To Greg / Musical journey (124)

20 years ago, a maladjusted young gay guy living in Singapore desperately looking for love and struggling with coming out, body insecurity and daddy issues met an older married man residing in Sydney who never had a son and was exploring homosexuality late in his life. Sounds like a match made in heaven? It was, for many of this young man's formative years. This is the origin story between me and one of the most important figures of my life, Greg.

Our relationship grew over daily emailing and nightly calls when he slipped out for his "walks". The time difference did little to quell the desire to become closer. We met for the first time when he came over to Singapore during one of his business trips. The love and hunger was mutually intense as we filled each other's gaps in exactly the way they yearned to be filled. We simply couldn't get enough of each other.

As much as it was loving, it was also very taboo. He was the father I never really had as a boy yet we were in a physical relationship. It was not a daddy fantasy, he was my true father. The age gap really weighed on Greg's mind and was the reason why he withheld his real age for a long time. The fact that he was married with three adult daughters added to the forbidden nature of the love. We had each other but we were alone as we couldn't let anyone else know of this very precious thing we had. This is also why I haven’t shared this part of my life with a lot of people and on this blog, until now.

We threw societal norms and caution to the wind as we continued to write and talk to each other almost daily and see each other once or twice a year. Greg was the main reason why I took up a university exchange program in Sydney—that was the best six months of my life. We had a date at this French restaurant in Sydney the first time I was there. Though I've forgotten its name now, it remained our special place where we visited whenever I went to see him.

The interesting thing is that I was also seeing other guys and Greg was always there to pick up the pieces when all those short relationships fell apart because I was too eager to get into them. He was my shoulder through and through, across the ocean.

Our age gap never really escaped Greg. I was ready to be in a permanent relationship with him but he always felt that I could do better and that he'd be wasting my youth. Deep down, he was probably just as insecure as any human being and not the solid father figure I depended so much on. Although the connection remained, it gradually lost the intensive sexual element and became a very close friendship between a mentor and a mentee. When Ision came into the picture, the change in relationship was complete.

Shortly after that, Greg met another guy and I was extremely happy for him. In fact I met his partner Paulo several times. When my mother came to see me in Sydney, I even brought her to meet them at Paulo's house. I've always wondered if my mum knew who Greg was and how many years of her son's life were spent with this elderly gentleman. Maybe mothers could always tell but maybe not. I guess I'll never know.

Greg and I have talked about him divorcing his wife many times during our relationship but he never did. He finally succeeded whilst being with Paulo and could finally be free to be who he really wanted to be. I was over the moon for him.

Throughout the years I was with Ision, Paulo and Greg were very close and we would catch up whenever they visited Melbourne. Greg was kept abreast of my life through this blog and we always messaged and emailed to wish each other happy birthday and Merry Christmas. It's a very warm yet strange feeling knowing that you have someone who is still there loving you but no longer in that familiar way. 

Greg got sick last year and the biopsy he underwent in November 2019 revealed that he had Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis. There was no cure for it and I knew he was going to get weaker and weaker. In February this year I messaged him to wish him happy birthday and he told me his condition was getting worse.

Although I was glad that Paulo was there to take care of him, I knew Greg's time was limited. Our relationship was kept a secret to others for many years but it was built on a foundation of no secrets and we could talk about anything with total transparency. During the February chat, I asked him if he was fine with me attending his funeral and he said it was, though no one there would know who I was. I said I'd just be Paulo's friend. I asked Greg for Paulo's number in case I needed to contact him and he gave it to me but he never gave Paulo my number.

Earlier this month I got a message from their mutual friend who managed to hunt me down on Facebook asking me to contact Paulo. I immediately knew what it was about. I called Paulo and was told the news that I had prepared myself for. Less than a month after I messaged Greg in February, he actually passed on. I was glad that I could wish him happy birthday one last time. Due to COVID-19, there couldn't be a real funeral but I heard there might be a retrospective one. I will attend that as planned, COVID restrictions permitting. I should have called him instead of texting in February but I guess we can't live our lives with this kind of regret.

When someone dies, the people they leave behind are what really matters. I feel so sorry for Paulo not least because he's all alone in his grief but he was deliberately cut out of Greg's will by his scheming daughters. Paulo didn't want to fight this but he had to. It's not about money at all but justice and recognition.

Greg had three daughters and the fact that he never had a son was a big part of why our relationship blossomed. He really wanted someone to nurture and support and it was that loving nature that drew me to him. It's so sad that the daughters he loved so much are now going against his wishes (they successfully plotted to make Greg revise his will several times). How greedy can people get?! It's a blessing in disguise that Greg will never know the truth as it would crush him. This battle is still raging on and I wish Paulo gets what he deserves, including Greg's holiday house.

It was this house in which they spent much time together and it was this house where Greg kept the tapes of the recorded songs I wrote for him over the years. Greg would play these songs as he drove. I asked Paulo if I could get them back and he said that could be arranged once he regains access to the house. To think that the daughters actually barred their father’s rightful partner from visiting his own house. I am beyond mad about this.

Throughout our seven years together, I've written 72 songs for Greg. Some were whimsical, some were funny but all were heavily tinged with a deep sense of longing as we traversed this long distance relationship. I went through all the songs after the sad news and picked one that meant the most to me and I believe it was also one of Greg's favourites. The words are as true today as they were 20 years ago when it was written though they take on a whole new meaning today. I had to fight back tears re-recording this song as every repeat of its title, my heart broke a little more.

Greg, I know you've heard this song a thousand times but if you can hear it now, know from my voice that you will always be remembered and cherished. I thank you for being there for me when I was at my lowest. I thank you for giving me the love and guidance that I needed. I thank you for being my pillar. There will forever be a spot in my heart where you will stay. I love you Greg and I will see you again some time.

[Without You]

When you're crying, cry it out
When you're laughing, do it with no doubt
When you're tired, do rest in my arms
They will be right open, waiting for you

When you're crying, I wish it's out of joy
When you're laughing, I will smile to myself
When there is hurt, pour it over my shoulders
They will be there, they'll be right there

Without you, I'll not be as strong
Without you, life is no longer a song
Without you, the journey is long
With you around, what more do I deserve?

Without you, the sun don't shine as bright
Without you, the night just falls colder
Without you, I can't imagine what the world would be
With you around, I can be who I want to be

When you need a hand, you've got a friend
When you need love, I will give it to you
Oh father, I want to be your son
Hold me to you, right into your arms

Without you, I'll not be as strong
Without you, life is no longer a song
Without you, the journey is long
With you around, what more do I deserve?

Without you, the sun don't shine as bright
Without you, the night just falls colder
Without you, I can't imagine what the world would be
With you around, I can be who I want to be

With you around, I can see the difference in me

Musical journey (123)

A month is like a lifetime in a world filled with a relentless virus capable of permeating every single facet of life and since my last post, much has happened indeed. For instance, Victoria has just recorded 28 consecutive days of no new cases which means that the virus has effectively been eliminated. Under the previous guidelines, we would have reached a state of COVID-normal and that there would be very little restrictions left, if at all.

However, the goal post has shifted and some restrictions still remain e.g. indoor establishments subjected to density quotas as well as a limit on home visitors. Although masks are no longer mandatory outdoors where social distancing can be maintained, they are still required indoors which makes my time in the gym that much harder. Fortunately I see many have their masks down to their chins and that's accepted as breathing while exercising would be difficult otherwise. Hence I simply have my nose exposed when doing weights unless someone with real BO issues come past. In that way, having a mask on can be a blessing (another glass half-full example). My exercise band and home-made dumb bells are never far away though as I know all this can be taken away from us in an instant.

I’ll never whinge about a conservative government especially seeing what a government oblivious of the suffering of its people is capable of (cue the on-his-last-few-breaths American president). That being said, I do get a little bored in the weekends now that restrictions have eased and so I'm making an effort to get out more by contacting friends to join in their activities. Frankly I'm surprised I'm unable to survive as a hermit forever and it only took a pandemic for me to realise that.

Work-wise, my patience with my current company is wearing really thin with the lack of support, leadership and oversight amidst crazy project schedules whilst working remotely. I’ve been complaining about this for the longest time and will keep doing so – if you don’t take care of the true money-makers (i.e. engineers), only the bottom-of-the-barrel crap “talent” and the foolish will stay with you. Without good people, all companies shrivel and die, and I hope this one does if it doesn’t improve its game.

Now before you accuse me of being in this category of foolish employees (I admit I have been for some years not without reason though), I need to stop you there. Although I still have both feet inside the figurative office door, they will not be for much longer. That’s if the things I’ve set in motion work out as planned. Like I mentioned in my last post, I can’t announce it formally till things are confirmed and sadly, they won’t be till at least maybe a month or two into the new year. When that happens, my wretched work life and boring non-work life will change drastically and I’m 70% sure the change will be for the better. Oh, and Ision will really enjoy the change too so it’s an absolute win-win.

One of the most effective ways I cure boredom in the weekends is to write songs and I’ve been very productive ever since I discovered this regularly-updated site filled with lots of backing tracks for lazy songwriters like me to choose from. There are lots of genres available and I'd usually pick one that suits my mood for the day. For this month's musical post, I'm presenting a piece I did when I was in the mood for a bit of fun.

In my opinion, there are too many love songs about the sorrows of loss and not enough of them celebrating the joys of loss. To me, loss is not a negative word when one is losing something that's going to cause more harm by clinging on to it. This song is about a guy moving on from a toxic relationship and sarcastically wishing his ex's new man the best of luck after finally realising that there's no point in holding on to something's that's already dead. Without the dead weight, the protagonist feels so light and free till the point he thinks he can fly, and  I chose a clip that portrays this freedom. 

We're approaching the last month of the year and although it's been a shitty 2020, 2021 is definitely worth looking forward to. Like the song, I know it'll be a year filled with that freedom as I celebrate the loss of a major source of anguish and pain. I love this new composition to bits and I hope you do too.

[Step Aside]

Scrolling through those happier times
Just wanna let misery seep into my life
Holding on to hope that this time
I can let it go and move right on with my life

Don't let what you see fool you
Underneath the smile I'm all blue
This wall of pain to break through
I can't but I have to

Say goodbye, don't wanna cry and miss you no more
You're not the guy, not gonna fight you anymore
Now it's time, to stop the lies and to end this war
Not looking back, I'm over you, and out the door

I don't wanna turn back time
'Cos I'm not afraid of a solitary life
Go ahead and turn off the light
A world without him no longer feels like a cold night

I can finally start anew
I'm done with your shit and with you
Can't stop him from getting screwed
So best of luck you two

On a high, like I can fly, so just let me soar
Colours so bright, not black and white and grey anymore
Tears are dry, I'll take my time to love myself more
It feels so right 'cos I'm not with you anymore

Now the weak part of me has died
And I realise what freedom is like
I will wear all these scars with pride
I'm back on my feet so step aside

Say goodbye, don't wanna cry and miss you no more
You're not the guy, not gonna fight you anymore
Now it's time, to stop the lies and to end this war
Not going back, I've blocked you now, so please don't call me anymore

On a high, like I can fly, so just let me soar
Colours so bright, not black and white and grey anymore
Tears are dry, I'll take my time to love myself more
I feel so light 'cos you're not in me anymore

Musical journey (122)

Melbourne is open for business again!!! 

I'm pleased to report that restaurants and retail have now re-opened, there's no longer any reason required to leave home and the 5km-turned-25km travel limit as well as the regional border restriction will both be removed in about a weeks' time. Oh, and not forgetting the biggest thing i.e. gyms are also to open from 9th November. Although my exercise band and home-made dumbbells work wonders and I'm starting to question whether a gym membership is needed at all, I'll still be returning to weights... for now.

No matter how much some people criticise the government for being conservative at the expense of the economy, they can't deny they're thankful they're not in Europe and USA right now where priorities the other way around have featured in national policies. They're shutting down this very moment (albeit a little late) to fight their second wave as we successfully exit ours. All the sacrifices Melburnians have made over the last 111 days of lockdown (one of the longest in the world) have paid off and we all collectively deserve a pat on our backs.

And also, I'm becoming 42 tomorrow! I shall look at this from a glass-half-full perspective not least because in this magical grey area, I can traverse both the "daddy" and "son" scenes which is something I've been taking full advantage of ever since I hit 40. The picture below sums it up so well (that happened when I was simultaneously chatting to two people). 

 

 

I actually also have another MAJOR piece of good news that I'm desperately wanting to share but I still can't do that because I don't want to jeopardise another thing I want happen but rest assured, when it's the appropriate time, I'll make sure it's front-and-centre on this blog! To celebrate this extremely pleasing event, Melbourne's re-opening as well as my birthday, I'll be wearing my flashy LED mask I bought online (picture below) as I head for my first dining-out experience since 26th June as the occasion truly calls for it. 

Last but not least, here's my musical offering for the month and it's my topless cover of Taiwanese singer 张韶涵's "引路的风筝" (the previous posts in this "pink shorts" series are here: 1 2). I've just learnt the song (original version here) when that recording was done because I loved it too much to wait to master it, so if you know it well, please pardon the mistakes (there's one especially big one). That being said, this is not an easy song to sing!

Musical journey (121)

We're still deep in Stage 4 lock down and the path out of it depends on keeping the 14-day rolling average new case numbers below a threshold (30 - 50 for the next step and 5 for the one after that). This has put the entire state population's attention glued to the daily statistics in the hope that things are progressing in the right direction.

Fortunately they are (our number today is 22.1) and we're moving to the next step of easing of restrictions from midnight tonight. Though the things that are eased are minor and I'm not really impacted by them (other than perhaps the lifting of the curfew), we need to get to this next step before conquering the next one so it's important to all of us. Fingers crossed we move successfully from step to step (modelling shows the next progression will come in 3 weeks), especially when we've all worked so hard and sacrificed so much to keep the numbers down!

On the work front, things are quietening down and I'm running out of work yet again (curse COVID-19)! However it's not all bad news because I got "head-hunted" on LinkedIn by a recruiter and after a chat with her, I was shortlisted for an interview with the PNG firm I worked for from 2014 to 2016.

I'm so sick with my current company and how it doesn't take care of its engineers (the people who actually make the money). Hence, I'll have to put in some effort to prepare for the interview next week and if I do get the gig, it'll be the best middle-finger-to-you exit from where I am now. The most awesome thing is I've worked there before (did something very similar) and even know some of the interviewers. So fingers and toes both crossed and wish me luck!

This month's musical post features a cover from 毛不易, one of my favourite singer-songwriters from China. I discovered him through this song and then found out how talented a songwriter he is. I admire him greatly as he writes these pieces that I'm never be able to. That is also why I follow his new releases very closely. I have covered him once already here and I hope you're in the mood for one more!

Flesh & fitness through Facebook

We're almost at the end of winter here and normally this time of the year would make me feel excited about being able to wear more revealing clothes but with the lock down and the general feeling of doom and gloom, there will be none of it this spring. Some good news though, Melbourne's new COVID-19 cases were down to double digits for the first time yesterday since the start of the second wave which means the strict Stage 4 lock down and mandatory mask-wearing are both working their magic. 

People who know me will know that I'm a person of simple needs and in this depressing period, all I ask for other than staying employed is the ability to dine out again, visit my Mum (i.e. no travel restrictions) and for gyms to re-open. Talking about gyms, as expected, with only a resistance band and body weight at my disposal, muscle-growth has somewhat ceased. All I'm doing now is to try my best to maintain what I have.

I started the "Through Facebook" posts almost half a year ago to re-live those fond memories of my home which all seem so far away now. This last post of the series features flesh and fitness which I hope will delight people who do read my blog (I often wonder if there's anyone who takes notice of my posts). These pictures also serve to remind me that I can always get back to that state if I put in the effort (but the gyms have to be open!). 

I really miss everything I've posted in this series and look forward to experiencing them all over again when this pandemic craziness ends. I wish all of you well and that you continue to stay safe and healthy.

Mandatory first gym selfie back home. Somehow the humidity managed to seep through the air conditioning. I never used to sweat so much in Australian gyms! #StickyButHot #ToplessSelfieSoon

What better way to usher in the new year than a long early morning jog to sweat all the bad things of 2019 away? #WetAndHotNow #Happy2020

An empty gym already made my day, and then I see the pool with this view. Man, why haven't I discovered this branch sooner? #GymNowPoolLater

I didn't expect myself to spend more than 3 hours in the gym but when it's such a nice one, you've gotta do it all and be prepared, I'll be in you again same time next week! #FullWeightsRoutine #TreadmillRun #Swim #SteamRoom

Talk about beautiful skylines and even more beautiful company!

The view from Lazarus Island. #PerfectDay

Nude @ Lazarus. Roy and Garry, we miss you! #BeingFree #BestFeelingInTheWorld #FacebookPleaseDontBanMe

Need to chill in aircon after a day toasting nude in the sun and so we've opted for cheap off-peak karaoke. #StillHot

My first time here and I must say I'm impressed!

OK, gym routines finished for this week and so I can finally pig out for my KL trip starting tomorrow! #IGymToEat #AreTheseTooSkimpyAndTightAsGymAttire

No lunch after a full weights-plus-cardio workout and straight for my "topless KTV" recording session. #HappyWithTheResults #ButColdAndHungry #VideoScreenGrab

Back to the grind after 3 days of excess. #WorkItOrLoseIt

Guess who got his red packet already? Happy Lunar New Year of the to all! Huat ah! #除夕#鼠年快乐

7% body fat, 88% muscles, metabolic age 15 years younger than my real age, full marks on BMR (basal metabolic rate) and have an overall "slim muscular" rating. Not bad for an old man!

So which one suits me the best? #PartyHarness #WearingSomethingButItsLikeWearingNothing

Getting my tan line at a near-empty public pool. What do you think of the result? #IKnowTheDangersButWhatTheHeck

Musical journey (120)

It seems like my blog posts these days are a running update of the COVID-19 crisis and it'd be interesting to look back at these posts when this is all over to see how well I coped. So in the name of updates, Melbourne went into Stage 4 lockdown on 2nd August i.e. you can only go out for essential reasons and there's also a nightly curfew between 8pm to 5am. I rarely venture out at night during normal times anyway let alone during a pandemic so that doesn't really affect me. 

One gripe I have is I didn't manage to get a haircut before the 6-week lockdown so it'll surely not look pretty come 13th September. Also, seeing that I've completed "Ghost of Tsushima" yesterday, I really need another thing to keep me occupied. I hope my impulse online purchase of an LED face mask on the same day I finished the game won't mean that online shopping is the thing that will fill the gap!

On the work front, I managed to manoeuvre myself out of a project that I know will be very stressful due to unreasonable client requirements and poor project management. Although I'm very happy with that move, the flip side is a possible work vacuum when my existing project winds down. I'll know the end date of the job I'm currently leading next week and then I'll be the first to ask my boss to put me in the queue for more work. Importantly, I hope the company restructuring that's taking place now will not hinder this.

OK, I'm done with updates. Now it's time for this month's musical post which is a Mandarin piece I penned called "自私" or "Selfishness". Through this song I want to emphasise that "unconditional love" is a myth, which is something that I've felt for years. Nothing in this world happens without a reason and that includes love. 

Be it giving or receiving love, it's always done to satiate a need or to fill a void and hence these acts are selfish. The closest to unconditional love in my opinion would be a parent's love for his or her child. It's almost unconditional but if you delve deeper, you'll realise it's still conditional. Try using the "five whys" approach on this i.e. repeatedly ask why and you'll very likely get to the root of the issue within five whys. Let me know how you go!

[自私]

词  /  曲 : 锦泉

爱一个人是种自私的游戏
像饮食寝居的需要， 像呼吸
最初与最终都想着满足自己
只不过是场捉迷藏
觅寻想被爱的人而已

被一个人爱是种自私的玩意
不是欲望而是需要， 是不得已
月出至月落盲目地粉妆自己
只不过是场歌舞剧
哭过笑过后就没关系

一个个自私作祟的心跳里
凝聚着爱情伟大的推动力
剥掉他们的心灵，只要有个躯体
人就能爱到底
终于领略到爱的真谛
但是否能共白头， 生死不离不弃
这问题你我他们都回答不起


[Selfishness]

Loving someone is nothing but a selfish game
Just like the need to eat, drink, sleep, live and breathe
From start to end, we are merely trying to satisfy ourselves
It's like hide and seek
Looking for someone who wants to be loved

Being loved by someone is nothing but a trick
Not a want but a need, and no one has a choice
From night to day we blindly make ourselves up
It's like theatre
After a cry and a laugh, we all move on

Every heartbeat haunted by selfishness
Coalesces into this mighty motivation behind love
Peel away the heart and soul
As long as there is a body
Humans will be able to love till the end
And that is the final appreciation of its true meaning
But whether or not we can grow old together
And stay together through life and death
Alas no one has the answer to that question

Musical journey (119)

Since my last post, there had been massive spikes in COVID-19 cases in Melbourne in the range of 350 to 450 new infections and about 5 deaths per day on the average making the city I'm in the worst hot spot in Australia. A lot of these cases are in aged care homes which means the curve will be hard to flatten in this second wave and deaths will mount.

Masks have also been made mandatory since Thursday this week and I hope that helps but I seriously don't think the current Stage 3 lockdown will only last 6 weeks as originally planned seeing how things are developing. We're still unsure what Stage 4 lockdown looks like but it won't be nice for sure. My pet peeve with masks is they fog up my glasses and come summer if we're still in this shit, it'll become much more uncomfortable.

Although things are going from bad to worse and the economy has tanked with the biggest-ever deficit since World War II, I'm fortunate that I'm still employed. However, I only have one project at the moment and so despite my best efforts to get out of this very tough one, I can't.

When real life gets unbearable, people tend to withdraw into fictional worlds and I'm so glad I decided to buy "Ghost of Tsushima", yet another highly-successful Playstation 4-exclusive game. I did a 9-day work fortnight again on the day it was released (I did that last time with "The Last of Us: Part II"). This is so I can immerse myself fully in this breathtakingly gorgeous adventure set in 13th century Japan on the island of Tsushima.

This game is a tale about a samurai's fight to save his homeland from invading Mongols i.e. though the story is fictional, it's based on true historical events and locations which makes it even better. There are three acts in this game and I've currently just started the second and absolutely love every second of it.

So before I jump back into this gaming world away from the harsh realities of the real one, here's this month's musical post featuring a topless me with a rendition of 那英's "默" which is one of my favourite songs of hers (the previous post in this new topless KTV series is here). Watch out for a very high ad-libbed note which was really fun to do!

Kuala Lumpur through Facebook

Sigh. So we're back in Stage 3 lockdown for 6 weeks until 19-Aug. I'm sure this is not the last time the cycle will repeat but it's this going back-and-forth which the Australian government calls "flicking the light switch on and off" that will kill spirits along with the economy. Maybe there will soon be a revolt or mutiny but what would that ultimately achieve? This also means that I'd have to continue working from home for at least two more months, much to Ision's dismay. A new project with the same inept project manager I'm now working with is starting next week and despite my best efforts in getting out of it, I think I'll be stuck with stupidity, yet again. I guess I should thank my lucky stars that I'm still employed in these crazy times.

Even more irritating about Lockdown 2.0 is how it affected my planned country weekend breather to Daylesford originally happening in a little less than a month's time. With the tourism industry so badly hit by COVID-19, businesses have no choice sometimes but to charge high cancellation fees or even offer no refund upon cancellation. The booking for this trip was made knowing that no refunds would be given though I'm not sure how that can be legal. I was expecting an offer of credit or a date-change penalty but fortunately a refund was given with no questions asked. This delayed getaway at the spa resort is now ten weeks away and I simply cannot wait!

Honestly I didn't expect this lockdown would affect me this way and so strongly given such a home body I am but I guess everyone has their limits. While I patiently wait for my September staycation, I can look back at my trip to Kuala Lumpur earlier this year when I had a fun time meeting new friends in the Asian bear community. Though I didn't get to see Petaling Street again (many say that's such an overrated place anyway), it was still a very good holiday. Here's my KL itinerary:

Day 1
- Travelling to KL by coach
- Lunch at the famous Sri Nirwana Maju at Bangsar Village
- Shopping at Bangsar Village, Low Yat and Sungei Wang
- Dinner at Jalan Alor
- Drinks at Blue Boy Discotheque Pub at Bukit Bintang 

Day 2

- Lunch and shopping at Lot 10, Fahrenheit 88 and Pavilion
- Dessert then dinner at One Utama
- Clubbing at Utopia Club

Day 3
- Shopping at Mid Valley Megamall
- Coffee at Menara UOA
- Travelling back to Singapore by coach

On our way to KL! I know this trip will be more enjoyable than the one I took to Bangkok so I'm quite excited! #MuchBetterCompany #5HourBusTrip

You know you're no longer in Singapore when you don't see Chinese in signs. #RestStop

Lunch is our first stop and it's somewhere Garry needs to go to every time he's in KL.

Home for the next two nights. Not too bad but not too good either. #ThisWillDo

Full tourist mode on.

Since my bear bear Ision is not with me, I'd have to make do with these. Cute or not?

When on holidays, you pig out at dinner at 10pm then go straight to a gay bar ignoring the bloated tummies. Just because it's Jalan Alor. #FatDieMeAlsoDontCare

Full cabaret and clubbing mode on.

After a night of excess, herbal bak ku teh is the perfect light meal. Yumz. #LightButStillVeryTasty

Back in full tourism mode at the must-go mall when you're in KL. #MickeyMouseCNY

This must be the most sugar I've had in one sitting in a long time while getting acquainted with more members of the bear community. #HaveToGymSoHardWhenIAmBackInSingapore

Gorging again just before hitting Utopia Club. #OnlyWithBears #LoveMyBears

Bringing in the Year of the Rat in style in KL. #ClamouringForGodOfFortuneForAngPows  #30BottlesOfBeerFor4 #RedParty #CNY2020

Shenanigans of last night. The stage seemed empty with only one gogo boy so it was only right to join in the fun! #CurseTheSmokeMachine #ItWasAGreatNight
PS: A shoutout to the folks back in Melbourne, Happy Midsumma Festival!

Well I didn't get to have the Soo Kee char siew I wanted but at least I had the authentic KL wanton mee experience and then some!

It has been years since my last bubble tea but I've always wanted to try boba milk and I finally gave in. #TheCaloriesWereNotWorthIt #NothingGreat

PS: The bus rides we took to and back were surprisingly comfortable.

Musical journey (118)

I've always wanted to busk especially when here in Melbourne, the busking culture is strong, pre-COVID of course. Unfortunately I'm too lazy to go through the license-application process so ever since I was aware that my sister started to busk in Singapore, I knew I had to get to one of her sessions.

I'm so glad I had the chance to do that during my Singapore trip earlier this year before I lost my voice due to a cough and overeating of "heaty" food over the Chinese New Year period. I was originally meant to be a "guest star" doing only three songs but I ended up doing about four times that number, including duets with my sister. In addition to the exhilaration I got from performing live in front of an audience, it was also very good family bonding time.

The location where we busked was next to a Chinese New Year market in the heart of Chinatown so there were massive crowds (which I loved because of the attention) and festive music all around (which I disliked as it was distracting). COVID was just getting into the news at that time with no lock-down and it feels really strange now looking back at how un-socially distant people were back then. I had my sister help film me and at times she was chatted up by members of the audience during the recording, so I apologise for the oft-jarring background noise (as well as unsavoury-looking characters in the shot) but it does give you the correct feel of that location that night.

This month's musical post features "囚鸟", a Mandarin song released in 1996 by Hong Kong singer 彭羚 which I like a lot for the melody and hence chosen as one of my busking pieces. It's best to do older songs as more people in the audience can identify with them (especially when the crowd at Chinatown tends to be older). Singing in the original key, my falsetto naturally impressed the crowd and hopefully you guys will also be equally pleased with my performance.

Oh, and happy PRIDE everyone (and congratulations for a successful first-ever digital Pink Dot Singapore)!