Of course with COVID, everything's made worse. There has been an outbreak of cases in the camp lately but thankfully this time they're taking a pragmatic approach and not isolating all close contacts. Contact tracing is done via interviews hence only a small number of close contacts have been identified and so far I'm not one of them. This means that I get to continue using the mess and gym which are VERY important to me (lousy packed food and weak muscles SUCK). Well I can always rely on my still-unrecovered-completely loss of taste if packed food is all I can have.
Poor office ergonomics has also exacerbated an existing neck ache and now it has spread to my shoulders and upper arms. I've just gotten a desk-extension to allow me to stand while working so hopefully that will improve my condition as the pain can be unbearable at the end of a long day. When I'm at work in PNG, one day passed is another day closer to home, and that way of thinking keeps me motivated and sane.
That's all the whingeing for now. This month's musical offering is a brand new composition telling a fictional story of heartbreak. I intentionally used very strong words in ths piece to express that raw immense pain when you're betrayed by someone you deeply love. I wish this on no one but sadly, it happens all too often. I guess such episodes help us learn more about ourselves and what we actually want in life and that can't be a bad thing right? I hope you like the song and I'll catch you again soon.
[从缺]
灰色世界 通通瓦解
冷却 冻结
沉默永不凋谢
心已决裂 你位子我已歼灭
从缺 隔绝
来不及告别
现实中 睡梦中
空气中都是你的面容
顺时钟 逆时钟 辗转中甩不掉你影踪
你不公 你不忠 你不惜代价肆意玩弄
我不从 我不容 我不想再被记忆操控
心跳中 呼吸中 血液中思念循环流动
被嘲讽 被掏空 被你打击却不能喊痛
说不通 搞不懂 为何撒谎都言不由衷
好空洞 好沉重 在死胡同里何去何从
迷失荒野 无日无夜
哽咽 昏厥
伤得轰轰烈烈
不顾一切 残酷又冷血
剥削 凌虐
如此地卑劣
灰色世界 通通瓦解
冷却 冻结
沉默永不凋谢
心已决裂 你位子我已歼灭
从缺 隔绝
来不及告别
[Emptied]
This grey world
Completely annihilated
Cooling, freezing
Where silence never withers
The heart has split
And your place in it has been destroyed
Emptied, separated
No time to say goodbye
In real life
In dreams
In the air lies your face
Clockwise, anti-clockwise
Tossing and turning in bed
Cannot shake away the traces of you
You were unfair
You were unfaithful
You gave your all to wilfully play
I will not obey
I will not tolerate
I do not want to be controlled by memories anymore
In my heartbeats
In my breaths
In my blood flows thoughts of you
Ridiculed by you
Hollowed out by you
Struck by you yet not allowed to scream in pain
It cannot be explained
It cannot be understood
Why are you not even sincere in your lies
So inane
Yet so heavy
Where do I go next at this dead end
Lost in the wilderness
There is no night and no day
Choking with tears
Feeling faint
Wounded spectacularly
Recklessly
Cruelly and cold-bloodedly
You exploit
You abuse
So despicable
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