Musical journey (177)

I've written a lot of songs these few years about drug use knowing full well that to many, there's a fine control line between "recreation" and "abuse". My definition of "abuse" is a level of consumption needed for one to simply function normally. We also know that the more easily available the drug of choice, the more unclear this line becomes. Case in point—alcohol.

 

Alcohol is the drug that kills the most people globally and continues to kill every second. There aren't many drugs in the world that hardcore addicts can't go "cold turkey" on their road to recovery or else they will die, and these are opiods (heroin, fentanyl), benzodiazepine (Valium, Xanax) and yes, alcohol. And we're not even talking about the most addictive drug in the world—nicotine (which has gotten worse with vaping, not better).

 

Talking about addiction, governments are hooked on the tax revenue from alcohol, and coupled with it being synonymous with social recreation, the problems associated with this drug become impossible to eradicate. Hence, we've evolved over eons to see deaths caused by or related to alcohol consumption as inevitable, much like how upholders of the American Second Amendment view deaths from mass shootings.

 

Now, is that cavalier perspective on the harm caused by alcohol right or wrong? And should your answer to that question change when we switch the drug to one that causes less deaths i.e. any of the so-called "hard drugs" e.g. methamphetamine, cocaine, etc.? Life is never black and white and so we don't need to wear tinted glasses to add more colour to this world (there's a Chinese saying "戴有色眼镜" which literally translates to "wearing tinted glasses" and it means "to have a prejudiced viewpoint").

This month's musical journey is all about drowning one's sorrows with alcohol. I often wonder does that even work? I know drugs deepen the state of mind one is in at the point of intake, so wouldn't you feel sadder when you're already down before you start drinking? Nevertheless, people do it all the time despite alcohol being a depressant because humans are irrational beings.

 

Interestingly, although we're all aware that "driving under the influence" is bad, we seldom think about "drinking under the influence". This new composition with a rock/metal theme (a genre I only dabble in occasionally) explores the very concept of drinking your problems away which I'm certain is something you or someone you know have done, so I'd love to hear your thoughts on this topic, after listening to the song of course.

[D. U. I.]

Written By: Kim

This is not what I deserve
But that's not stopping you
So go on, do your worst

Shake me off, I'm just like dirt
You don't relent
And I know that
But I refuse to learn

Push me, I crack
'Cos your strength I lack
It doesn't take much to see tears gush
Right out of a man

The weaker I get
Your mind gets more set
I get lost at the exit door
Why can't I catch a breath

Got nowhere to turn
And so I'm back here
Drinking under influence

You have got to earn
The right to be here
There's a three-heartbreak at the minimum

Like a numbing heartburn
Memories linger here
They go down only to return

Pictures of us I preserve
Can't let go, they haunt me
Lock me in a curse

To heal, you need to first be hurt
Then I'd be spent
So here I drench away the bitterness

I must be mad
When I play pretend
That I ain't crushed
That I can last
Right until the end

Panic attacks
But don't let me hit back
That line I've crossed
Made you change your course
It's too late to regret

Got nowhere to turn
And so I'm back here
Drinking under influence

You have got to earn
The right to be here
There's a three-heartbreak at the minimum

Like a numbing heartburn
Memories linger here
They go down only to return

Hit me with affliction
I need this addiction
Give me pain unreserved
Quench my fucking thirst

Got nowhere to turn
And so I'm back here
Drinking under influence

You have got to earn
The right to be here
There's a three-heartbreak at the minimum

Like a numbing heartburn
Memories linger here
Please go down
And never to return

 

PNG woes (part 1)

This is my last weekend at home before Rotation #24 commences and I already know that I'm going into this hitch with some really gnarly problems waiting for me as I still get messages from work chats on Microsoft Teams during my break. Well, it's business as usual really... Whenever I use the word "crazy" to describe my time in PNG, I'm not only referring to actual issues with valves, tanks, pumps, heat exchangers, pipelines, compressors, etc. (the list goes on), I'm also talking about troubles that have to do with people (both expatriates and locals).

 

 

For expatriates, the thing that can be problematic is typically their laziness. Through countless restructuring (the most significant one being the acquisition of my ex-company a few years ago), people become tucked into organisational blind spots and accountabilities get eroded. Those out to milk this would do so to the maximum possible level and if the entire reporting line behaves like that or remote supervision becomes ineffective (it usually is), this can go unnoticed at the management level for years. I notice it on the ground everyday though, and that's one of my pet peeves that irks me to no end.

Alas, it'll be better now that "value-adding" initiatives are going to cut to the bone this year (purportedly 40 or so million dollars need to be cut from PNG alone in 2025) and the first wave of expatriates purging has already taken place in the name of "enhancing effic

iency". For once, I'm willing to drink to that. A PNG national told me sometime ago that certain expatriates can be so tone-deaf that they talk loudly (almost bragging) about the "mundane" things they do over their weekends/holidays (e.g. yachting) around locals that they know are struggling to make ends meet. I say it's about bloody time we remove all these obnoxious dead weights.

As for the local workforce, their issues are much more complicated. Compared to my words, here's a video that can give you a far better context behind the life people in PNG are accustomed to. Although that's an old documentary and on some level, things have improved (e.g. road infrastructure) but some things have gone downhill (e.g. tribal wars have become more extreme with a greater influx of guns into the country). At the 45:20 mark, you'll see Moro. In the show, they referred to Moro being where the oil drilling site was i.e. this was in the 90's when the facility was still with its original owners (Chevron). I feel especially connected to the documentary because Moro is where the air strip is, the air strip on which I land and from which I depart every 28 days. After you've watched the video for background, let me talk about some of the common problems the PNG nationals face that impact on work and my relationship with the them.

1. Being Distracted at Work

Often, the locals have terrible events happening back home when on shift, some of which are unimaginable to people who live in developed or more civilised countries. For instance, my operator had his house burnt down due to tribal warfare and another operator had a child injured by a stray bullet during one of those skirmishes. At the worst, they have to take emergency leave to deal with those problems and then we have to scramble to back fill them. When we all have a specific role to play supporting the live facility that makes the company the most money, this becomes a great challenge and usually results in me having to assess the risks of not doing some work or doing something else instead.

Domestic violence is also extreme in PNG. I once heard that a husband instructed his wife not to let the pigs at home escape and the wife failed to do that. As punishment, he cut off her ears and put a spear into her leg! This was something a colleague actually "witnessed". Gruesome? Yes. Abnormal? No. A focussed mind is paramount in the oil and gas industry as we're dealing with hazards that can kill multiple people in an instant. With such issues to worry about back home, how can they not lose concentration especially when performing routine tasks? Hence, my role (amongst many others) is to be extra vigilant and watch what they do with a second pair of eyes.

 

2. Getting Offended & Acting On Impulse Too Easily

In short, they take things too personally and as a result, they get into all sorts of shenanigans on site ranging from fist fights over disagreements to romantic affairs and all the fun repercussions of jealousy and sabotage that come with such rivalries. Even being mindful of basic things like email/corporate-etiquette is a tall task for some of them e.g. two of my operators who were unhappy with their performance ranking sent a complaint email on separate occasions straight to HR and cc'ed the manager 3 levels above them, without discussing with their immediate lead first. A lot of these problems are hidden i.e. the workplace is literally a minefield with very unhappy people (and worse still, some of them are out to get you), so you always have to take greater care when communicating to those you're not that close to.

In addition, in a predominantly patriarchal society, they find it really hard to take commands from female leaders unless they have grown together through the ranks from bottom up. To make matters even more "exciting", there are people who game the system (think along the lines of females accusing males of sexual harassment when innocuous flirting that started well goes awry). All these human problems need to be dealt with by the team leads which essentially take them away from the actual work of removing hydrocarbons from the ground and selling it. And no prizes for guessing correctly who picks up the slack.

 

 

I have more to write on this topic, so there is a part 2 to this (here). Now, let me go enjoy my last bit of doing nothing before madness starts.