relationships, period. Since one can do everything one does with a friend with a lover but not vice versa, if push comes to shove, there can only be one logical choice.

PS: I really love how the video highlights the strength-out-of-despair message of the song.

The article (Attitude)

2011-09-24T11:21:00.029+10:00

As you know, I had quite a few shoots when I was in Bangkok. I liked all of them but one in particular landed me a feature in last month's Thai version of Attitude magazine (with the original edition from the UK). Well it is a gay lifestyle magazine which has been toned down to suit the more conservative Asian market but that doesn't mean it has compromised on dishing out pictures of hot guys (*ahem*). When I organised the shoot I was not aware of the photographer's strong affiliation with the magazine but on hindsight I was glad to have contacted him (one of Bangkok's top photographers in this genre).

The column in which I was featured is called "Real Life"and I guessed it was dedicated more to non-models ie. real-life people (no offence to professional models, hehe). It came with an interview which I will be sharing with you guys here. The strange thing is that it was translated from English to Thai and now I want it translated back to English to see how much of the interview was "lost in translation", censored and put together into a coherent story out of discrete questions and answers. Not being a native Thai speaker, I think I will never really know even when it has been translated back to English (unless done by a good translator). I think I shall just let this rest for the time being and let you have a read of the Q & A (the phrasing of the questions have been reproduced verbatim).

===============================================

Q: Could you please introduce your self: name, surname, age, occupation, etc.?

A: My name is Kim (surname is Tien). I am 32 years old working as a chemical engineer in a consultancy firm here in Sydney Australia.

Q. As you were born in Singapore, can you tell us how did your parents bring you up, and how was your childhood?

A: My father passed away from cancer when I was eight and I have felt that something was missing in my life ever since. I became very close to my mum but our family was not well-to-do so everyone had to work long hours and I was always left on my own in my growing up years. Somehow without much supervision from my mum, I grew up even more disciplined and always scored straight A’s in exams. Perhaps being gay, I felt that there was something wrong with me and tried to over-compensate for that in terms of academic results, which was not an easy thing to do in a competitive country like Singapore. There is not much I can remember from my childhood except loneliness and lots and lots of studying.

Many people tend to attribute their faults to their upbringing and childhood but I think we should be cautious not to push the blame onto the past too much. Instead we should bear the responsibility and take action to improve ourselves today for a better future. I like to look forward nowadays and not dwell on the past—it is much more productive to make plans for tomorrow and work towards those goals.

Q: When did you know that you actually like men and how did you feel?

A: My earliest memory of having same-sex fascination (there wasn’t really attraction per se at that time) was when I was four. I remember watching my father taking a shower and looking at him kind of differently. When I was twelve, I would play a game with a male friend at school in which we climbed over the wall of the toilet stall to look at each other take a piss. As I had my puberty rather late compared to others, I was always envious of guys who had started theirs and over time, that developed to a desire for their more-developed genitals and then a sexual attraction for the male form as a whole. I did not feel that that was anything wrong or weird then as I thought everybody had that in them. This went on till I was eighteen when a gay army friend finally enlightened me by linking my same-sex attraction to the word “homosexuality” and told me that was normal. He also urged me to try gay sex to see if I liked it.

My first sexual encounter wasn’t all that great as there was a fair bit of pain but my friend nudged me to try it again with another better partner. Things were right the second time round and I felt the love and affection from another man that I wanted all my life. Although I was devastated when I had to let him go, that encounter with him started a permanent change in me as I slowly identified myself as a homosexual person. That was when I came out to my mum.

Q: Do your parents and friends know about your coming out? Are you open to them?

A: The funny thing is that I came out to my mum before I came out to my friends. I just felt that there was something so special about my first loving sexual encounter that I had to share that with my mum, someone I love dearly—I didn’t even think of what repercussions there could be in my coming out to her. She was a wreck initially as the news adversely affected her health. She lost all appetite for a few months and kept blaming herself and wanted me to change. She even quarantined me from the rest of the family for fear that I had HIV (I blame the lack of HIV-education in Singapore at that time).

I struggled with my sexual identity for quite a long time as both my mum and I grappled with the same problem from totally different angles. After about five patient years of telling her that it was impossible for me to change and that being myself was the best and only way for me, she eventually altered her perception of my sexual identity and gradually started to not resist it. It was a slow and hard journey because it took a while to convince even myself that continuing being gay and not trying to change was going to be the only path ahead of me. Before I settled down with my current partner, she constantly nagged me to not be promiscuous but now that she has seen my partner many times (she lived with us when she last visited me in Sydney), the nagging has stopped and I daresay there is finally full acceptance of my sexual identity and my relationship with my partner.

Q: How’s the gay community in Singapore? Do Singaporean gays have freedom to express what they want to do?

A: The first thing you need to know is that anal sex between males is still illegal in Singapore—that just sets the stage for how the gay community and gay life in Singapore is. Singapore is quite a conflicted country trying very hard to open up and liberalize to the tune of globalization for the sake of boosting the economy while at the same time being quite oppressive with regards to human right issues ranging from capital punishment to gay rights. On the one hand we can do a lot of things freely like visiting the many gay saunas and clubs, taking part in gay social activities and even organizing large-scale events like Pink Dot. On the other hand, the country can smack you with the gay-sex law that still remains in the books so that the government can use it as and when they like. Although they keep saying that the law is not actively enforced, it is not always the case.

As a gay person living in Singapore, I felt my freedoms were constantly under threat and my expressions routinely censored. In that climate, I simply could not flourish. However many gays in Singapore are still happy with that and are contented enough with whatever the government does (many of those people remain in the closet). I am sure they would want the same rights as the heterosexuals but a lot of people are not willing to stand up and fight for them. This is the main reason why I left Singapore for Sydney—I just couldn’t take the hypocrisy of the government anymore. So if you ask me do gays have the freedom to do what they want to do? My answer would be yes and no, depending on how much you want to do. I want to get married to my partner—good luck waiting for that to be legalized in Singapore.

Q: How did you move to Sydney? What are you doing in Sydney?

A: I have done a 6-month exchange programme in Sydney when I was doing my undergraduate studies and had always loved the city. When I met my partner and decided to relocate to Sydney to start a new life and be with him, it all became apparent that I must get my permanent residency quickly. I applied for it online under the “Skilled Migration” scheme as someone with chemical engineering skills—one of the many that Australian citizens at that time didn’t have enough of. I got my permanent residency within 7 months in April 2008 (I am very proud of that achievement) and I moved to Sydney 2 months later. I now work as a chemical engineer for a consultancy firm based in an oil refinery.

Of course that is only what I do as a profession. What I do in Sydney is so much more—song-writing, modelling, involving in gay activism like marching in same-sex marriage rallies, as well as attending the many gay social activities Sydney has to offer eg. nudist retreats, gay Asian men discussion groups, parties and so on. I live a busy and fulfilled life in Sydney.

Q: What’s the difference between the gay community in Singapore and the gay community in Sydney?

A: A core difference that is seen across the entire population is that Singaporeans are more close-minded. People might think that Singaporeans are more reserved because Asians tend to be conservative whilst Westerners are more liberal and open-minded—that is only true to a small extent. I feel that in the past generation, Singaporeans had been brought up in a very spoon-fed, regimented and artificially-constructed society which stunted their development to think critically. As a result when compared to Australians, Singaporeans do not think outside the box as much since they have not really been given a chance to experience life outside the box. Of course Singapore has a very fast-paced life and things are very different and definitely more relaxed here in Australia. This gives people here more time to be themselves and do things they want to do and not because they are forced to do them.

All of the above translates to the gay community as well and so in Sydney, gay life is more individualistic, vibrant and not so underground. For one, gay sex is not illegal here and in fact, gay de-facto relationships here have the same rights as heterosexual marriages. The gay community in Sydney is more engaged in fighting for their own rights simply because it is allowed here. In this open and free-for-all environment, you can really see the diversity in the gay community ranging from the bear and leather groups to the nudists and drag queens. People here are less afraid to come out and shine as themselves (though I think they can certainly drink less which will consequently lead to less alcohol-related social problems). In Singapore, the gay community has been moulded by society to be more one-dimensional and now that I have seen Singapore from outside the box, that single dimensionality is rather boring.

Q: Singapore and Sydney, which one do you prefer?

A: I shall answer this by creating a simple pros-and-cons list:
Pros of Singapore: great food, lower cost of living, my family and close friends are all back in Singapore.
Cons of Singapore: gay sex is illegal, I can never see gay marriage legalized in my lifetime, the weather sucks, and people are close-minded.

Pros of Sydney: excellent weather, more vibrant gay community, a more relaxed pace of living, my partner is here, and I think we will be able to marry in at most 5 years’ time.
Cons of Sydney: one of the most expensive cities in the world to live in, racism is pretty strong, and I miss home occasionally.

So like all things in life, there is a good and a bad side to everything but if you want me to make a strict choice, I think I would still prefer to live in Sydney at this point. Life has also showed me the fluid nature of things so ask me in 2 years’ time and I might give you a different answer.

Q: Have you been to Thailand and experienced the Thai gay community? How do you feel?

A: I have been to Bangkok many times and the reason why I keep visiting is Thailand’s good food, cheap shopping, professional massages and friendly people. The gay community in Thailand (especially Bangkok) is very active and gay culture is accepted and can be seen everywhere but ultimately Thailand is still a conservative country. This throws up a unique combination that seems to clash at first in people’s minds but Thailand could somehow make it work. There are plenty of discos and saunas to meet both locals and international visitors and I love all of them.

In my last trip (when I had the photo shoot with Airry), I encountered a situation in the gay saunas that frustrated me a little bit. In both Babylon and Chakran, hot Thai boys went straight for the Caucasians regardless of whether they are just of average or even below-average standards and totally ignored the other more attractive Asians around. I guess this was because Caucasians are much rarer in Thailand and so they tend to be more “exotic”. After living in Sydney for 3 years, my taste in Caucasian men is now quite sophisticated (you see, they are really a lot of cute and hunky white guys here) and so it was harder for me to accept why the Caucasians were more highly-desired than me in the Bangkok saunas. Well that was not a big issue and it certainly did not ruin my trip and my very good impression of the Land of Smiles.

Q: We saw that you created your own blog, what are you writing about and how many people frequent your blog?

A: I created my blog (http://kim-thenextphase.blogspot.com) straight after I relocated to Sydney because I wanted to use it as an avenue to keep all my friends and family back home abreast of what’s been happening to me in this other continent. I cover all sorts of topics on my blog ranging from interesting things I have done, my observations and opinions on current global affairs to my latest shoot pictures and songs that I have written. I think it is a combination of down-to-earth honest sharing of my life, nice music and of course a sexy body that attracts people to my blog. I do not have a huge following like many other bloggers but I do have a faithful bunch of people who would visit now and again. You can be sure that I will post this article on the blog for all to read (I need to find someone to translate it to English first). I am quite proud of myself for being published in a gay magazine for a second time (the first one being Australia’s DNA magazine).

Q: We heard that you had done loads of nude photo shoots, what made you to do that?

A: I am someone who embraces his body to the fullest and who is very proud of it. I am also a nudist. I have blogged about the reasons behind my being a nudist and they are all related to my frank and totally-transparent nature. Only when we are not restricted and hidden behind clothes will our guard, inhibitions, dishonesty and hypocrisy be torn down. It is only then can people truly communicate with one another on a real level. Many people are very insecure with their bodies and have things they dislike about them and to me, that is the reason why there aren’t more nudists in the world. People plagued with body issues are generally rather unhappy in their lives and this in turn affects the people around them.

All this explains why I am a nudist but obviously not all nudists do photo shoots like me. But let me not be humble for a second—there are not a lot of nudists with a rocking solid body like mine too. With this powerful coupling of a hot body and a nudist spirit comes an almost therapeutic sense of security which exudes in everything I do and that includes nude photo shoots. I love it when people like my pictures and give me positive comments. I cannot deny the fact that I like the attention my body gives me, which is another reason why I do those shoots. Between you and me, I will let you in on a secret—it makes me feel all hot and horny when I know that there are people who jerk off to my pictures!

Q: What’s the favourite part of your body? Which part of your body do you think is attractive and seductive?

A: To be honest, I think my favourite would be my brain. I am a person who thinks in an extremely logical and analytical manner yet I also have a sensitive and artistic side as evidenced by my music and photo shoots. This balance can only be achieved by the brain that I have now so naturally that is the favourite part of my body and I love it to death.

As for an external body part, I think it would be my abs for they are very cut and defined (after countless hours of hard work—there is no doubt about that!). I think nice abs makes a person look more muscular than he really is. I have gotten most compliments for my abs as well as my arms and to a lesser extent my ass—different people are just drawn to different things. Frankly I sometimes even get turned on by myself (am I narcissistic or what)! Ultimately without a personality that pulls everything together, a beautiful body is nothing but a beautiful body and I can honestly say that I have the whole package—inside and out!

===============================================

I am glad they liked the "whole package" bit and made that the title of the piece. Other notable albeit discrete English words and phrases include "DNA", "Pink Dot", "Skilled Migration" as well as the full address of my blog—I expect lots of traffic with this article (hehe). Hopefully with this increased traffic, some kind soul out there would drop by and help me translate the entire article. In my next post I will be sharing the rest of the pictures from this photo shoot so keep your eyes peeled for them!

Musical journey (17)

2011-09-10T08:50:00.005+10:00

Occasionally, I will feel like opening my song-writing toolbox and sharpening my tools. This is when I go online, randomly choose an instrumental piece with a nice rhythm and then fill in the tune and words. When I write songs this way, the words are usually written after I come up with the tune (for me, it is harder to do it the other way round using this method). At times, I would try a never-before-attempted genre and challenge myself. When I start writing, I become obsessed for the next few hours up to the next few days depending on how much inspiration I have at that time—I would not rest until I finish writing, recording and making the video.

In this month’s musical journey, I will share a song I have just written out of this tool-sharpening process. The genre I have chosen this time round is hip-hop and having so many free-to-use backing tracks online, it was not difficult to get started on the creative process. If you don’t personally write (or have song-writing as your breadwinning job), it will be hard to understand that energy surging from within you pushing you forward as well as the immense satisfaction you get when you listen to the finished product over and over again (of course it doesn’t hurt to love your own voice and find it comforting. Hehe). Perhaps the greatest perk of writing your own songs (or poems, novels and what have you) is being able to call it your very own and to assert without any doubt that it is completely original and that you can never hear it anywhere else. It might not be very good but it will always be wholly yours.

So here is a take on hip-hop with my newest song about a jilted lover being played by the game of love and eventually turning the tables around to play love as a game.

[游戏]

/ 词 / 曲：锦泉 /

喂, 为什么要放弃
爱就爱何必去找任何原因
喂, 为什么你逃避
错就错在你没有什么决心

话我说了, 你只回了四个字 “ 我都晓得 ”
静下来了, 手机你关上了
说它没电池了, 叫我怎相信呢？

没, 没什么大问题
只不过有些人把爱当游戏
没, 没有什么关系
到最后自讨没趣的不是你

花不送了, 等不到你那一句 “ 我心领了 ”
聚散离合, 愿望一半实现了
已经看开了, 我没什么选择

我, 悔不悔, 累不累, 谁负谁, 没所谓
如今只求一晚安睡
黑吃黑, 美不美, 对不对
我问心无愧, 连你都不得罪

我 , 给都给, 亏都亏了, 追啊追, 又何为
代价不比教诲昂贵
退的退, 碎的碎, 醉的醉
不是我不对, 是你真的不配

OK, 怎么走下步旗
爱情这游戏原来我玩得起
OK, 网络上再继续
陌生的脸总有个会变熟悉

喂, 为什么我该放弃
我想爱就爱何必浪费时间天花乱坠找个原因
喂, 为什么你偏偏选择逃避
你错就错在由始至终没什么决心
没没没, 没什么太大的问题
只不过有些人脑筋太灵活把爱当成竞技游戏
没什么关系到你
只因为故事的最后自讨没趣的不是你

[Game]

Hey, why does one give up?
Why must one find a reason to love?
Hey, why must you escape?
Your lack of perseverance is what’s wrong with you

I have told you how I felt and you simply replied “I know”
Then everything quietened down
As you turned off your phone and blamed it on a dead battery
How can I believe anything you say?

No, it’s not a big problem
If you don’t include the fact that people treat love as a game
No, it doesn’t matter
Because you are not the one wasting time in the end

I will no longer send you flowers after receiving no sign of acceptance
People split up and come together all the time
And since I have realised half of that
I have decided to let go for I have no other choice

Do I regret it? Am I sick of it? Who betrayed whom?
It doesn’t matter anymore
For now I only need a night of restful sleep
Exacting revenge on one another—is that a pretty sight? Is that a right thing to do?
I act with no guilt for I have chosen to not offend anyone, not even you

I have given and I have lost so there really isn’t any point to continue pursuing
The price I have paid is far less than the value of the lesson learnt
Your withdrawal and my heartbreak swirling in my drunken mind
I am not wrong, it is only you who are wrong for me

OK, how should I make my next chess-move?
I now have the strength to play love as a game
OK, let the search continue online
I know one of these strange faces will become familiar one day

The month away (part 9)

2011-08-27T11:09:00.003+10:00

In this last post of my month away in pictures, I will be sharing photos from one of the hottest shoots I have done so far. Satisfying my exhibitionistic desires to the fullest, this daring topless shoot right in the middle of Bangkok's popular shopping district gave me an experience of the city in a totally different light.

The shoot began very well from about dusk albeit the attention it was attracting (something which I LOVED). We were always looking out for authorities trying to stop us from proceeding further since Thailand is still ultimately a conservative country. About twenty minutes into the shoot when the photographer was trying to set up his tripod in the middle of a steady stream of human traffic, he was stopped by a security guard who told him that that would cause too much disruption. Without being able to set up the tripod, the long-exposure shot we were after was impossible and we had to adjourn elsewhere.

After moving to a more isolated spot, we did some shots on a bench and continued to garner lots of gawking. Then we moved to the side of a busy street where we did the rest of the shots that required me to keep perfectly still to achieve the desired effects. All in all it was a hot night (for more reasons than one). I love to work with this no-nonsense photographer who knew exactly what he wanted (I had another shoot with him showing Bangkok from another angle). He told me that I have given him one of his all-time favourites, which is on sale here.

So the documentation of my month away concludes here. It has been great sharing part of my life with you and an even greater opportunity to continue showcasing the fruits of my modelling projects.

Sizzling Silom

Musical journey (16)

2011-08-22T07:43:00.002+10:00

Airports have always had an effect on me in the sense that instead of experiencing the joy of reunions, I feel the sadness of departures. I attribute that to my almost-seven-year long-distance relationship before I met Ision. The pain and sorrow of leaving a loved one at the airport never failed to get to me even after that relationship.

This time round at the airport when I was returning from my month-long vacation, I no longer went through that depression, not even slightly. This of course came as a no-brainer seeing that I do not have the need to cling on to that emotion anymore with a stable long-term relationship. The habitual and almost instinctive invocation of melancholy associated with airports has completely dissipated.

That is not to say I felt nothing during the one-year long-distance phase of my relationship with Ision. In fact whenever I was down like this in airports, I whipped out my trusty pen and notebook and started writing songs. This expression outlet not only calmed me down but kept me occupied throughout the long flights (as I always made sure I finished the words and tune by the end of the flight). During that year of inter-continental flights between Singapore and Sydney, I have written several songs documenting my state of mind when I had to leave Ision and this was one of them.

[Worth]

The sun has just revealed its face
Against the clock I start to race
The hardest thing that I can ever do
Is leaving home when I'm in your embrace

A step I took onto the train
Below my eyes I feel rain
Why does pain hit me again so soon
But I know these tears do not fall in vain cos'

Baby there is no one
There's no one worth crying for
But you are that someone and I'm willing to give it all
Just to have you touch me just once more
Baby just once more
You're worth all this and more

A step I took onto the plane
And then there is sun again
I close my eyes so I can see you
And the pain was left in the wind with its chains

I pray for the day in May
For it to come with haste
So I can be
So I can be whole again

Baby there is no one
There's no one worth dying for
But you are that someone and I'm willing to give it all
Just to let me kiss you just once more
Baby just once more
You're worth all this and more

Well that is enough negative energy for the time being. Look out for my next post (the last one on my month-long trip) for there will be some amazing pictures.... of me!

The month away (part 8)

2011-08-17T07:36:00.003+10:00

There is a lot of Asian food here in Sydney but a lot of it is not really authentic which is totally understandable because restaurateurs need to cater to the local palate. Another thing I will never get in Australia is home-cooked food by my mum and that is something I will never stop missing. In this penultimate vacation-post, you will be able to sample a cross-section of the food I got to savour during these 31 days away. Credit goes to my trusty spreadsheet for the names of some of these dishes (and all credit for the spreadsheet goes to me!).

Gastronomical Delights

Home-cooked wanton spinach noodles. The translucence of the wanton skin showing the gentle tint of pink from the shrimps inside invites you to bite into them all the more. Coupled with the simple yet flavourful sauce, this dish is comfort food taken to exquisite levels.

Another sampling of mum-cooked fare. From top left going clockwise, we see steamed minced pork topped with salted fish and sliced ginger, shrimp omelette with a generous dose of onions (my favourite), and vermicelli stir-fried with cucumber and dried shrimps. These are some of the must-have dishes that I ask my mum to prepare during my going-home trips.

Steamed broccoli with oyster sauce with huge fresh scallops, stewed sea cucumber, and squid stir-fried with a vegetable medley—seafood offerings from the recipes plucked right of my mum’s head.

Talking about sea cucumbers, here is a tale of extreme rip-off at a Singaporean restaurant. In the top left, we see the sea cucumber dish as shown in the menu and the bottom left shows how it looked like untouched when it was served (the standard-sized Chinese tea cup beside the dish gives a good measure of the tininess of the pieces). For this miserable dish we were charged S$20! Rip-off to the n-th degree!!! The biggest picture shows from left to right a good piece of dried sea cucumber, then how it looks like when soaked in water (the standard 500ml drink bottle shows how large the soaked pieces are). This is how quality (and expensive) sea cucumber should look like. Name-and-shame time—the restaurant is “宝香绑线肉骨茶” or “Pao Xiang Bak Ku Teh” at Nex in Serangoon Central. Seeing how sky-high their prices were, mark my words—I think that rip-off joint will go out of business soon (if it has not already).

More on sea cucumbers—they can cost up to a few hundred bucks a kilo. A lot of foreigners cannot appreciate its taste and texture but my family sure can and do! In this preparation, mum wrapped marinated chicken thigh pieces along with hair-like seaweed and dried scallops in a whole large sea cucumber and stewed it for hours in low heat till the chewiness of the sea cucumber became just right—that was also when its flavour seeped into the chicken and vice versa. This dish has a very delicate and sophisticated quality to it and I am sure it can sell for at least a hundred dollars if served in a restaurant.

Culinary genius at work. You don’t need to be a master chef to know how to cook well—years and years of experience, experimenting and most importantly the genuine love of cooking and providing for the family can easily out-trump the oft-esoteric characteristic of the cooking techniques and skills of top chefs. These four pictures (clockwise from top left) show how mum's deep-fried pork balls with century egg and salted egg yolk centres were prepared. This is yet another of those must-have dishes that my mum would make for me.

The sea cucumber and pork balls were part of my farewell home-cooked dinner. Also shown in this picture are a stir-fried squid-and-cuttlefish combo with vegetables, stewed large dried shitake mushrooms as well as chicken and vegetable soup flavoured with dried anchovies. Yum factor to the max!

One of my favourite things to do with mum is a relaxing dinner-then-movie excursion. Before we watched “Priest” on this night, we dined at a Japanese restaurant called “Shin Kushiya” at a new mall near where we lived. Not too fancy yet refined enough to resemble fine-dining, we had a wonderful meal sampling the more unique dishes the eatery had to offer. From top left going clockwise: tako (cuttlefish) wasabi, pumpkin croquettes, grilled goose liver with caramelised green apple, grilled lady fingers wrapped with thinly-sliced pork and in the centre: ika kimchi (charcoal-grilled squid stuffed with kimuchi).

Continuation of the meal we had that night. From top left going clockwise: yaki onigiri & katsuoboshi (charcoal-grilled rice ball with eel), garlic rice, shisamo maki (deep-fried capelin fish topped with bacon in a sushi roll), okura mentaiko (tempura of ladies' fingers with codfish roe) and in the centre: umeshu (plum wine) tiramisu. The total bill was under S$100—not-too-bad at all!

Turtle soup. The last time I had this was eons ago when my father was still around and so I had totally forgotten how it tastes like. Well, the soup was rather heavily-spiced with Chinese medicinal herbs so I couldn’t really get to the basal taste of turtle. The most-coveted part is the skin and its texture is just like sea cucumber except that it is more collagenic and hence sticky. As for the meat, I know it is a cliché but it does taste like chicken but only chewier.

This was the breakfast I had in Taling Chan Floating Market in Bangkok. From top down: spiced minced fish with coconut milk (commonly known as “otah” in Singapore), chrysanthemum tea and palm juice, grilled giant prawns, sponge cake topped with caramelised coconut, spicy mango salad with dried fish and peanut. I also had deep-fried breaded shrimp cakes (not shown here). Feast like a king for only 235 baht (AUS$7.30—cheap as!) and we are not even including in that cost the enjoyment I got from dining amongst the friendly locals, great Chao Phraya scenery, sights and sounds wrapped in that authentic Thai flavour.

This is what you could get from Bangkok street-stalls—simple food heavy on taste and light on cost. Hot and sour shrimp and vegetable soup (not tom yum), BBQ chicken skewers and seafood fried rice for only 180 baht (AUS$5.60). Now when I look at these pictures again, I feel like planning for my next Bangkok trip already!

This is steamed frog legs doused in Brand’s Essence of Chicken which my mum and I had in a hawker centre in Johore Bahru called “Pusat Buah-Buahan Taman Sri Tebran”. It was very fresh and succulent—you should try it if you haven’t.

One of my quests in Vietnam was to have some authentic pho and I had that twice (one of which was at that chain Bill Clinton once visited). The other quintessentially-Vietnamese food item that was part of my quest was fresh rice paper rolls, which I had quite a bit of during the trip. Frankly I think the Vietnamese food in Sydney is better—it is much cleaner in taste perhaps because higher-quality ingredients and meats are used in Australia (with more sanitary food-preparation techniques I bet).

For one dinner, my friend and I decided to go to one of the most up-market restaurants in Ho Chi Minh City just for the fun of it. We originally wanted to go to a French one but it was too out of the way so instead we picked this Chinese restaurant called “Mandarine”, which boasted Condoleezaa Rice as one of its patrons. Top: spicy and sour seafood soup in coconut. Bottom: "Mandarine"-style spring roll with shrimp and pork.

The dishes at “Mandarine” were all very well-decorated and the clientele was mostly rich businessmen. The ambience was great as well with live Chinese music being played and polite and attentive service. Top: grilled fish wrapped with rice pancake. Bottom: steamed king prawn with garlic.

There is an impressive VIP room with a very well-stocked cellar on the first floor of this restaurant. I must say this was the best meal we had in Vietnam—no surprise given its total cost (2,323,000 Vietnamese dong or AUD$104). That being said, this meal will definitely cost at least twice more in Sydney. Too bad I had a toothache from the second course onwards and couldn’t even take a bite into the ice-cream dessert. Top: steamed rice in lotus leaf. Bottom: grilled chicken with cinnamon and foer dessert, fresh mango flambe with rum.

After having an abundance of cheap and good food for a month, I came back to Sydney and was greeted with this bit of irony. What bitter irony!

The month away (part 7)

2011-08-12T07:56:00.002+10:00

Here is the final part of my Vietnam travel pictures, I hope you are enjoying them so far.

Goodbye Vietnam!

You must be quite sick of me whingeing about the high costs (with close to everything charged in US dollars) of Ho Chi Minh City but this is the last you’ll hear from me regarding this. A funny thing though—I saw a Standard & Chartered ad in the local newspapers offering an online account with a 12% p.a. interest rate! That kind of intrigued me for a while (even after reading the fine print). Should I or shouldn’t I?

Typical street scenes of the chaotic city. The only way to navigate the mayhem without worrying that you might lose your life is to get to your destination (regardless of how near it is away from your origin) in a cab. In a four-wheeled enclosed vehicle, we seriously felt like we were in an impenetrable fortress and every single one of those pesky motorbikes and scooters had to give way to the king (and they did). Just make sure you get into the right cab.

People carried all sorts of cargo on these 2-wheelers, including 2 wheels! I found a photo book capturing the amazing things people transport on the back of scooters in Vietnam and I must say it was an eye-opener.

In a city where there is one scooter for every two inhabitants, you can imagine the demand there must be for helmets (I am surprised at the level of adherence to traffic rules in this regard). With high demand comes great supply and an advanced evolution of fashionable designs. Shops selling nothing but helmets were a commonplace and the top picture shows helmets sold in a place as unlikely as a supermarket.

In the top picture, you can see some unique Vietnamese infrastructure. From the left to right, there is accommodation for larger motor vehicles, smaller motorbikes and scooters and then for pedestrians. It was not uncommon to see users of the middle lane switch over to the either sides as if they were the sole users of the roads and pavements. In the bottom picture you will find one of the VERY rare sights of Ho Chi Minh City—a traffic light!

This shot was taken atop the highest floor of the Reunification Palace. The long road that stretched to the horizon was the infamous route the tanks took as they tore down the gate and charged into the premise (the then presidential palace) heralding the end of the Vietnam War.

You would think that as an armoured infantry section commander in the army who sometimes drove these things, I would be so sick of tanks right? Yes I am but I also like photo ops (especially illegal ones where you were not allowed to climb onto display vehicles. Hehe). It has been such a LONG time since I had to go back to the army now that I live overseas so I think my abhorrence of these armoured monstrosities has dropped somewhat. Being at the War Remnants Museum where I got a taste of military technology and strategies circa 1960 - 1970, I finally got the proof I have lacked for many years that the Singapore army is still using (and very proud of) the same technology ie. one that is way past its prime. Singapore does try to develop its own armoured vehicles though so I should at least give them some credit.

Compare the second item and the last item in this beverage menu.

When you travel in a tour group, you will have to accept the fact that you will be brought to tourist traps against your will. However I did not regret visiting this one where victims of the Vietnam War (including those in the generation after the War due to the mutagenic effects of Agent Orange—see the bottom left picture) worked in an assembly line of sorts (crushing, fitting, cutting, washing, polishing, etc) creating works of art from crushed shells of eggs and shellfish (of seriously-minute sizes). The very detailed and meticulous effort put into the intricate pieces amidst the harsh working conditions really impressed me.

Me at the Mekong Delta having one of the many boat rides (ranging from rowing- to motor-types). As for the traditional hats that scream Vietnamese, I finally understood their significance—you got to have them in this heat!

The torture techniques used during the Vietnam War—gruesome and graphic. The War Remnants Museum was originally named Museum of American War Crimes but was changed so as not to hurt American tourists’ sensibilities. Well for what they have done, I think we are kind of comparing apples with elephants. WARNING: the next picture might be a little too much for some.

Together with the captions, you will very quickly get past the self-righteous, sugar-coated warm-and-fuzzy messages warmongers inevitably spew trying to rationalise what they are doing and be overcome with the actual severity of war, the collateral damage then, now and in the future. There can never be a justification for this. Never, period. It was a solemn time in the war crime exhibit in the War Remnants Museum—everyone was engrossed with what they were looking at which first filled them with repugnance and then sadness. This was the first time ever that I have read every single caption of every single item being displayed in a museum.

The biggest atrocity of the Vietnam War was the use of the defoliant called Agent Orange in order to destroy the canopies and vegetation hiding the Viet Cong guerrillas. No one knew exactly at that time how far down the human life cycle the adverse effects would linger but they deployed the chemical anyhow. If Americans could unleash such hell with 1960-technology, do you seriously think that they have not already created monster agents of chemical- and biological-warfare with the technology of this century? It sends a shudder down my spine to think that a repeat of this episode is allowed today and can indeed happen again.

During the boat ride at the Mekong Delta shown in the clip below, I was given the oar by the boatman I guess to allow me to fully-immerse myself in the tourist attraction. I did feel that the other reason could be to spare him some of the paddling effort (it was a very tough job—I did row for a while only to give up about a minute into it).

The video below sums up my trip—“pandemonium at its best”. I couldn’t understand how without any traffic lights could the vehicles from four directions co-ordinate their timings. That being said, there were many junctions where four directions go off all at the same time! Also on the bottom right you could see something reminiscent of a zebra crossing—they might as well save the money painting and maintaining them because they were practically treated as invisible by motorists (in this regard they will actually do more harm than good if pedestrians (especially tourists) think that they are supposed to work)!

Well, there you have it—Ho Chi Minh City in a series of pictures. To be honest, this city is not one I will visit for a long time or maybe ever again. But like all things in life, we need to try them at least once before making a judgement. My friends told me Hanoi is much better but I don’t think I will take that chance anytime soon.

This is not the end of my vacation-blogging, stay tuned for a little bit more.

The month away (part 6)

2011-08-07T10:29:00.007+10:00

Let me continue from where I left off a few days ago… Now where was I? Right, my adventures in Ho Chi Minh City. One thing that was sorely lacking there was good shopping—other than high-end stuff, there wasn’t really much street-shopping, night markets and cheap unique indie labels like in Bangkok—yet things are more expensive than in Thailand. How could that be?

By the way in Vietnam, Facebook is officially banned from being allowed to pass through all ISPs’ internet filters. I was told the reasons but it was not very straightforward and now I have forgotten what they were. But like all things IT, if it is on a network, it can be hacked and there were tons of ways to get around this “ban”. We were also upgraded from a twin room to a family unit (because of a (good) mistake) that had a Internet-enabled computer in it which made it really convenient.

The Poor-Yet-Expensive City

I have never seen a jackfruit tree with SO many fruits hanging so lowly. That ground must be super-fertile!

There is Singlish in Singapore and Japlish in Japan. So I guess this is Vietlish. Actually it's not that bad—the signs in China are much worse.

Have you seen a taxi meter that is more complicated than that? Having to compute back and forth between Vietnamese dong, US dollars and Australian dollars was already hard enough and now this! By the way we were taken on a joyride by a cabbie one day and on a separate occasion hopped on to a cab with a rigged meter that started off at an amount lower than other taxis but jumped in much bigger intervals. Here is a piece of golden advice to would-be Vietnam-travellers—always take taxis from the “Vinasun” company.

Communist posters, flags and banner galore in Ho Chin Minh City, not surprisingly so of course. In the top picture, somehow something important was going to happen on 22nd May 2011 but alas I don’t read Vietnamese. It could be some major election of some kind but that did not make sense at all—democracy in a communist country?

Truly a bicycle built for two... or three or even an entire family of two parents and four small kids—that was the record number of people I saw travelling on a single motorbike in Vietnam during my four-day trip. Simply amazing!

Animal encounter #2—it was actually quite heavy. Just think of wrapping a very long, spirally and sinewy handbag around your body and you will know how it feels like.

Vietnam is a very conservative country. Even in the bloody heat somewhere in the wilderness called Mekong Delta, we were told to put on our shirts at the table during lunch at the restaurant (I use the word "restaurant" very loosely here). Urgh. This guy in the picture was told to do so too—how unbelievably-ignorant of how he looked could he be?

There are two things I would like to point out here in this menu from a café called Highlands Coffee (this café was everywhere in Ho Chi Minh City—like Gloria Jean’s of Australia and USA’s Starbucks). First look at the prices of standard soft drinks sold at this run-of-the-mill café (34,000 Vietnamese dong = US$1.70). This is a third-world country yet it sells soft drinks at such prices, isn’t that seriously unbelievable? The second thing to point out is the sale of cigarettes at the café (indoor smoking is EVERYWHERE and it took me quite a while to get used to it) and look at the prices of a pack of cigarettes in comparison with soft drinks!!!

Street-eating in the most literal sense. On the left you can see people actually sitting by the side of the road eating food bought from a nearby vendor peddling on a motorbike. And what’s with the very low stools? The picture on the left was of a proper restaurant—surely that can’t be that comfortable right?

Night-life and night recreational activities in the city. Motorbikes and scooters doubled up as seats in a park as countless couples lined the lanes enjoying some cool (polluted, but still cool—compared only to daytime) air. Using a park is an extremely economical way of spending one’s leisure time and I am sure that was the reason why that really caught on there. The bottom picture was a little strange to me because this woman was playing badminton by the roadside with no lights and no net with I think was her husband. Mighty strange indeed.

At the Cu Chi Tunnels where guerrilla warfare at its finest was unleashed upon the Americans in the Vietnam War. As our tour group was large, the guide did not give us each the chance to get into the small little hole in the ground in the top picture (I so wanted to do that!) but we had a chance to walk through a narrow tunnel of 100m or so (the bottom picture shows me emerging at the other end). We were told the tunnels were increased in width by 50% twice to accommodate the fatter (read: obese) tourists—I already felt rather crammed (and extremely hot and bothered) in it, I really cannot imagine what the Viet Congs went through when the width of the real tunnels was a fraction of what I experienced.

These were the various traps the National Liberal Front used to ensnare its enemies. It is easy to look at them now as museum pieces but if you tried to imagine how they must have been effectively put to use, it does get kind of disturbing.

I have always thought that only those foreigners who did not go through army training can get so caught up and fascinated with guns and gun-firing. Big freaking deal! I have fired 25mm cannons and all sorts of small to heavy arms including RPGs and grenade launchers and I can no longer see them as nothing more than a chore to carry, install, maintain and store. But still hordes and hordes of silly tourists forked out great sums of money (US$2 for a single bullet!) at the Cu Chi Tunnels to fire a handful of weapons that were being offered. And don’t even get me started on America’s view of an example of a basic human right a.k.a. the right to bear arms.

The video below shows part of my 100m tunnel-walk and how claustrophobic and uncomfortable it was. Imagine having to carry weapons and army gear and still managing to traverse at light speeds in them—what a feat!

The last installment of my time in Vietnam will be posted in another few days’ time and I must say it can get quite taxing blogging vacation pictures especially when you must select the more interesting ones, edit them and think of witty captions!

The month away (part 5)

2011-08-02T08:41:00.005+10:00

I will dedicate the next three posts to my Vietnamese trip to Ho Chi Minh City. The words that best describe the city would be pandemonic (traffic-wise), dirty (dust-wise) and expensive (everything-wise!). To be able to cross the road without your heart jumping out of its cavity would be sheer luxury and to spot a traffic light would be equivalent to finding gold in a trash can. The number of motorbikes and scooters were just phenomenal and this rhythmic and structured chaos itself could very well be one of the wonders of the world!

Also, for such an under-developed country with such an under-developed tourist industry, to be charging everyone in US dollars is just insane! At a tourist trap shop, I found a 2-kg bag of roasted cashew nuts selling at US$24! Too bad I forgot to take a picture of that. Well, I did take a lot of other pictures that are just as eye-opening so enjoy these shots fresh from the picture book of my Vietnam travels.

Structured Chaos

There are a lot of such Vietnamese shop names that will appear funny to English speakers. I also saw one called “Hung Kim” but I was on a cab then and didn’t manage to take a picture of it in time.

I first saw this picture in a pho restaurant in Melbourne and was feeling a tad strange that a US president would go all the way to Australia to eat Vietnamese food. I finally realised in this trip that that was the Melbourne branch and here I was at the HQ—in Vietnam!

The spread of the Singapore brand. Given how poor the country is, the very highly-priced NUM clothes (even in Vietnam) would certainly be out of a lot of the locals’ reach. No wonder the shop was totally deserted that night. It makes you wonder who the target consumer group is…

An outright safety-violation according to Australian standards but when the combination of efficiency and poverty rules the day, safety is always the first thing out the window.

These were items on sale in Ho Chi Minh City’s version of Sydney’s Paddy’s Market called Ben Thanh Market. Top left: fresh lotus pods (I have never seen them sold like that before). Top right: I would assume those were pig hearts (if someone told me they were human hearts, I would believe him—they were just the right size!). Bottom left: The liquid bottled with the arachnids was not tea (Duh! Misleading signs though). Bottom right: There’s nothing special with these longans except if you compare the size of one with the man’s hand, you will see that these longans were huge!

I bought this bag at Ben Thanh Market as I promised my mum I would bring something back for her and she wanted only bags (and I bought two for her). She really loved this when I showed it to her, which always makes me happy knowing that something I bought would be put to good use by someone else.

We were at this café specially- and favourably-mentioned in Lonely Planet but were sorely disappointed at the variety of ice-cream and the cleanliness of the water served. We have had so many instances when Lonely Planet recommended sucky food places. You know why? The Vietnamese edition of that book was written by darn Caucasians! So next time you read Lonely Planet, be sure to also check whether or not there are some local writers included (it is like judging the quality of an Asian restaurant by the ethnicity of the clientele).

Slices of Aussie life in Vietnam. Don’t you find the last line of the travel ad a little curious? What makes an “Aussie Tour” Aussie in Vietnam?

This is the right-smack-in-the-city-centre park a la Central Park in Manhattan and Hyde Park in London except the weather is stinking hot and humid. Throughout the day you would see lots of people (more so than say in Singapore) in various recreational activities utilising the park to the fullest. I think this is one of the characteristics of a poor country—you don’t need to pay to use a park.

Talk about good service—tourists being given foot massages while ordering food at a restaurant.

The messy wire phenomenon again—another characteristic of a developing country. Again, I cannot criticise this because there were Wi-Fi hotspots everywhere we went to in Ho Chi Minh City which makes yet another third-world country better-wired than first-world Australia.

Animal encounter #1—Though gentle, the size of this beast (water buffalo) still scared me a little.

The best way to cool down in this numbing heat is to jump into the river—whole-family style. I would do so too if I lived there!

The video below shows the famous water puppet show. If there are no rules regarding flash photography and video-taking, you can be sure that people will do it. For a second we did wonder how the puppets were controlled but gave up after a while because we knew it would be revealed at the end of the song and it indeed was. There was really nothing else to shout about except for the respite we got from the heat in the air-conditioned theatre.

In the following clip you can listen to some traditional Vietnamese folk-singing. There were three singers that afternoon but I thought this one had the most authentic voice. I also liked the musical instrument used—the one with a single metallic string with tautness adjusted for pitch-variance using a flexible rod. What is the name of that instrument I wonder?

Stay tuned for more Ho Chin Minh City!

Musical journey (15)

2011-07-28T05:42:00.005+10:00

One really happy thing that happened during my trip back home was the chance to meet my best girlfriend’s love-of-her-life. More importantly, I got to feel how happy she was because of him and the relationship. Cliché as this may sound, I am really very happy for her (of course, it gets even better when he really likes me too). Have you realised that I have used the word "happy" three times in the previous three sentences? That surely must say something especially when I so rarely do that!

Anyway I predict wedding bells will ring soon for those two and so I have already told my girlfriend in advance what the dates are to avoid because I would not be able to take leave due to work commitments (do you think I would lack the foresight to not think of that?). I am going to be the best man you know–my first-ever opportunity and I absolutely cannot miss it (and screw that up)! I know I am so jumping the gun right now but there is no stopping something that is so right and so meant-to-be (you should see them together!).

Another big reason why I am so happy for my dear friend is that she has gone through several shitty relationships and so it’s high time she gets the bliss she deserves. Ancient dead-and-buried history it might be now, it did bring some hardship back then and this month’s musical journey documents part of that. I shall not go into those private details here so I will just let you get a feel through this song.

[爱。感冒]

/ 词：美莲 / 曲：锦泉 /

冷空气弥漫下过雨的街道
咖啡厅里我们沉默的礼貌
捧在手中热咖啡渐渐冷掉
你我的心也彼此失去依靠

原来爱情也会患上重感冒
敏感过头谁也没办法治疗
谁也知道挽回不是一种解药
需要隔离疗伤才能完全见效

迷失于爱情中的喧闹
我们认识有多少
以为瞬间浪漫的味道
就是通往幸福的机票

爱的重感冒越来越糟
牵手却感觉不到
浪费你我的一分一秒
还不如把手放开最好

[Love. Sick]

The cold air permeates the streets that have just been showered upon
As our passionless silence spreads in this cafe
The cup of coffee in my hands slowly grows cold
Our hearts can no longer depend on each other

I didn’t know that love can actually fall sick
Being overly-sensitive is an incurable illness
Everyone can see that trying to rekindle what’s been lost is not the cure
Because there can only be a full recuperation if we quarantine ourselves from each other

Lost in the hustle and bustle of love
We forgot to consider how little we knew each other
A fleeting taste of romance
Is not the same as a ticket to happiness

Our ailing love is worsening
As I can no longer feel anything holding your hand
Instead of wasting each other’s time
It would be for the best if we both let go

PS: I wonder if she will do the same thing for me and take a trip down under when the time comes...

The month away (part 4)

2011-07-22T07:33:00.004+10:00

What makes my trips trip back home worth the time and money is always the people–my close friends and family. I have always asserted that one does not need many friends in life and indeed I do not have many friends. The cliché “it is the quality that counts” rings especially true in this regard–I have a handful of close friends and that is all I need. I would rather have an in-depth knowledge of all of them than having a bunch of hi-and-bye drinking buddies whom I do not care much about. If that makes me anti-social then I sure am.

In this post, I will share with you some (not all) of the people that mean a lot to me–they are the ones whom I will not fail to catch up with whenever I make the trip back home. If you are not in these pictures, it is only because I was not organised enough to take a picture with you.

Friends and Family

The effort (arduous as always!) to organise such a large outing was worth it to see my faithful group of friends from my days singing at Ark again. It was really the love for music and performing that brought us together but when the Ark stints ended, we still kept the friendship warm and fuzzy. I think we should get together for a reunion concert!

Either that's a bread roll or these two guys were really doing it for me...

I met up with another friend from Ark separately–it was difficult to ask a married-with-kids woman out for more reasons than one.

My dear friend with me at Universal Studios. We had such a fun-filled day! Love you girl!

My housemate for one and a half years when we were living in New Jersey back in 2003 - 2004. She is getting married later this year.

My ex-colleagues and their significant others. It was a shame I did not get to catch up with the rest–we used to have SO much fun together driving around in a small car–those were the days.

I finally got to meet my sister’s boyfriend. We originally planned to meet up in Bangkok but things did not work out timing-wise. My niece is all grown-up now–I still remember when she was a chubby baby! And isn’t my mum pretty?

Having a relaxed coffee and spending some quality time with my mum, which was something we did quite a lot when I was back. Now that we are living apart, we have grown so much closer (no more petty squabbling). I am glad that she is coping well with diabetes–my mum is an ultra-strong woman! This picture was a DIY-shot taken during our regretful day trip to Johore Bahru.

Ah. My trusty photographer whom I always have a date with whenever I go home. He is now in Hong Kong shooting more hot guys I bet. I can’t wait to see my new pictures from him!

My Vietnam travelling-buddy whom I knew way back in high school (more than 16 years ago now. Gosh!). We organised this last minute trip when catching up over tea one night. This picture was taken during our trip to Mekong Delta–I will be blogging about my entire Vietnam trip very soon.

This is an anatomically-correct replica so he (not my friend of course) is indeed not very tall. This was taken at Madame Tussauds in Bangkok.

The love of my dear friend’s life. She formally changed her relationship status on Facebook this week so the hots she has for this guy must be huge. I am so happy for both of them that I know this will not be the last you’ll hear from me waxing lyrical over how this match was made in heaven.

The friends who sent me off at the airport. I had another two buddies (a couple) who were there too but pity I didn’t take a picture with them (why oh why). It was so nice catching up with those lovebirds too.

So it is another one or two years before I see all of you again, my friends and family. Take care of yourselves and each other in the meantime and we shall make a date soon.

The month away (part 3)

2011-07-16T10:18:00.008+10:00

The last time I was back in Singapore was in January last year and since then, things have apparently gotten so much more expensive and with the worsening overcrowding problem and the weather that I am no longer used to after staying in Sydney for some time, I really felt like I had enough towards the end of my stay. But still there were many enjoyable bits and I encountered many new things, which is always a nice thing. Here is a slice of that experience I call home.

Uniquely Singapore

Using a standard can drink for comparison, here is an idea of the small portion-sizes available for snacks in Singapore. I always believe that one of the biggest culprits of Western obesity is the huge food portions (the more unhealthy the food is, the larger the portion!). If smaller portions were available, perhaps we will have more BMI-compliant inhabitants on this planet.

This is a curious liqueur store I came across during one of my aimless wanderings in the shopping district. It is funny that in a country like Australia with one of the highest alcohol-abuse rates in the world, there isn’t a shop like this here in Sydney. I guess alcohol is marketed here not so much as a specialty product but more as a common necessity like any other grocery item.

There is nothing too interesting in this picture except for the blatant nature of it all. FYI, this street is famous for its many transvestite prostitutes and brothels. I am also assuming that here they understand what is meant by "hookers".

I had to capture this shot as one of the guys on the banner is my friend. This supermarket is famous for its cheap-because-you-buy-in-bulk feature ie. a chain that tends to not evoke a sense of sophistication in people. In that regard, I feel a little sorry for my friend.

The label says it all. These meringues are twice as large as a fist–who eats those? A single bite would already be too sweet and too much for me. By the way, I was not allowed to take that picture but I am not one who follows stupid rules.

The former French Embassy abandoned only for a few years, which was all it took to degrade a perfect historically-significant building to such a state in the wet hellish Singaporean climate. This would be SUCH a good shoot location but alas my photographer didn’t like the “haunted house” notoriety that came along with it.

For the first time in my life, I visited the Raffles Hotel museum (one of those touristy things that you only do when friends come to visit–in this case, I was accompanying my Sydney friends visiting Singapore–so was I a host or a tourist?) and this circa 1933 letter caught my attention. In case you are unaware, when I was living in the States back in 2004, people thought that Singapore was part of China as well so this is an alive-and-kicking phenomenon of at least 70 years old.

Dumplings in 8 flavours and colours–a visual and gastronomical orgasm even for the lay person. I can only imagine what this menu item would do to Ision, a dumpling connoisseur and fanatic. They should bring this to Australia–I want to see his expression when the dumplings are brought to the table and his mouth!

Singapore is well-known for its many fines and signs but this is the first time I have seen this one. I guess the dog-rearing culture is maturing thus making dog poo a problem only now. I see many inconsiderate people not cleaning after their pets even in Sydney so this problem is indeed a pesky and global one.

It was the thick of the election season and I was in the nation's favourite constituency (on the side of the opposition). The huge permanent banner-attaching fixture in the background was reserved only for the ruling party and the opposition was relegated to whatever space available. But as predicted, despite the odds of dirty politics stacked against them, the opposition emerged victorious and left two ministers out of a job (YAY). We need as many opposing voices as we can garner in the government in order to keep the increasingly-complacent and -arrogant ruling party in check. The inset shows the aftermath of the elections–propaganda posters taken down from the abundant notice boards littered throughout the housing estate meant only for the ruling party. By the way the opposition won without my help at all as I was in Bangkok on polling day (well I tried and went to the Embassy but Thailand is too small to have an overseas polling station).

This is the first time I have seen something like that–wake-boarding without a boat pulling the boarder. I think it is rather ingenious to use motorised cables as the required pulling force.

To randomly run into a vehicle with such a bumper sticker ad, there must be a huge-enough demand and market for such services. We all know that cheating cuts across all ethnicities and geographical areas but maybe Singaporean spouses are more bitter than the rest and want to catch their cheating counterparts in action more desperately? Well go on to that website to find out more (it looks really professional and globally-connected)!

This was taken at a small wine bar in the posh district of Singapore where the rich (and the wannabes) congregate. I was so shocked that they could actually find a wine to pair with food as strong and overpowering in taste as rojak. Anyway all menu items have their accompanying wines so I am not sure how much thought had been put into the recommendations.

The pride of joy of money-hungry Singapore masked by a veneer of posh interiors and upmarket shops. Though over-the-top at times, there are easily-observable typical traits all casinos in the world have–ATMs just outside of the entrance (and I bet plenty more inside). Incidentally there is only a Chinese translation for the word “casino” on all the signages–no prizes here for guessing where the major clientele comes from.

The rules of entry into the casino. Singapore must insist on being the first in everything–I think this is the first casino in the world where the local citizenry has to pay a $100 entrance fee (to curb gambling problems in the country) whilst the poorest-of-the-poor foreign labourers can (and they do) go in at no charge. Social engineering a la Singapore at its best!

I stupidly went north of the border with my Mum for a day-trip over the Vesak Day long weekend only to discover that the Malaysian customs even more stupidly chose that peak period to introduce their new biometric passport system. As a result of this brainless decision, the checkpoint saw unprecedented queues–we had to stand in line for more than three hours! Luckily there was air-conditioning but still it was bad enough that someone actually went into a seizure (!) just from queuing. Never again would I go there without an assurance that this will never happen again–what one can find there is just not worth it!

I am sure Japan and many other Asian countries have more high-tech toilets but this is yet another thing that I have seen for the first time in my home country! How great is technology?! The video below shows how the wash-your-anus stick shoots out when a button is pressed. Amazing!

The next video below shows how a long and heavy flexible pipe section was craned up more than 13 storeys in such a tight space. I must say that I am quite impressed with how clever people can get when faced with unique challenges.

On the last night in Singapore at the airport, I had a nasty shock when I learnt that "00:30 21 May 2011" on a flight itinerary means that you had to check in on the night of 20 May, not on the night after! I actually had missed my flight! I must thank my lucky stars that there were still vacant seats on the flight that very night and that I was offered one at no extra charge! Everyone gets a lucky break like that from time to time so I wonder after cashing that in, when will I next get something as great as that?

The month away (part 2)

2011-07-10T09:42:00.013+10:00

I used to make annual or at least bi-annual pilgrimages to Bangkok (the last trip being more than four years ago when the greatly-convenient airport-express train service was still non-existent) because of how much I love that place. The oh-so-delicious street food, the very cheap and good massages as well the chance to buy to my heart's delight tons of unique clothes that sell in Sydney (imported from Thailand) at a 600% mark-up. Although it is summer clothing and I cannot wear it now, come summer at the end of this year I will have a rocking new wardrobe.

I wanted this trip to be totally free-and-easy with a planned-but-not-strict itinerary (the only requirement was to have a different kind of massage every day). I wanted to do absolutely nothing that stresses me. Of course there were elements that did not work that way namely the reverse-racism at the gay saunas (hot Thais going straight for the below-average Caucasians just because they were so rare and totally ignoring and rejecting the hottest Asians around like me), the humidly-scorching weather (which gave me heat rashes at places where more post-shoot Photoshop would be required, not to mention the much-worse itch and irritation) and a bout of stomach upset at the end of the trip (which I never had in my previous visits even with the street food and tap water). But all in all, it was a greatly-satisfying 8-day stay and I hope the pictures can convey some of the reasons why I keep going back to this wonderful city.

The Land of Smiles

This shot was taken on board the Chao Phraya River Express. I don’t know whether you would call this a slum area but the living condition in some of these places did look rather squalid from the outside.

The markets at Chinatown. It sounded interesting when I researched the place online but when I got there, it wasn’t really so but still it was one of the less touristy places in Bangkok where I could get a slice of the more authentic Thai way of living.

My first shopping stop was Khaosan Road. Though not as cheap as the claustrophobic Chatuchak Weekend Market (another must-visit pit-stop), it does sell some things that you don’t get there. It was a hellishly-hot day and in case you need to know, I wasn’t the only topless one there (but certainly one of the better bodies around, hehe).

What do you think the first icon meant? No rams or some kind of imaginary creature on board the cab? And look at the third one–surely it must have happened so many times that a rule must be set to curb that. Well, Thais are ultimately still conservatives who "tolerate" liberal tourist-behaviour because not only are they a friendly people, they are also acutely-aware of the importance of tourist dollars.

“Miss Puke”? Can’t this massage parlour get a better name? Or is “puke” Thai for “pretty” or something? I don’t think so.

One of the Thai-est places I visited was the Taling Chan Floating Market as I purposely avoided the larger and shamelessly more touristy Damnoen Saduak. On the right you can see this strange fruit on sale that I cannot identify (some kind of apple-plum cross-breed?).

Food cooked right in front of you on boats–it is something everyone should experience. I was there early in the morning when it was not as crowded but people started pouring in from 11am onwards.

Here was where I had my sumptuous lunch at Taling Chan. I placed my bag on the visibly dry floor only to discover that it got soaked as the wave beneath the “floor” pushed water up the cracks between the metal plates. Well, it is a floating market after all.

A very common sight in Bangkok is monks and of course you will see signs like this on public transport. One other thing that I rediscovered during this trip was the fact that a song celebrating the king is always played before the start of a show in the cinema (I wonder if this happens in plays and musicals as well) and everyone must stand up. The king is an extremely well-liked and -respected figure in the country (and lèse majesté immediately springs into mind).

This messy wire phenomenon is something I consistently see in developing countries. I am surprised they don’t cause any electrical or signalling problems. But who am I to say anything bad about this when Bangkok is getting better and faster broadband than in Sydney!

It was another hot and humid night in Bangkok at 33ºC or so and I was street-dining, something I love to death. Sitting in front of me was this woman wearing three layers in this deadly heat (T-shirt, polo shirt, long-sleeved denim jacket). Three?! Was she crazy or what? This never fails to amaze me.

The most touristy thing I did in this trip was to drop by the Grand Palace, which surprisingly was my first time ever. As palaces go, everything had to be over-the-top. From a distance, I thought the gold walls were indeed made of gold but on closer inspection, I realised I was really silly to think that in the first place.

There is this Buddha statue where visitors pay a fee to stick a small piece of gold foil on it most likely to receive blessing or good fortune in return. There was a lot of loose foils that fell onto the ground–pity I couldn’t amass more…

Another avenue people had to seek blessing–dipping a lotus bud in a large vat of water and then then placing it on the head. I thought it was an interesting sight.

There was very strict uniform-policing at the palace where a guard very alertly barked at dress code-violators as they entered the grounds. I knew this beforehand but still wore forbidden clothes friendlier to the unholy weather and only later put on more conservative clothing which was available for hire at the entrance. I thought the sign was really effective in communicating its intended message.

R.I.P. slippers (15/06/2007 – 10/05/2011). We had some really comfortable times but I finally had to let you go because you got too old and I got a new sexier pair. I will miss you dearly and you will always be fondly remembered…

The video below was taken on board a tuk tuk at night when traffic laws could be bent a bit more than usual. I have ridden on tuk tuks before but never at night so this was a new experience. With the wind in my hair in the relentless summer heat, it certainly was the perfect way to end the night.

I barely missed Songkran because of work commitments, which was something I really wanted to do (next trip perhaps) but judging from what others told me, I think the constantly-getting-wet-without-people-leaving-you-alone-even-for-a-single-minute feature of the festival would get a little tiring a little too quickly. But hey, that would give me the perfect reason to be in nothing more than a tiny pair of hot shorts everywhere I go–that would certainly add a cherry to any cake of a trip.

The month away (part 1)

2011-07-04T19:45:00.014+10:00

In the second half of April, I took a break from the frustrations of work and spent a month away from Sydney and it is only now that I finally got around to tidying up all the pictures. I will not write a lot of words telling you how those 31 days flew by as I know people like pictures and ultimately they still beat words 1000 to 1.

Universal Studios

I got to be a total tourist with two of my girlfriends for a day at Singapore's Universal Studios. It was surprisngly well done-up and with a 20% credit card-discounted entrance fee and only one ride (Madagascar) not opened, I thought it was a really good day trip!

Universal Studio had many cash cows under its name and Jurassic Park was one of them. The rides in this section of the theme park were the most boring (one of which thoroughly drenched me from head to toe) but of course a photo-op like this makes up for all the inadequacies.

One of my friends did not dare to go on the more thrilling rides (ie. the majority of them) and so we did some of those meant more for children who failed minimum height requirements. I really appreciated her for accompanying me as she had to sit out the reason why people go to Universal Studios in the first place.

The best ride of all. This ride was split into two lines, one suspended and one not. The suspended one was so much more exhilarating especially the double-revese-loop-through-thick-mist part. Fortunately I had a special pass that allowed me to cut the queue altogether. Boy! The queues were long and it wasn't even the weekend or school holidays!

The top picture features the sound stage where a special effect scene of a category 5 storm in Manhattan was simulated whilst a musical containing all the favourite movie monsters like Frankenstein and Dracula is shown in the bottom picture. Well no photography was permitted in both locations but...

This was "The Mummy" theme park which had the most entertaining (ie. scary) indoor roller-coaster ride of all. Ision said I would grab all opportunities to show my biceps off. Yes, I unashamedly admit to that.

I am not sure what the proper name of this pose is (if anyone knows please kindly tell me) but it sure is popular. This picture was not taken within Universal Studios but outside of it (in front of a huge candy shop).

A repeat of the same pose. I cannot remember what the theme was for this part of Sentosa's biggest tourist attraction but I thought it called for such a pose.

My best girlfriend told me that this both-hands-in-the-pocket pose made me look very straight and I shall take that as a compliment. This picture best showed the theme park in all its touristy glory.

"Far Far Away" as in Shrek, another cash cow of Universal Studios. Pity the movie lost all its appeal from the second sequel onwards. And like all cash cows, it had to be wrung till no more juice came out of it (the last installment truly sucked). By the way it was really hard to avoid other people in all of these pictures so kudos to the photographer (after many tries of course).

One of the stationary "rides". Well, sort of.

Universal Studios from different angles. The top right picture was the sci-fi section of the theme park. The best ride I mentioned above is from this section and it featured the Battlestar Galactica storyline.

Do you really think that I would miss out on baring my body in a crowded public place? You must be out of your mind. At least there were two good reasons for doing that (the ultra hot and humid weather being one of them).

And so this concludes part one of a series of posts detailing my 31 days of rest, fun and catching up with friends and family which included 2 overseas trips and 7 photo shoots. So stay tuned for more!

Musical journey (14)

2011-06-30T18:24:00.002+10:00

Before I amassed all the confidence I have now to bare all in front of the camera countless times and seize every chance I have to perform on the stage, I went through a period of identity-crisis. Although every one goes through this phase during their adolescent years, this problem poses itself in more layers for homosexuals and sufferers need to dig deeper into themselves to attain that harmony with who they really are, what they can and cannot achieve and be contented with the outcome, whatever it may be.

I recently watched Oprah's farewell show and something she said hit me. Oprah said every single person in this world seeks validation and wants to be heard, be it the richest, most famous person down to the homeless and destitute. That is so very true and relevant as well to an identity-crisis. We all need to know that we are worth something and we have to rely not only on ourselves but on others to give us that validation.

And that was the source of all the pain during my battle with living as a gay person, coming out and just being comfortable in my own body–I relied only on myself to think through and rationalise all doubts and insecurities (that was also largely due to me being left alone in my family for most of my growing-up years as every one was busy making ends meet). If I had someone to validate me then I think my fight would have been much shorter and easier. But then again I rationalise (I like doing that if you do not yet know) that long-drawn war as a huge character-building lesson, something that made me the strong and secure person I am today. Moreover without that exact experience, I would risk not turning out gay (GASP!) and instead be a boring-as-hell hetero doing all the mundane hetero stuff like raising kids in loveless marriages. I shudder at that thought.

Once in a while, we need to look back at our past and see how far we have come along, when we can take a moment to reflect on what went right and think of how we can do better in the future and only then can we take the next step with a sure spirit. In this month's musical journey, I look back at one of the more representative songs written during my coming-out years in which I poured my heart out, expressed all my angst and vented in vain, lamenting how we were all taught lies about fairy tales as kids only to grow up to find out that real life couldn't be farther from that. Through my voice, I hope you can hear the suffering and the helplessness that once almost drowned me.

[哭]

/词 / 曲: 锦泉/

白雪公主的王子
最终在她身边
最丑怪的小鸭
也有漂亮的一天
美女与那野兽
竟然能相恋
你就相信这一切

卖火柴的女孩
可以说是最可怜
但最后上了天堂
还是露出了笑脸
故事听了几遍
你到底厌不厌
难道你还不知
这全都是谎言

从小我们都被灌输了完美结局的概念
只有长大后自己才发现全是欺骗
不是每个故事都划上美丽的句点
悲剧上演一遍又一遍

若这世界是公平的我就不用夜夜哭着入眠
多希望能回到纯真的从前
听完一个故事然后进入美梦里面
向天叹口气又过了一天

[Cry]

Snow White's prince comes to her side in the end
The ugliest duckling becomes pretty one day
Even beauty and the beast can fall in love
And to think that we believed in all of that

The little matchstick girl though led a wretched life
Still ended up in heaven with a smile on her face
How many times can you hear these stories before you get sick of them?
Why can't you see that they are nothing but lies?

We have been taught the idea that all things in life come with a happy ending
Only to grow up and discover that we have all been denied the truth

Not every story ends beautifully
In fact they play out as tragedies over and over again

If this world were fair I wouldn't have to cry myself to sleep every night
How I wish I could go back to the innocent past
When the land of sweet dreams comes after bedtime stories
But all I can do now is to heave a sigh into the air

And there goes another day

3 revolutions around the sun

2011-06-21T19:55:00.004+10:00

On this day three years ago, I was lugging all my bags through customs and in the sea of people at the gate, I saw a face, a face that I have only seen for the third time then and a face that I cannot live without today. As I set foot on this strange yet familiar ground on 21st June 2008, I have begun The Next Phase of my life in Sydney Australia.

Though time flew by quickly, I have since established myself in the workforce, built a solid relationship with my partner, got published in the top gay magazine around here, made some really good friends and already formulating plans for my next relocation. There were ups and downs along the way and looking back, I think I have accomplished quite a bit in these short years. As icing on the cake, I was featured as "Mr. Friday" this week in the "Hottest Members" newsletter of one gay dating site. That is a far cry from being attacked by racism on another site not too long ago. Yes, there were ups and downs.

As I look forward to my next three years, I shall fondly remember all the experiences of the past three. Although I will always call Singapore my home, Australia is where I belong now. This is the place where I can explore everything life has to offer and truly flourish. And indeed I have.

Fight on Singapore!

2011-06-18T10:09:00.005+10:00

Today is Pink Dot 2011 which is taking place at 5pm in Singapore's Hong Lim Park. It is Singapore's unique version of the fight for gay equality, the freedom to love and just being who you are. In this tiny red dot of a developed nation, things like that are best tackled with baby steps as human rights are only taken off the "denied-list" at glacial speeds if there is no economic bonus to providing that basic dignity, a simple no-brainer move in many other developed countries.

I could have attended Pink Dot 2011 should it have been in May like the previous years but I guess I can only send my moral support from wintry Sydney again just like before. I am fortunate to be living in a country more progressive than Singapore in terms of human rights but I will never take that for granted. We have to be ever-vigilant in guarding what we have because all it takes is one religious fundamentalist to take control of the government to end all this. In Australia, our current battle is for gay marriage but at the end of the day the fight is essentially the same ie. taking back what society has owed us for generations.

So fight on Singapore, I am so proud of all of you! Oh, and I will be wearing pink today.

Back to Carriage Works (3)

2011-06-15T07:38:00.003+10:00

Here you go, the last of the series. I am tempted to say that I have exhausted Carriage Works but I have a feeling I will go back again for it is so near and convenient (just a stone's throw from Redfern train station). In fact I have done yet another session at this fabulous location so stay tuned for more pictures from that and my many, many other shoots!

Back to Carriage Works (2)

2011-06-08T08:02:00.001+10:00

Here is the second part of my shoot in this superb location. Though some sneaking-through-the-hole-in-the-fence is necessary, the many photographically-interesting spots in the huge area makes it all worthwhile. Enjoy.

Back to Carriage Works (1)

2011-06-01T07:43:00.000+10:00

One of the really good locations I have been shot at is Carriage Works in Redern and I know a lot of other people have had their best captured there too. Here is one of those series that I am really happy with–the location, the photographer, the lighting, the editing, everything! I also realise that I have done a lot of shoots recently (4 in Bangkok and 3 in Singapore) and there will be a whole lot of pictures that I will be blogging so let's quickly get the show started with this first one out of three posts of this series.

The right to bare

2011-05-23T18:14:00.004+10:00

Do you want people to be honest to you? Do you want to be open to the people who matter to you? If you answered “yes” to both questions and are ready to take action to realise those wants then you are one step closer to being a nudist. Since we also know that hidden agenda, dishonesty and close-mindedness are always perceived as negative, this means that anything that promotes the opposite would be something positive. If you agree with this then you would have taken another step towards naturism.

At this juncture you would be met with your one and only true obstacle on your path to falling in love with being one with nature–body (and self-esteem) issues. Have you wondered why the advice of picturing your speech audience naked became common? When one is naked in the presence of a fully-clothed person, the former is immediately confronted with a sense of insecurity. This puts the clothed person in a superior and more confident position and this is the psychological advantage you have over your naked audience as a public speaker. However if we can move beyond issues of insecurity, then we would all be on equal standing and see eye-to-eye. This is the only condition under which people can interact with total no-holds-barred openness. Of course I understand that we all have the right to choose our beliefs in life but in my opinion to close oneself to the idea of naturism completely and not look into the “why” of it all is not the right thing to do.

I have always thought that every single person on this planet is either a nudist or a closeted nudist, with the latter unfortunately plagued by body issues, which is a problem to most people, even very well-adjusted and secure ones. However the size and root cause of that problem differ between individuals. I used to have serious body issues ever since I hit puberty till about six years ago. I did not like to look at myself in the mirror and would try hard not to walk pass any place that had one. In the stifling heat of Singapore, I would sleep fully-clothed with underwear as I would rather die than let someone see my naked body. I think the insecurity started even before puberty as I was a late-bloomer and always envied other post-pubescent boys. Also I had a typical traditional Asian upbringing when I was made to feel bad about my looks and body–I am still unsure why parents do that despite loving their children–perhaps it is to desexualise our existence to protect us from predators? Needless to say this desexualisation made body issues even worse amongst Asians, especially gay Asians (when gay culture puts body image and aesthetics high up on the ever-unreachable pedestal).

Then one day a gay friend who has progressed much further along the path of self-acceptance gave me a piece of advice that changed my life. He said an abundance of inner beauty is essentially useless if one had no outer beauty because nobody would be attracted enough to want to get to know that inner beauty. At that time, I was still clinging on to my high-horse even though I was face-down in dirt on the ground for I thought it would be too superficial for me to beautify myself just to get a partner (how foolish I was back then). That piece of advice jolted me off the ground and into the gym where I spent the next few years building up the body I have right now. Boy, if you ask me to choose between being an extreme narcissist or an extreme self-hater, I would gladly choose the former (not that I am there yet). Gradually as I got the much-needed affirmation from the gay community because of my body, I grew from a person laden with self-esteem issues to one who actively seeks opportunities to bare all in front of the camera. Pretty drastic isn’t it? But I am darn proud of myself for what I have achieved.

So that was the story of how I overcame my body issues. The point of sharing that is to show that with a mindset-shift, every person in this world can change for the better despite how dire the situation is. To me, the biggest and most “justified” reason against naturism is body issues. The other minor things I can think of that naysayers often have in mind (other than the obvious reason of it being illegal in most countries) when the topic comes up are listed as follows:

1) Sense of shame–this is slightly more entrenched than body issues (though both are related) and often steeped in religious dogma (think Adam and Eve post-Eden).

2) Nudist events are always very sexualised yet that element is always downplayed to gain more support for naturism ie. nudists are hypocrites as well.

3) For people who can only associate nude bodies with sex, taboo regarding all things related to sex becomes a stumbling block.

4) Males tend to worry that they would spot erections when sexual stimuli is in sight.

5) Usually out-of-shape and old people are seen at nudist events, which is unsightly to some.

6) Taboo surrounding nude children in family events.

Now I will provide my thoughts on the above-mentioned points:

1) Though entrenched, this is minor compared to body issues because most countries in this world are secular ie. church being separate from state. This means that religious dogma holds no weight in any argument that concerns laws of countries. You need more than religion to outlaw naturism. And since when did it become right for the word “shame” to be something people wear proudly as a badge? Isn’t “shame” supposed to be a negative trait?

2) I agree that nudist events are often sexualised especially ones organised by gay men. To me, sex is not taboo and is as common a need as eating or drinking. I am against nudists being hypocritical about the sexual element for I think we should embrace it as part and parcel of any event–sex can happen anywhere and straight and gay people alike have it all the time. However I can understand why not promoting the sex part might go down smoother with anti-nudists.

3) For those who cannot dissociate in their minds being nude around other people from actually having sex with them then I think there is something wrong with them, not the nudists. As for sexual taboo, it is their loss because they are the ones having less sex and I daresay worse sex when they DO have sex.

4) Theoretically in mixed-gender events, the etiquette dictates that the aroused male should move away from the opposite sex until said arousal has died down. Well in the gay world this is certainly not a problem because men know that other men think of sex a lot–it is only women who see this as a problem and frankly I do not really care for their sensibilities. You just cannot please everyone in life.

5) To a lot of people, getting rid of all body issues and fully accepting themselves can take a lot of time. This could explain why a lot of younger people are not into naturism because they simply need more time to evolve, which means that there tends to be more older folks present at nudist events. However this should not be an issue because once you have developed to a stage of complete self-acceptance, you would be able to truly accept other people for who they are. This is one of the main reasons why people become nudists and I feel that the world can most certainly do with more acceptance right now.

6) The naked children-taboo is a tricky one and I know that rules have been created to safeguard against child-molestation eg. kids-only places for certain hours of the day. Frankly, this is really not my concern because as parents, you are responsible for your own kids. If they get molested when coming home from school alone, who can the parents blame besides themselves (for a lack of supervision)? So if parents bring their kids to nudist events then they are to be held responsible if anything happens. I do advocate an adult-only world of naturism if it is up to me so that things would be much simpler. And oh, if I already do not care about the sensibilities of women, I would care even less about this child thing (an advantage of having your own blog is that you need not be politically-correct on it).

I have a dear friend back in Singapore who happens to be a nudist. I was tempted initially to say “a nudist friend” but I realise that he is so much more than a nudist–he is a gay activist who is actively promoting gay acceptance, something not a lot of people are doing in Singapore. A lot of people mistake him for being ultra-liberal (as if that is a bad word) and over-sexed as he pushes for nudist rights (including the right to have designated spots for public sex like in Europe) alongside gay rights. But these people are all wrong for they fail to see that once the restraint of clothes gets removed (after the wearer has absolved himself from all body issues), what else can still stand between people, their interaction and their acceptance of one another? Wouldn’t that world be a better place where there is no more racism, homophobia and discrimination of any sort? I don’t know about you but that sounds like a perfect world to me. That is why I wholly understand what my friend is fighting for. More importantly we should all fight for the same thing!

By the way, another proponent of nudist rights in Sydney brought the battle to a whole new (political) level–if you think Singapore is not ready to promote naturism then I am not sure how this guy would fit into that narrow-minded picture. And they would certainly go crazy if they were to ever visit this gym or the French town of Cap d'Agde–I would want to visit that town at least once in my lifetime.

Well on a final note, I would like to re-iterate that I do understand that naturism is not everyone’s cup of tea but so is homosexuality–does it then mean that we should deny them rights or worse still make them criminals? I certainly applaud those responsible for the recent surge in public nudity cases in Singapore. Live and let live–that is how we make the world a better place. If I have even successfully fed you some food for thought with this post then I think I would sleep happy tonight.

Here are two pictures from the nudist events I have previously attended.

Leaving Fort Road Beach in Singapore after a free-and-easy afternoon

River Island Nature Retreat in Mittagong, NSW with my NUDU mates

Musical journey (13)

2011-05-06T01:50:00.002+10:00

5/6/7.

This is what I use to remember our anniversary date–we kind of got together on 6th May 2007 (ie. 5/6/7 in the American format). I said “kind of” because I was seeing someone else (M) back in Singapore around a month before that and it was not really working out with him. However I could not end it without really trying my best to make it work (that has always been my mantra) and so Ision was hanging on throughout that period, during which I frequently told him about my time with M and its struggles. Ision might deny this but I can clearly recall (and have the emails as evidence) him being really sad that we could not be a couple when I broke the news that I have decided to persevere on with M to him. He even wrote a poem expressing his dejection and overall state of mind during that time. That was the first and last time throughout our relationship that he has ever done that. It seems really incredulous now that I reflect on that whole episode–how upset he must have been at that time to do something that “out of his character”.

Of course that abusive thing with M died (it lasted for a month or so) and I was finally free to commit to Ision sometime around May 2007. There seemed to be a gap of about ten days between the last email indicating M and I were still together and the next email (dated 6th May 2007) clearly showing that Ision and I were a couple. I cannot recollect why there were no emails exchanged during those ten days and so we simply decided that the formal date we got together is 6th May 2007. A quick check of my trusty spreadsheet™ now throws up the formal breakup-with-M date to be 4th May 2007. I guess our anniversary could very well be on that date as I was so ready to move on immediately after that very doomed affair. But since 5/6/7 is so easy to remember, 5/6/7 it shall remain.

When I look back at the origins of us, both Ision and I really took a big risk in opening our hearts based on a long-distance thing. We all know that high risk investments = high returns and I must say in retrospect, I am glad I took that risk. We arranged to meet for the first time in August 2007 when I flew to Sydney. I gave him his half of the set of couple-rings as soon as we met (the rings that we are still wearing today) and the rest is history.

And it has been four years since 5/6/7 and it is time to celebrate our anniversary on this day. I wrote this song for Ision before I left for my vacation as I knew that I would not be with him physically today. He has not heard this song before like the rest of the world and so it is really exciting for me to release this demo here for this special occasion.

Ision, I don’t say this enough but I have grown to love (almost) every part of you down to your grumpiness and idiosyncrasies (amongst other flaws–hehe). When I come home from work, I want to see your face. When I go to bed, I want you to be beside me (so bad). When I am upset (or cold), I want you to cuddle me. When I want attention, I will make a silly noise to get some reaction from you. In fact, all those “wants” have slowly developed to become “needs” which is generally what happens when two people get so accustomed to one another.

Ision: What drugs are you on?
Kim: The drug of raaf.
Ision: BR!

If I am a junkie because of him, it would be an addiction I am happy to keep up. Why you may ask? Because he makes it so easy.

[Easy]

When you're next to me
All I want to do is breathe
Breathe you into me
And that is all I need

The world is strange
The world is cold
I can't face it
It makes me weak

But then you come and sit with me
When all I need is to breathe

Then I close my eyes
All I want to do is feel
Your big arms wrapped around me
How do you make it so easy
So easy

When you say something silly
That only we know what it means
Seeping into me
Love from these simple things

The world demands
The world denies
I don't care
It can't get to me

Without doing a thing

How do you make it so easy
So easy

Baby I know this will last forever baby
I do not use this word lightly
But I am happy

Four years it has been
Four years I've been smiling
Without doing a thing
How do you make it so
Without doing a thing
How do you make it so easy

Bibi, I love you. Happy fourth anniversary. I will be home in your arms soon.

Musical journey (12)

2011-04-20T10:21:00.005+10:00

Have you ever been in an off-and-on-again relationship? It is hard to be objective when you are knee-deep in this vicious cycle, not to mention stand back to look at the picture. Why do people repeatedly put themselves in harm’s way just to revive something that has reached a dead end?

This month’s musical journey gives us a glimpse of one of those reasons.

[孽缘]

/词 / 曲: 锦泉/

天亮
枕边没有你，温度下降到零下二十九点
发烫
泪水在脸颊蒸发了一整夜前早已流干啦

天暗
电话旁只有我在盼望听到你轻声说话
彷徨
时间把我冷冷地丢在一旁

受过伤，能让人长大一点
你说谎，怎么也不厌倦
团团转，我像个小孩在绕圈圈
一次又一次地
被你欺，被你哄，被你诈，被你骗

藕断了丝不连
何必浪费时间
去织成完整但又脆弱的感情线
不让往事重演
也许明天会过得好一点

你前世造的孽
要我偿还一切
多少次轮回我们才能不拖不欠
换得一身可怜
原来只需要那一次缠绵

回头草难以下咽
灌下的泪水太咸
到底是什么蒙着我的双眼
不懂爱要怎么戒
喝下的毒怎么解
我不想就这样
过一天算一天

[Fated to Sin]

Dawn breaks
The temperature beside me drops to minus twenty-nine in the bed without you
The tears that have seared my cheeks have long vaporised after flowing for an entire night

Night falls
Beside the phone, I am alone anticipating your whispers
Frantically afraid that time would heartlessly leave me behind

Hurt makes us grow
You never seem to get tired of lying
You spin me around like a little kid
As you repeatedly bully, coax and cheat

There is no point in wasting time and lingering around something that is broken
Just to build a seemingly complete but frail relationship
If I do not allow history to repeat itself
Maybe I can have a better tomorrow

Why do I need to repay the sins you have committed in your past lives
How many cycles of rebirth will it take for us to not owe each other anything anymore
All I want in exchange for all that wretchedness is another night of passion with you

It is too hard to look back and the tears are getting even harder to swallow
Yet I have no idea what is covering both my eyes
How can I quit this love and cure myself of the poison I drink
I refuse to continue living like this from day to day

I am literally about to open the apartment door and head for the airport, officially starting my month-long trip back home. The detailed itinerary has been set and I know I will have a very good break from work (and Australia). I will miss my bibi (very much) though. I will continue blogging whilst overseas so stay tuned for more of me!

Shrouded

2011-04-06T08:35:00.026+10:00

Work has been busy this month and I need to clear a lot of it before I go on my one-month break back to Singapore so this will just be a short post.

Back in February, my picture was showcased in an exhibition called “Shrouded” which featured men with different media shrouding them in various ways. Some were covered in powder and charcoal, some with drapes and netting and I was covered in silver paint from chest up. The shoot only lasted for less than an hour as the photographer knew exactly what he wanted and directed me to a series of fixed poses. Then I was sprayed with water to create a running-paint effect which I thought did not turn out very clearly in the final edits. Still the whole experience was interesting as I have not done something like that before. After the shoot, I kept the silver hair intact for a white party that same night and it looked fabulous.

I went to the opening of the exhibition with a few of my friends and my picture was well-received. The silver paint intrigued some as it was not totally obvious which part of the body was painted. I guess it achieved the intended sense of the “Shrouded” theme.

Here is the entire series with the last photograph being the one featured in the exhibition.

Musical journey (11)

2011-03-18T08:18:00.003+11:00

I am sure by now you have all seen the incredibly devastating clips and images from one of Japan's worst natural disasters. My heart goes out to all the people who have lost their loved ones in this tragic event. Here is a song dedicated to those whose lives will forever be changed by this earthquake and tsunami. I know this song is not in the correct language and is just a very raw demo but I still hope it can bring them as well as the brave souls in the rescue missions the fortitude that everyone so sorely needs right now. Look up, tomorrow is not far away.

[抬头望]

/词 / 曲: 锦泉/

天色昏暗，暂时看不到天亮
只看见你满面惆怅，更忘记了信仰
只要你心中持着希望，就一定能看见曙光
但这一刻你还是一脸沮丧

一片荒凉，摧残你所有梦想
改变了生命的方向，一切都给灭亡
但你要试着看透灰茫，活着就是一种力量
你别忘了还有我们在你身旁

伸出你双手让我们挽手共对抗
命运无情的安排怎么也不能阻挡
我们意志向着前方，踏出第一步放弃绝望
而你的步伐会更稳健，更坚强

张开你双眼让温暖涌进你心房
让它瞬间驱走风中那股淡淡的凄凉
我们斗志亢奋激昂，为的是让你重燃希望
只因为明天就在不远的地方

抬头望

[Look Up]

The sky is dark and grey and dawn is nowhere in sight
But I can still see the melancholy on your face
You have even forsaken your faith
Although you are still worn down by depression
All you need is to hold on to hope to see the light

The vast devastation evidences the destruction of all your dreams
It changes the direction of your life, annihilating everything
But you need to try to see through the bleakness
Because being alive is in itself a source of strength
Don't forget we are also all here by your side

If your reach out and let us combat this hand-in-hand
Cruel fate will not stand a chance to get in our way
When our will points forward as we step forth to abandon despair
Our strides will get steadier and stronger

Open your eyes and let warmth flood your hearts
Let it instantaneously drive the desolation in the wind away
Our fighting spirit is rousing so that hope can be re-ignited
Because tomorrow is not far away

Just look up

I think it would be great if someone could help me create the accompaniment for this song (note the key change at the chorus) so that the complete version can be put out there. Let me know if you want to assist me in playing this small part in helping those affected by the natural disaster to recover. Thanks in advance.

Dancing with the (porn) stars

2011-03-10T07:53:00.005+11:00

What would you say to a porn star minutes after you have just seen him in action on XTube as he stands right in front of you this very second? That was the thing going through my mind as we waited for the DNA Mardi Gras float co-ordinator to arrive.

As I did not attend the pre-event mixer at Stonewall a few weeks back, I knew I would be a stranger to almost all of the people there and that was why I arrived much earlier to mingle. Fortunately there were quite a few out-of-towners present and I quickly got acquainted with them and started to really soak in the sights around me. A little background for the uninitiated. Just as I was working with DNA on the article, they were gathering a list of “hot guys” to put on the float and I was given one of the invites. As one of the only two Asians (the other guy seemed to be of mixed parentage but nobody likes details right?) on the float, I do feel honoured.

First and foremost, it WAS weird seeing the stars of BelAmi doing normal-people stuff in normal-people clothes amongst normal people (they were fierce smokers though). When pizza arrived, they gorged like their perfect physiques did not depend on what they eat, which is actually correct–you are NOT what you eat if you do it in moderation and do lots of exercise. Just when I felt like taking a picture with the iconic Lukas Ridgeston my camera went berserk and refused to turn on (perfect reason to replace that cheapo model). I am always hesitant to request celebrities for photo-ops because I think it makes you look LC. Of course them being very clique-ish didn’t help either–I wonder if it was because of their celebrity status (seeing how elite and exclusive they are since BelAmi only recruits a certain kind of look/built/endowment) or the language barrier that they did not really interact with the rest of us–a bit of both I guess. I remember an unforgettable BelAmi scene where “innocent” Lukas stumbled into an orgy room and the camera captured his shocked expression with those piercing blue eyes (as well as another when he first bottomed). It is funny how life develops–you never know what will happen in the future and who you will find eating greasy fast food before your eyes.

Porn stars being their normal selves

One notable BelAmi guy on our float was “Kris” (of course they don’t use their real names)–a superbly-perfect (c)hunk-of-god enough to melt straight and gay guys and girls alike down to their knees, someone who was almost painful to look at because he was so heart-stoppingly gorgeous. You couldn’t help but think how your life would turn out if you looked like that. But then again you might be so insecure and doubtful of people’s intentions–whether they like you for who you are or how you look. I am glad I will never have to ask myself that question. With their stage names painted onto their chests and their company name on their backs, you soon realise that this exquisite species of perfectly made-up human beings is nothing more than an object, poised to dazzle and lure you into buying them, not unlike shiny new cars or a sassy new shirt in the display window (as their short shelf-lives continue to wane). When you start looking at them like that, you immediately clip their angel wings and they fall straight down to Earth. Oh, and most of them are just gay-for-pay anyway.

Kris getting "BelAmi Online" painted on his back

The BelAmi videographer that night was Lukas–the star wearing the most layers. He has retired and moved behind the camera (directing online BelAmi clips) and I guess wasn't there to outshine the other younger actors. That being said, this veteran has aged really well and looks much better than when he was just a cherubic piece of teen meat in the market. As the videographer, he did not have much time to rest and were there filming everything (I will keep checking the BelAmi site for the Mardi Gras coverage) including us queuing forever in front of the portaloos waiting to change into our (ill-fitting Aussiebum) official DNA swimwear. I have always thought that Aussiebum swimmers are cut too baggy in front and that was once again affirmed that night. For people who are not in the know, behind this free-for-all spectacle called Mardi Gras, there is a strict set of rules everyone who is part of it must adhere to. For instance, what the participants wear must not show any labels or brand names because that would impact on advertising rights. That was why our swimmers only came with a very small almost-invisible tag. FYI, DNA also provided enhancement tools a.k.a. cock rings but a one-size-fits-all policy did not go well on me–I chucked it away soon after I got it.

Lukas documenting the event all the way.
I now need to search BelAmi Online for the video

The pair of swimmers we got to wear was rather translucent and when they were wet, oh, you could see EVERYTHING, which was what they were meant for (a little more on why later). After changing into our parade attire, we played the waiting game (our float was one of the last few to set off). And then it started to rain intermittently–talk about good timing. The weather was not that warm to begin with and whenthe rain came, it was downright chilly. We had to huddle under the bus shelter for warmth away from the shower–that was when I really saw the diverse groups in unity with a common goal.

All the DNA float hotties. Now where am I...?

To pass the time, a group of us went visiting other floats (one of the highlights of any parade participant). I went social-butterflying with one of the more approachable (and rare) guys who did not put up an air around him that screamed I-am-gay-and-beautiful-so-you-cannot-touch-me. This friendly American (Eric) was bursting with positive energy and if you were there, you would think that he knew every single person at the marshalling area. Did I mention he was scrumptious too? Cute AND humble, now that’s a combination. We had lots of fun–hungry but lots of fun (I did not have a chance to grab dinner). I also saw some familiar faces and it was good–I needed some grounding with all the porn celebrities prancing around me.

The stars of BelAmi–fresh from Xtube to Oxford Street

Finally at about nine, we set off into the screaming spectators lining both sides of the parade route. Our float comprised of four jeeps with a fixed number of porn stars and marchers assigned to each. It was a car-wash theme and that explained the sponges in our hands. Some of us (ie. me) had the unenviable task of carrying each of the two buckets allocated to every jeep which was filled with water (although we were told to take turns carrying them). We were supposed to clean the cars, wet ourselves (hence the sheer costume), sponge down one another and maybe even the porn stars. But things quickly went “downhill” as we started splashing each other with water. To make things worse, the porn stars started throwing plastic bags of water from their jeeps at us, soaking us completely from head to toe. In the already-cool night with a steady breeze, the water dropped the temperature a few more degrees and I was literally shivering. At one point in time, one of the porn stars “Luke” overturned a full bucket on top of me and then we high-fived each other a few seconds after. It was all great (frigid) fun and sure enough, we ran out of water a fifth into the march (we also started flinging water onto the crowd–they didn’t seem to get enough of the liquid coming from us). I think we all achieved the intention of the float organiser (though no one “dared” to really get down and dirty with the porn stars–perhaps we were all too conscious that we were mere mortals).

Getting ready, sponges in hand

Starting off on our water-play session (me being visible for once)

The whole march lasted for about an hour (the wait was much longer) and somehow it felt much shorter than my first march with ACON two years ago. It was also a great shame the DNA float had no lighting and music of its own otherwise it would have been much hotter and sexier, not to mention a whole lot more fun. Thoroughly drenched with my socks drowning in my runners and extremely famished, we made our way back to Oxford Street where I had my usual post-parade kebab. As nourishment slowly permeated my body rebuilding my shield against the nippy air, I noticed the also-usual post-parade carnage–rubbish piled up to the knees. Talking about rubbish, strangely I did not see as many ferals as compared to previous years. That being said, I think there were also fewer spectators. Perhaps adding the word “New” to Mardi Gras was not enough to revive it and this whole institution is indeed getting old, tired and redundant. Before I start an analysis on the history and future of Mardi Gras and its impact on the gay community, let me just end the post here and share some more of the brilliant pictures taken by the float’s official photographer.

Porn stars up close and personal

Hunky advertisements

Another arresting shot of Kris

Taylor Square–the most important part of the route

The shot I like best

As I saw revellers gearing up for the after-party, I felt really lucky to not be the partying sort (in fact I have grown from not enjoying circuit parties to slightly disliking them). I would much rather cuddle my bibi in bed, which was what I did when I got home straight after the parade. Boy do I miss that warm body.

The article (DNA)

2011-03-03T07:50:00.006+11:00

Just a quick post to share with you guys the article in the current issue of DNA magazine that has my story and pictures. The Mardi Gras parade is just around the corner and I will definitely be taking pictures of me soaping up BelAmi porn stars on the DNA float! Stay tuned!

Musical journey (10)

2011-02-27T12:34:00.005+11:00

To you, the homophobic religious nutcase as well as the more temperate bigot cloaked in ignorant conservatism, to you, the juvenile and intellectually-blind racist, to you, the one at work who thinks that I need to be as lazy as you to fit into your culture, to you, the lifeless killjoy who whinges about my pictures and everything else, to you, the drama queen who thinks that the world revolves around you, to you, the closetted one who tries to censor me based on jealousy and insecurity, to you, the man I have loved who brought me down with hurt, to you, I present this song.

A concoction of my attitude towards life, penchant for nudism and modelling, gay pride elements and a seductive beat, this unapologetic expression of self-identity crystallises all I want to convey to you naysayers into a nice little package and is my perfect Mardi Gras anthem.

"Are you looking at me?"

[Are You Looking At Me]

When it's time to show
My inhibition's out the window
In front of the flashlight
That's where I call my home
I'm all exposed

Do you think that I care what you want, what you think
What the fuck
In your face, I will shout, I'll be loud and be proud
You can never tear me down
You're just a hurt little boy with a big, big mouth
You might think I'm the devil in Armani, you'd be right
I'm too huge, you can't take it sitting down
I don't care, waste your breath, knock yourself out if you want
'Cos it's time for my close-up and I'll show you how it's done

Are you looking at me
Do you like what you see now
Tell me how I can please
And not just be a tease
Don't stop looking at me

Peel away my clothes
Till there is nothing left but my soul
And I'm standing right in front of all your eyes
How can you say no

I'm a man, I need love, I want sex, I don't beat around the bush
Add drama to some bullshit, that's crap and you know it
Don't try to drag me down, that's not the way I wanna live
I'm a realist, I'm a dreamer, I'm all hard logic
Can't you see we're all different, so let me run with it
Do chill, relax, I'm naked, nothing up my sleeves

Are you looking at me
Am I all that you dream of
There's a fire in me
Burning out of my reach
Can you put it out please now

This is my first-ever attempt at writing in this genre so please be kind in your comments. Happy Mardi Gras! And no more bad luck for me this year please!