Sunday, October 31, 2010

Musical journey (6)

Lately there has been a lot of media attention around gay teen suicides arising from bullying. Thinking back I have also encountered sexuality-related bullying though it was mostly in the form of name-calling and social-ostracising. It was a miserable time but thankfully I had enough sense and discipline to channel all my energy into school work and unite with other geeky outcasts for strength. I figured if all else fails and I ended up having a wretched life with no friends and support, at least I would still have excellent academic qualifications to shove in their faces. As time passed, my plodding along the awkward path of growing up with my head hung low slowly became a confident stride with a strong sense of self-identity (and a wicked body to match). It was not easy but life does get better and though the challenges of life never end, grown-ups will most certainly look back at their maladjusted adolescence as a mere speck of insignificance. What does not kill you makes you stronger and no, that is not just a weightless adage, it is one of the truest statements to live by.

Recently my colleague’s boyfriend committed suicide and her life was totally wrecked. No one can ever profess to fully understand the pain and suffering another goes through and hence no one can and should point the finger of blame when such tragedies occur. I for one cannot fathom why anyone would think that there is no other way out. All we can do is to stand by and support the people they left behind as well as look out for signs of depression in those close to us and offer assistance when we can.

This month’s musical journey is a little morbid for it delves into suicide (not from bullying but from heartbreak). I have written this song a long time ago for I wanted to look at love songs from another angle, a very dark one. This song starts at the instance when the heartbroken slashes his wrist with a shard of glass as he slowly fades away and he closes his eyes ultimately to see the white light when the song ends. I hope the music, words and video all help to trigger the deeply-silent image of utter helplessness and numbness I wanted to portray when I wrote this piece.


/词 / : 锦泉/


黑暗 无声肆虐


我门 不再关上


[White Light]

A veil of gray shrouds the sky as the glass shatters
My blood shall flow for the one who bears this sin

Time loses all its senses as darkness quietly rages
Yet I am lucid enough to clearly see all the gaps I have left in history

You surface once again but this time my heart no longer holds on to you
I slowly close my eyes as I see you standing there on the horizon

A white light shines in the distance and the door to my soul is no longer closed
You and I finally fall into silence as we gradually forget the pain

A veil of gray shrouds the sky as the glass shatters
My blood shall flow for the one who bears this sin

Saturday, October 16, 2010

The reflection series

Time to reveal some flesh again people! This series of shots was done at a friend's studio on top of a piece of perspex to achieve that sleek reflective and symmetrical look that the photographer wanted. I like collaborating with him because he is very passionate about his work and pushes himself very hard and hard workers appeal to me. As a result of this positive energy, I put in even more effort to get the results that we both wanted. Also I had the pleasure of being made up before the shoot by his assistant who is also his partner. The entire shoot lasted a full day (which left us absolutely famished and exhausted at the end) and there was another series squeezed in as well but that will be for another post. I really love this series not only because I have not done something of this genre before but also how it shows another side of me and I hope you would like it too. I will certainly have him shoot me again but the next one will be done outdoors for summer is looming right in front of us!

Visit for more of his work.