Musical journey (116)

The impact of COVID-19 permeates all areas of life and not spared are relationships.

For budding relationships, physical intimacy is greatly curtailed and this is bad news for those pursuing one night stands or quickies meant to provide instant relief. Whilst this completely throws off the business models of hookup apps, the porn industry becomes even more important than how it already was before the pandemic. If you ask me, porn producers and actors are essential workers. In the dating world, by preventing people from jumping into bed as a reflex action, they are made to connect on an emotional level more than usual which can only enhance relationships.

At the other end of the spectrum, long-term domestic relationships are put under more strain than ever simply from just partners and their kids being forced to be in the face of one another 24/7 with the office and school closures. Although this inevitably gives rise to more breakups and cases of domestic abuse, it could also make straight couples procreate more due to all this extra time on their hands as they try all means to alleviate boredom. When this is all over, maybe the lives the virus has taken away might just break even with the surge in birth rates, assuming the healthcare systems globally can cope with both at the same time.

As you can see, there are two sides to every equation and it's up to the individual to fill his or her mind with positive or negative thoughts while navigating the road of life with COVID-19. Speaking about relationships, a sad love story is at the centre of this month's musical piece in which a man clearly knows there's no point in asking why after a breakup because nothing is going to bring his love back. Though the story behind the song is made up, we've all been heartbroken before and the need for an explanation in this situation is all too familiar, not least because we need closure.

As the protagonist searches desperately for a reason to no avail, he also tries his best to move on. This is the most difficult part of the post-breakup journey especially when you feel you have no one to turn to for help. Through this song, I hope to bring to the fore these raw and brutal feelings of helplessness and despair, and through the clip, I hope it provides the sense of freedom we all sorely need during this prolonged isolation period.

[为什么]

词  /  曲 : 锦泉

为什么， 为何要问为什么
人来人往， 分了又合， 重蹈覆辙
为何还在问为什么

谁晓得， 他扮演的狠角色
把这故事变得曲折， 让人忐忑
可结局它也未免太扯

为你疯了， 值不值得
还记得那首歌
我们常一起哼着
你不再是我的
爱已走了
为什么，心还活着

不哭了， 不都说好不哭了
照片标记要删除呢， 还是留着
回忆丢了我还剩什么

手空着， 是错的
手握着， 责任你却无法负荷
虽然这是你的选择
我还是舍不得

被掏空了， 怎能愈合
我不再唱情歌
那一切都是假的
痛越来越深刻
爱已走了
为什么，心还活着


[Why]

Why, why do we need to ask why
People and relationships come and go
And we make the same mistakes repeatedly
So why are we still asking why

Who knew the role of the villian he played
Could twist the plot, creating such anxiety
And make the story's ending so ridiculous

Was going crazy for you worth it
I still remember the song we used to hum together
But you are no longer mine
Love has left so why is my heart still alive

Do not cry, we have agreed to not cry
Should I untag you in the pictures or leave them be
If I lost those memories, what else would I be left with

How do you recover from being completely hollowed out
I no longer sing love songs because they are not real
The pain is now cutting deeper and deeper
Love has left so why is my heart still alive

Friends through Facebook

Tomorrow marks the start of the second month of working from home and I'm starting to really like all aspects of it except for the inability to just hop over to a colleague's desk for a quick discussion and meetings being subjected to internet speeds. There's a viral meme that says "you are not working from home; you are at home during a crisis trying to work". It rings so true especially for parents who feel the most stress with schools closed down statewide. That being said, as long as bosses are not being unreasonable, this can all be sustainable.

So far I haven't personally seen any outrageous project manager demands on maintaining the same productivity but it's early days especially when my projects are still not at crunch-time yet (i.e. a few weeks before major deadlines). I'm still kept relatively busy but the sharp drop in oil price and investor confidence is going to hit my company really hard in one or two months. I've lots of leave accumulated for these scenarios which prevents joblessness but a wage freeze is something I can't avoid and it'll happen (again!!!). More than half of my working life in Australia saw wage freezes whilst inflation (albeit not high) continued, and very soon I'll hear the "at least you're still employed" tagline phrased in all sorts of euphemistic ways again from management. I'm just counting down the days till that happens.

Resource planning in these crazy times is exponentially more difficult because the department is so splintered right now. This results in some being overworked while others twiddle their thumbs. I'd rather be in the former situation and feel fortunate that I'm not required to do that planning job. I want to always be able to blame that planner when my projects don't get the resources they need (hehe).

OK that's enough doom and gloom for now. This post continues my "Through Facebook" series and it focuses on my catch-ups with friends during my Singapore trip which seems so long ago in this new COVID-19 timeline that we all live in now. I don't have many close friends in Singapore and I always go back to those few whenever I'm back.

Good friends don't need to see one another all the time to maintain that closeness and those featured in this post are testament to how well this can work. I'll see all you guys again when the virus dies and global travel normalises. The daily infection rate is almost a thousand in Singapore right now so please stay safe my friends.

This is the Christmas house party of last night. I've not been to one of these for ages and I must say it was unexpectedly quite fun. Thanks Pascal for the invite!

 

Finally a picture of one of my catchups. I've forgotten to take so many! Thanks YingYing, Jay, Cindy, Adeline!

Three ex-colleagues have just caught up, reliving those laughter-filled after-work socialising sessions, 13 years ago. How time flies.

High school friend of 25 (!) years, it's been great catching up with you again today! 别来无恙哦! 可是我们都老了.

Nice to finally meet you Tom! Now I know why Jared can't get enough of you.

It's been a long time but it's been great to catch up with you before our KL trip.

Karaoke-ing in a pub popular with bears and singing my heart out!

What a good run, post-run breakfast and catchup this morning. Thank you exercise buddy. See you next time I'm back in Singapore!

 

It's been too long, I love you guys so much!

PS: Can you spot Ivan in the picture?

And we're off! So looking forward to feel the outdoor sun sans clothing once again in my home country!

I guess there's a first time for everything i.e. fetching a friend's child from preschool, stroller and all. #TheGayestDaddyIfIWereAParent

Nice catching up again after 3 years. Good luck in your 377A case. So proud of you!

Catching up with Phoebee typically includes a house-visit and playing with Evan these days. It's a good thing I did it today as I got to try non-pizza associated food delivery service for the FIRST time! Plus I finally got to savour the famous White Beehoon from White Restaurant to see for myself why it's so famous. #SeeYouAgainHopefullySoonBestie

Family through Facebook (part 2)

Today is Easter Sunday and the government has just announced that Victoria will extend the state of emergency till 11th May. Usually a four-day long Easter weekend would feel very different from my usual routine but with the lockdown, it doesn't. Of course it's a no-brainer that I'd be gaming four days in a row putting the hours into "Final Fantasy VII Remake" (I'm currently at chapter 16, the third last one). Once I complete that, my original plan was to move straight to "The Last of Us: Part II" (due to be released at the end of next month after two delays) but that has been delayed yet again and this time indefinitely! Damn you COVID-19! Fortunately I can go back to "No Man's Sky" now that the game's repetitiveness has been temporarily alleviated with the recent "Exo Mech" free update.

Like my gaming non-work routine, the one I follow on working-from-home days is just as fixed and predictable. They say one of the ways to cope with prolonged self-isolation is to create a new routine and stick to it. To me, this is obvious as a homebody introvert who loves routines, so here's my lockdown time table from Mondays to Fridays.

0630: Waking up and getting fully awake checking Facebook on my phone
         in bed
0645: Home gymming session using the exercise band and body weight (2
         muscle groups a day for 4 days)
0745: Breakfast (usually of toast with spread or cheese and instant coffee)
0845: Getting into the work mindset (e.g. going through the work plan for
         the day, connecting through VPN—I don't dress up differently for
         work)
0900: Start work (I usually work through a simple lunch that takes very
         little time to make e.g. sandwich or microwaveable meals)
1700: Cardio (a jog at either the oval or park near my place—thankfully
         that's still allowed)
1730: R & R (gaming, watching downloaded videos, etc.)
1830: Dinner
1915: More R & R
2030: Easing into bedtime by checking Facebook on my phone in bed
2100: Sleep

This is a routine that I'm very comfortable with and I don't find working from home distracting at all. That's because I'm always very focussed when I'm at work regardless of location and that means no snacking and no taking breaks. A lot of people are worried that they'd put on weight over this period but not me, in fact I'm getting leaner. Not spending an hour a day on the commute to and from work means I have more R & R time too. All in all, I think this lockdown is really working out for me.

The only thing is travelling will not be on the cards for a long time as hot spots popping up one after another in different countries continue. This means that international borders would have to remain closed for at least six and more likely twelve months. As you know, I don't travel a lot for leisure and I do it mainly to catch up with my Mum and I'm unsure in the face of COVID-19 when we'll see each other again. Well at least I have pictures from part 2 of the "Family through Facebook" series (part 1 is here) to relive my recent time with her. I'm sure she'll miss the outdoor times we've spent together too not least because Singapore is undergoing lockdown as well (they call it "circuit breaker"🙄).

Out gallivanting with Mummy and shopping is the best way to spend this rainy afternoon! #BoughtMummyANecklace

Of all the local delicacies I've had outside, Mummy's cooking is still the best. Lunch is now served, in the most perfect way. 

PS: I packed the unfinished bits for dinner tonight as I will be out.
#BraisedShiitakeMushrooms #ChilliSquid #BBQPorkFriedShrimpNoodle #BakKuTeh

My vacation days in Singapore are numbered so I have to grab every opportunity to savour home-cooked dinners, simple or otherwise. #WholeChickenHainaneseStyle #Acar #FooChowFishballSoupWithTongHo #ILoveYouMummy #BestCookInTheWorld

Heading to the "countryside" on a day trip with Mummy. Be prepared for more fun-filled pictures!

First countryside stop. I love being Mummy's personalised photographer. #SheLovesPhotoshootsMoreThanMe #PrettyOrNot

Second countryside stop. The croaking is a little sleep-inducing.

Third country stop. More photos of Mummy but this time with fruit trees, a yummy and reasonably-priced lunch and an offer of permissible nudity which I surprisingly didn't take up (too many mosquitoes haha). #BackToNatureAndLovingIt #ValuableTogetherTimeWithMummy

I'm so glad I could enjoy the Don Don: Donki experience before my trip ends. It wouldn't have been fun doing it alone. #MummyIsMyPartnerInCrime #TheFreakingJingleDrivesMeNuts

Last stop of the day. A free night-time exhibition at the most scenic location in Singapore. #teamLab #PerfectWeatherTonight #WhatAFulfillingDay #IWillMissYouMummy

Last chance for one of my most endearing childhood morning rituals—shopping for the day's groceries at the wet market with Mummy.

As I start the unenviable task of packing, at least I'm comforted tonight by this simple dinner Mummy cooked with the groceries we bought together this morning. #StirFriedCeleryWithSquid  #BraisedPigsTrottersAndEggsInDarkSoySauce #ChilliFlowerCrab #RadishAndCarrotSoup

Got a little teary-eyed when I said goodbye earlier. Mummy I promise I'll take good care of myself and come back as soon as I can. You've been fun Singapore but after 6.5 weeks being away, let me get back to my life now. #IWillMissYou #SeeYouSoon #BaoIAmComingHome

PS: Masks are available at Guardian post-check in (limit to 4 masks per passenger with boarding pass). There's still hope in this world. Oh I still have 28GB data left...

Family through Facebook (part 1)

The COVID-19 situation is so fluid that a week seems like months in terms of global developments. This week, New York became the new epicentre for the disease and Singapore initiated "circuit-breaker", which is just another fancy word for "lockdown" which was intentionally not used perhaps because it doesn't want to give an impression that it's closed for business. Singapore is a country who always deems the protection of its economy as the number one priority but I'm not sure if COVID-19 managed to topple that.

Meanwhile in my home state of Victoria in Australia, we have commenced Stage 3 lockdown, meaning we can only leave home for essential reasons. Fortunately that includes exercising provided you limit the session to two people i.e. I can still go out for my solo twice-a-week jogs. There's a lot of room for interpretation of these lockdown rules and everyone's trying their creative best to navigate them. The best one I've heard in order to continue hookups is to have a "tradie" come over to do some work at your house (which is allowed if it's real work). Of course social distancing has to be observed and so sexual contact is a big no-no but still that porn fantasy gave me a chuckle (we all need a little lightheartedness especially now).

To me, the biggest confusion is the definition of "essential". Put simply, if the government doesn't order the closure of all non-essential shops, then us going out to shop at those establishments is allowed. That was the reason I had on the ready when I went to collect my pre-ordered game this week should I be stopped by the police. Luckily I didn't see any on the visibly empty streets and the ghost town-like shopping centre and I got my hands on "Final Fantasy VII Remake". This game was made available in Australia a week before the official release date of 10-April due to some coronavirus-related shipping reason. Finally COVID-19 is good for something because I've been playing it intensively and time in self-isolation flies by so fast.

As an introvert and homebody, self-isolation is totally normal for me. I really hope after this crisis is over, more people will realise the importance and validity of a non-social life and hence lessen the societal stigma placed on introverts. That being said, social distancing shouldn't include the people living in the same household because more than ever, we need the love and support from our families as much as they need us in these crazy difficult times.

Talking about family, this post continues my "Through Facebook" series but from a family perspective. As a big part of the three F's (family, friends, food), spending time with my Mum was very high up in my to-do list (on par with food, hehe). In two parts (part 2 is here), I shall share the joy I got from re-connecting with Mummy and the rest of my family.

A mother's love knows no bounds. Making me post-winter solstice (冬至) glutinous rice balls (汤圆) at 5am in the morning when I arrived from the airport.

Mummy has such a green thumb. Spring onion, long bean and bak choy amongst other pretty flora. I'm sure she's very proud of her horticultural prowess. Well done!

First home-cooked dinner this trip to fuel up for my 5-day Bangkok holiday tomorrow. #PrawnOmelette #ChilliLala #HomegrownBakChoyEnoki #MummyIsTheBestChefEver #CookedWithLove

Mummy sporting the bag I bought her from Bangkok. Ain't her a good model? #MumIs75Already #StillLookingGreat

PS: I've always wondered how much harder my coming out would be if my father were still alive. I guess I'll never know.

53 years ago, 2 lovebirds got married and out came me 11 years later. Mummy & Papa, you looked so great together. #ILoveYouMummy #ILoveYouPapaInHeaven

Wait! Today is the first day in Singapore I've not had at least a cup of kopi-c. What's happening??! Anyway it's all good for now because I had this homecooked dinner tonight prepared with love by Mummy. #StirFriedCucumberVermicelliDriedShrimps #BraisedPorkMushroomSeaCucumber #StirFriedBakChoyEnoki #SteamedSaltedFishCenturyEggMincedPork #SweetPotatoRedDateDessertSoup

PS: Here is the link to the first part of this new busking series.

The advantage of planting your own veggies - healthy organic meals without having to shop for groceries! Great job Mummy!

A day out with Mummy dearest.... starting now!

Happy day at Jewel.

Best WhatsApp message I've received in months! #IMissYouTooBoo

Family durian dinner. Itadakimasu!