Saturday, December 31, 2022

FIFO life 2022 / Musical journey (148)

From the Southern Highlands of PNG, let me squeeze in a final post on the eve of 2023.

As I grow older, it's easier to make me contented. You can say I'm getting lazier but I see this as a sign of growth and maturity, and is in line with my ever-decreasing tolerance of bullshit and drama. You can clearly see this from my blog posts of late as updates become more minimal and mundane. This also means that my work life has gradually become more exciting than my non-work life which I never expected would happen. In this last post of the year, I'll share some photos that will give you a taste of what happens at work and how FIFO life has been for me for 2022.


As a rotational worker, there's lots of flying and this is me on an Air Niugini flight when the mask requirement was still in place (thank goodness it's not anymore). This is the first time I flew business class for work but they didn't serve any food in the name of COVID restrictions (which was bullshit as it was simply a cost-cutting measure), so I didn't really enjoy the full business-class treatment.


2022 saw yet another round of company restructure when the organisation I joined last year got acquired by another company. Naturally, people would be let go and this was the farewell party for one of the biggest boss on site after many years of service. We sent him off at the airport too and had the fire truck spray water over his departing flight as it taxied on the runway. He must have been so touched.


I don't eat very well in the day when at work as the cribs as we call them (basically pre-packed lunches) are not good but we get to eat well at the main mess for dinner. In fact, food choices can get a little over-the-top during festive celebrations. Pictured here is the spread we had on Christmas night. I guess this is the only way the company can compensate us for having to spend the holiday period on site. 


Lots of flying means lots of time spent in airports. This is Cairns Airport when we still had the charter flights. The company wanted to reduce costs with them but because occupancy was so low, each ticket turned out to be ten times more expensive than a seat on a commercial flight. This charter service ended soon after it was introduced and now we're back to transiting in Brisbane on Qantas.


Apart from the gym on site (which unfortunately is closed for renovation at the moment), there are many ways to exercise and one of them is to walk from the plant back to the camp after work. Because of the rugged terrain and the fact that you can only walk at a pace to suit the weakest member in the party, the journey takes about 90 minutes. On my right is one of my bosses (a silver muscle daddy). He stole a glance once when I took off my top jogging with him and that made my day. By the way, I don't keep my finding him hot a secret to his back-to-back!


Under my care in PNG are two oil and gas plants, a refinery and an offshore platform. This was me on a helicopter flight to the platform and it was my first trip to that work site. I aim to drop by once every other hitch but there had been various restrictions that stopped me ranging from COVID breakouts, helicopter damage, bad weather or simply being too busy. Hence, I've been there only once. I'll continue to try visiting in the new year.


On Sundays we have a good lunch feed at the plant and we call that "Sunday barbecue". This is the thing that keeps us sane as we have to put up with bad cribs through the week. The barbecue pictured took place just before the major planned shutdown in April this year. The original idea of the barbecue was for us to cook the raw meat as a group and socialise in the process but over time, the cooking responsibility fell on the shoulders of the same few people and they got unhappy. Since then, the food comes delivered already barbecued. And yes, we always overeat every Sunday.


COVID restrictions made travelling to work extremely tough. I absolutely don't miss the PCR tests and paperwork that I have to put up with as I prepared for an upcoming hitch. This green band was to indicate that we've been tested and confirmed negative before we were allowed in the camp. This band is simply a small circular sticker now that most restrictions have eased.


A snap from the volleyball tournament finals when I went to support my team. I usually sleep soon after dinner i.e. before 8pm and this event was way past my bed time but I had to be there to cheer them up. My team won the match and the tournament, so it was all worth it.


This was my first post on LinkedIn where I gave everyone a glimpse of my work life. A lot of the people in the picture have moved on to other roles. One thing that didn't change from my previous 2014 - 2016 stint in PNG was how cheerful and spirited the people always are, despite the tough work conditions. And yes, this photo was taken during one of the Sunday barbecues.


We have to be put up in a hotel often due to flight schedule changes and bad weather. The hotel is called "Airways" and is next to the Jacksons International Airport in Port Moresby and is supposedly the best hotel in PNG. Pictured is the best room-type I was once allocated. Not too shabby huh? I usually also get to stay a night there before I fly home which is a perfect chance to decompress and adjust back to civilisation.


This is me on the offshore platform and stealing a moment for a selfie! The food there is really good as the team is small and so the chef can focus on cooking well instead of worrying about feeding the masses. There are also snacks available around the clock. How I wish I were working there every day!


This is what locals call a "mumu", a celebration as a reward for our efforts during the planned total plant shutdown. "Mumu" is essentially a method of cooking where you bury food in the earth and apply heat with coals. We had two pigs cooked that way in a nearby village (home of one of my colleagues) and boy was everyone happy! 


This is the view from the block where I stay in the camp. No filters needed. I sometimes pause for a moment to admire the view. Although being in the Production Team means I sometimes only get back to my room when it starts to get dark, you also get rewarded with the perfect sunset when the timing's just right.


I actually spend more time at work than at home (including travelling time) so you kind of have a second family on site. For the first time in my work life, I actually have genuine care for my colleagues (especially one of my bosses), which makes work so much more fun. This is us celebrating Christmas in the plant office.


Life is never boring in PNG as operational issues crop up constantly e.g. we're currently in the initial phases of a prolonged plant outage required to rectify pipeline integrity issues. The good thing about being on FIFO is no matter how tough life is, it's all going to end after four weeks, albeit temporarily. You recharge back home and then do it all over again. It's not for everyone but I love it.

To conclude 2022, here's this month's musical offering which is my rendition of a very popular song  called "追" by the late Leslie Cheung. This song was made famous by the Hong Kong movie "金枝玉叶" ("He's a Woman, She's a Man"). I performed this when I was busking with my sister three years ago in Singapore (my previous busking clips can be found here: 1 2 3 4). Enjoy the song as well as the festivities. and here's wishing a Happy New Year and best wishes for 2023!



Wednesday, November 30, 2022

Musical journey (147)

Following the announcement that Section 377A of the Penal Code will be repealed in Singapore in August as mentioned in this post, it's officially been repealed yesterday! 29th November 2022 shall be the most important date in Singapore's gay history and to be honest, should be a day for the whole community or even country to celebrate annually in the future, like a gay public holiday.

One of the biggest reasons for my leaving Singapore is the fact that I couldn't live an honest life there and I wasn't patient enough to wait as I believed I won't be afforded equal rights in my lifetime. Fast forward 14 years and there's this first step in the right direction. Granted it's progress, it's still evident that things are moving too slowly. As an indication of how slow it's been, the history around 377A since its inception in 1938 when Singapore was still under British rule is neatly summarised in this article.

Unless there's an extremely unlikely chance of exponential development from here on, I wouldn't consider moving back. This is especially because the Constitution will be amended to protect the definition of marriage as between a man and a woman from legal challenges i.e. my marriage with Ision will never be recognised in Singapore.

Ever since coming out in my early twenties, I felt increasing alienation in my home country. My way of thinking, though absolutely normal to myself, was seen as too fringe and radical by society. My sense of self was so strong that there was no way I could find my identity in Singapore. Interestingly, if I were born in this age where people lived on social media, I'm not sure if I'd still make the same decision of leaving because social media could be a legitimate refuge.

This month's musical post is a new composition celebrating my sense of identity in today's world where I urge everyone to not blindly follow anyone or any movement. As views become more polarised, it's important for one to stay true to oneself and be mindful of echo chambers so you don't get trapped in them. Listen to your own voice and let that be the truth. This song mixes English and Chinese lyrics and has many of the elements of my past works all combined into one neat package which I'm pretty happy with. Tell me what you think!



[我不要比]

词 / 曲 : 锦泉
 
FB, IG 的世界少了些 originality
你的照骗修到你不像人
又有什么意义

只活在网路里,寻觅欢喜
这只是 make-believe
装神弄鬼,自欺欺人而已

Please let yourself breathe
You'll see life
其实可以很容易

我不要比, I just wanna be 自己
不费吹灰之力
表里如一, you get what you see
你不高兴, 我才懒得去理

活在我影子里,不必得意
要抑制 jealousy
我劝你还是早一点放弃

Please set yourself free
You'll thank me
放飞自我翱翔万里

我不要比, I just wanna beat 自己
就是那么臭屁
知己知彼, I am my enemy
势均力敌, 打得才会过瘾

You wanna be woke, don't wanna be broke
If you don't do a thing, you're nothing but a joke
Fake tan, fake news, fake friends, fake tush
Have faith in yourself and let that be the truth

你是否还在犹豫,是否还在考虑
自我怀疑扰乱了情绪
牛鬼上帝蛇神帮不了你
因为凡事都得靠自己

我不要比, I just wanna be 自己
不费吹灰之力
表里如一, you get what you see
你不高兴, 我才懒得理

我不要比, I just wanna beat 自己
就是那么臭屁
知己知彼, I am my enemy
不到最后, 不知谁会胜利


[Don't Wanna Compare]

Written By: Kim
 
The world of FB and IG lacks originality
Photoshopping your pics till you don't resemble a human
What's the point

Living only online looking for happiness
This is only make-believe
Your pretending to be someone else fools no one but yourself

Please let yourself breathe
You'll see life can actually be very simple

I don't wanna compare
I just wanna be myself
It requires no effort
Identical inside and out
You get what you see
I don't care if you're not happy

Living in my shadow
You shouldn't be proud
You need to control your jealousy
Take my advice and quit sooner than later

Please set yourself free
You'll thank me
Let your sense of self soar

I don't wanna compare
I just wanna beat myself
Yeah, I'm that cocky
Knowing myself and my foe
I am my enemy
It only means something if you fight one as strong as yourself

You wanna be woke, don't wanna be broke
If you don't do a thing, you're nothing but a joke
Fake tan, fake news, fake friends, fake tush
Have faith in yourself and let that be the truth

Are you still hesitating or still considering
Allowing self-doubt to affect your mood
Demons, gods or Jesus Christ can't help you
Because you can only depend on yourself

I don't wanna compare
I just wanna be myself
It requires no effort
Identical inside and out
You get what you see
I don't care if you're not happy

I don't wanna compare
I just wanna beat myself
Yeah, I'm that cocky
Knowing myself and my foe
I am my enemy
You won't know the victor until the end



Monday, October 31, 2022

Musical journey (146)

Hello to you all on the eve of my 44th birthday here in the highlands of Papua New Guinea! Yes yes, I know I'm ancient! 👴👴👴

Work is same old same old crazy but what's disappointing is although there's some beefing up of security, work at the remote sites are at a standstill and is slowly affecting my plant. You see, 4 employees were kidnapped while I was on break and the hostages were only released after 6 days. Perhaps these changes in security protocols need a much longer time to fully implement especially in such a challenging area, so I'll be patient, much like how I need to be waiting for the new organisational chart to be finalised.

I was told this security incident was due to the age-old issue of locals being owed land payments that have nothing to do with the company but seeing that the employees are there, they're used as leverage. I hope I don't ever become a victim. This is why expatriates working there are paid that salary because of such risks, amongst other hardships they have to endure like poor living conditions and long periods away from family.

My current hitch is a slightly longer one as I have 3 days of training in Port Moresby at the end so there's plenty of hotel buffet food to look forward to. Frankly I'd rather go home earlier as I don't really need those extra calories plus "God of War: Ragnarok" would be waiting for me to play. I seriously hope they'll fork out the overtime payment, like what they have "promised". I might also try to shift that training to a later session that suits my roster better (I need to talk to my manager about that).

Speaking about my manager, in the new organisational structure, I no longer report to my current managers but I was told that it's still "business as usual". Erm... how can it be "business as usual" when the entire reporting line is changed?! Well, we shall see. I was told the new organisational chart will be out tomorrow but I'm certainly not holding my breath for that!

And now it's topless KTV time again! This month features a number from my all-time favourite singer Faye Wong titled "你在终点等我" or "You're Waiting for Me at the Finish Line", and is the soundtrack from the 2016 Chinese movie "从你的全世界路过". What drew me to this song were the first 2 verses which sound really heavenly the way Faye sang it—listen for yourself here.

Now that there's absolutely no COVID restrictions remaining in Australia (not even the need to self-isolate if tested positive), I think it's time to plan a topless KTV recording session back home sometime as I'm dying to show some flesh again as summer approaches (the previous posts can be found here: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7) but I need to lean up first! I wonder how many people actually post clips like that on YouTube. I for one have not seen any yet so let me know if you have.


 

Thursday, September 29, 2022

Musical journey (145)

You know I've been wanting to go home yet can't find enough motivation? This problem is unfortunately getting worse. As a person who is not into travelling, the COVID restrictions and the fact that I already fly frequently for work are all contributing factors to this lethargy. The "final nail in the coffin" is the high prices as everyone wants to travel to Singapore now that there's no more quarantine requirements. Scoot, a budget airline, can charge more than a thousand bucks one way!

Regardless of how much I miss Singapore food and my mum, I just can't find the energy to go, especially now that work has changed the charter flight schedules yet again, thereby creating uncertainty around my rotational dates.

Coincidentally (or maybe ironically), many years ago, I wrote a song about wanting to return home (figuratively). That was a time when there were constant family quarrels as I struggled with issues of coming out at the same time. In the song, I wrote about the home that I remembered where everything was rosy. That was when I was young and still naive and it was growing up and the realisation that the real world was so cruel that killed the image of that warm loving home.

Fast forward 23 years, I've now refreshed that song with a new tune and it's time to take you on this musical journey for September 2022. Enjoy!



[回想 • 回家]

词 / 曲 : 锦泉
 
想起了从前
一眨眼就十几年
想回到过去
我人却在异乡
回不了从前

那温馨的画
如今已褪色风化
每一次想到这里泪水
情不自禁偷偷流下

让我回家  回家
回到我原来那个家
那是个最美丽的地方
没忧愁没哀伤
我当时为何没珍惜它

我要回家  回家
我不惜付出任何代价
事实总是催人成长
但我宁可回家
也不要这么快长大

那是个什么
什么样子的时代
那时候我们活得多愉快
叹好景已不再

我不忍目睹
摆在眼前的错误
我心里却深深地明了
真实世界冷冷的残酷

让我回到从前的家
好吗


[Missing Home • Returning Home]

Written By: Kim
 
Thinking back
More than ten years pass in a blink
I want to go back to that time
But I am in a foreign land
And I cannot return

That warm and loving portrait
Now faded and worn
When I think back
Tears always fall uncontrollably

Let me return home
Return to that home I remember
That is the most beautiful place
Where there is no worry and sadness
Why did I not treasure it in the past

Let me return home
I am willing to pay any price in return
The truth has forced me to mature
But I would rather return home
And not grow up so fast

I wonder what that period is
When we lived so happily
Alas good times never last

I cannot bear to see
The mistake in front of my eyes
I now understand deep in my heart
How coldly cruel the real world is

Please let me return to the home I remember



Sunday, August 28, 2022

Musical journey (144)

The Singapore government has announced this month that 377A will be repealed thereby decriminalising consensual sex between adult males!!! As someone who has spent his ten adult post-coming out years being a criminal, this is something worth celebrating. Although the constitution will now be changed to not allow the definition of marriage to be altered (i.e. will remain as between one man and one woman *yawn*), we should not be disheartened as the repeal of 377A has shown us that nothing can't be successfully challenged and that the autocratic government can indeed change. And like what the pic says—let's now aim for the sky and start our fight for our right to get married just like everyone else!

I'm now almost halfway into my 6th PNG rotation and winter is coming to a close back in Melbourne so I look forward to wearing less when I get home. I also tend to venture outdoors more when the weather gets warmer (even at night! 😅). That includes outdoor "fun" if you catch my drift. 😉 But that will have to wait as I'm stuck here at work where there's still as much uncertainty in the air as the time of my last post. I think things will get better only towards the end of the year but I'm not holding my breath as we all know how slow progress usually is post-merger/acquisition when it comes to changes to people and systems.

Talking about end of the year, many say that property prices will be at their lowest then (due to interest rate rises aimed at curbing inflation) but I never trust such predictions, not after economists foresaw a pandemic-driven drop in property prices (the opposite happened). In the meantime, I hope interest rates continue to rise to grow my nest egg. Seeing that I no longer have the goal of an early retirement (I'd be bored then) and I have no kids to provide for, I don't really need that much money to take on unnecessary risks. You see, I'm a very non-typical Asian as my only "investment" is savings in the bank.

That being said, the next major change in my life will be when Ision and I eventually move to the house that we'd be settling in for the long haul. My life now is really flat-lining in terms of excitement and you can tell by my blog posts (or a lack thereof). Although I've always said that I crave stability and a routine lifestyle, I'm starting to wonder what I should do in life other than to continue working, earning and saving. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that (I still love saving a lot) but maybe a little change might do me good?

Perhaps these questions stem from what we call a mid-life crisis since I'm at that age. This is such a good subject for a song too (* noting this down on my spreadsheet * 😊). I guess the thing that will never change is my passion for song-writing. That's my creative avenue to relieve stress and boredom, and I'm fortunate to have this in my life. I just shared my creations with more of my colleagues yesterday and they all loved my music! This month's musical post is a cute Mandarin composition on how much a husband wants his wife to stop nagging. This is a perfect summary of many straight long-term couples and thank goodness Ision and I don't have this problem. Leave a comment if you love this number!



[碎碎念]

词 / 曲 :  锦泉
 
别再说那么多
你多说就多错
懒得去费力气反驳
只会嘮叨啰嗦
胜过妈妈婆婆
不翻下白眼会难过

公事已够繁琐
看人脸色过活
回家竟还不能摆脱
亲爱的    哦  拜托
求求你别烦我
休息一下明天再说

是非八卦无法躲
谁跟谁睡
失恋崩溃
哪几个是整形鬼

一句接一句
电量从没低过
关小声点
少喝一点
哦  不要再碎碎念

别去想那么多
忍一下就会过
反正也没想要逃脱
选择一起生活
是我自找折磨
只怪抗压能力太弱

当初犹如花朵
如今变黄脸婆
若没感情怎能渡过
亲爱的听我说
我很爱你没错
但请你饶了我耳朵

一句接一句
机关抢没停过
开车慢点
打扫快点
哦  不要再碎碎念

为何不能少管我
耐不了你
快疯了
哦  神啊救救我


[Nagging]

Written By : Kim
 
Stop talking
The more you say, the more mistakes you make
But I'm lazy to talk back
Your droning and long-windedness
Is even worse than old women
If I don't roll my eyes, I'll feel upset

Work is already so burdensome
After being at the mercy of others' demands
I can't even shake that when I come home
Honey, oh please
I beg you to not bother me
Take a break and continue tomorrow

Can't avoid the gossiping
Who's sleeping with whom
Heartbreaks and breakdowns
Who have had too much plastic surgery

One sentence after another
Battery never once low
Turn it down
Drink less
Oh, please stop the nagging

Don't think too much
Tolerate a little longer and it'll all pass
Since you're not planning to leave anyway
My choosing to live together
Is me choosing torture
Blame my poor ability to withstand stress

You used to be a flower
But now you're no longer good-looking
If there weren't love, how could we have survived
Honey, please listen to me
I love you, don't get me wrong
But please have mercy on my ears

One sentence after another
The machine gun never stops
Drive slower
Clean faster
Oh, please stop the nagging

Why can't you leave me alone
I can't stand you and I'm getting crazy
Oh god, please save me



Thursday, July 28, 2022

Musical journey (143)

Looks like the announcement of that "major good news" in my last post was made perhaps a tad premature. My company is undergoing huge organisational changes and although such changes can uncover new opportunities, things are a little too uncertain. There's still a chance that I'll get what I want but I'd have to wait till the dust settles a bit before I can really see clear enough to make my next move. Hope my patience doesn't run out!

Winter is the season to be sluggish at home and grow some fat cells. Because it can get so cold sometimes, it makes you not want to leave the house. That being said, I still stay steadfast to my exercise regimen i.e. twice weights and twice cardio a week. I know my body well enough to know that I can quite easily get back into the shape I want and continuing to keep fit is key to the ease of these bodily transitions.

Without a new game to play after the completion of "Elden Ring", my time vegetating at home is spent writing songs and watching YouTube videos. I have an extremely boring and predictable life and I don't dislike it. I guess our partners do influence us to a large extent. If Ision were an outdoorsy person, I'm sure I'll be spending a lot more time in the sun with him (by the way the sun a.k.a wrinkle-giver is his mortal enemy). Anyway, now that I'm back on a 4/4 rotation, my break is shorter and so that's all the more cause to enjoy my time doing absolutely nothing.

Another reason why not venturing out is a good idea is because COVID is once again spreading here in Melbourne. Although I'm eligible for a second booster, I don't think I'll get it unless my company mandates it which is unlikely. This is because of the side effects I always suffer with COVID jabs and I don't yet see the benefits of getting the fourth vaccine compared to that. I hope travelling is not once again made difficult by this virus as that will add a whole lot more pain flying to and from work.

Speaking about flying, I do miss Singapore but having not travelled for leisure for so long (since COVID started), I feel really ambivalent about going home even though I miss my mum and the food so much. Money is not a factor at all, I just need a strong reason to book that air ticket and I'm still looking for it.

Another thing I miss is busking in Singapore and now that busking is once again allowed, perhaps this can be one of the draws for me to make that trip. This month's musical journey is a cover of "菊花台" (original by Jay Chou 周杰倫). This was recorded when I was busking with my sister during my last Singapore visit in 2020 (other posts in this busking series are here: 1 2 3). Hope you like it.



Thursday, June 30, 2022

Musical journey (142)

A quarter into my fifth PNG hitch marking the end of the first half of the year, this is me again lodging another blog entry. Sometimes I ask myself why am I still doing this and if anyone is really looking at the things I post. I then quickly realise that I'm now only doing this for myself (it wasn't like that when I first started this blog). This re-iterative process seems obvious but I do need this mental loop now and again as a reminder.

By the way, there's MAJOR good news at work, however I think it's too early to reveal details but WATCH THIS SPACE!!! 

As the world continues to opens up as COVID numbers and inflation figures climb, we're now on the home stretch in the year that just arrived moments ago. I'm glad that there's now global acceptance of "necessary deaths" when it comes to COVID and that we can move on as a civilisation. I'm also happy (unlike many) with high inflation as it means interest rates will rise (which benefits frugal and conservative investors like me who rely on bank deposits). I just hope the stock market performs better as recent crashes adversely impacted my superannuation fund (like many others in the country).

Also, now that I'm back on the normal 4/4 rotation (with pesky PCR tests requirements being history), I can start to plan for trips back to Singapore (I'll book the tickets the next time I see cheap flights that suit my schedule). I've been watching a lot of street food videos on Facebook and boy do I miss Singapore food. It's also high time I see my mum who is one of the two most important people in my life (no prizes for guessing who the other person is).

I've been gaming through almost all of my last break and now that "Elden Ring" (i.e. the most difficult and frustrating game for me to date) is completed, I think I'd be able to socialise more for my next one (the upcoming game I'll be indulging in will only be released in October). Gaming can be scary as it consumes me once I start and I even neglect my other passion of song-writing which is something I need to get back to.

Although I've not produced new completed compositions lately, I do have a lot of recorded pieces that I've not posted yet and I'll be sharing one of them today. This one titled "That's Why" is a fictional love story that writes of unrequited love as the protagonist stubbornly stays in the "friends zone" hoping that one day the love of his life will change his mind. I've written this to be a commercial piece and it can be fun doing that sometimes. I also recently discovered that there's another song using the same tune. Have a listen to mine and then his (link here) and then let me know who you think did it better.


[That's Why]

I don't want to be your friend
But I don't wanna be foolish and let this end
I just want you to hold my hand
Should I or should I not keep up the pretence

Please don't tell me you're not worthy
'Cos we both know it ain't true
Please stay the night
'Cos no one kisses like you do

Help
I am crashing deeper into this spiralling madness

I can't let this die
Even when my falling tears know it's time
To say goodbye
I'll never let go
I don't know why

Help
Someone save me from this never ending pain and darkness
Or let me savour this bittersweet and everlasting sadness

I'm tired but I'll die
Holding onto something
I know will never be mine
'Cos I love him
That is why

That is why I try
That's how I get by
That is why I cry
This is how I'll die



Tuesday, May 31, 2022

Musical journey (141)

Now halfway through my break, I'm back in cold Melbourne, one day before winter but already feeling the deep freeze. This is not a complaint though as I'm super glad to have left PNG before plant start-up which now has been successfully completed (see this post for some of the issues I had to deal with before I left for my break). We'll see how much cleaning up remains when I head back towards the end of next month.

Fortunately, we finally go back to a 4/4 rotation and I hope it stays that way. Now that the plant shutdown is over, I'm also expecting a whole slew of organisational changes and redundancies to sweep across the company due to a recent acquisition. I've been told site personnel will not be affected and I do believe that's true but you never know with these things. Fingers crossed I guess.

This is just a short post as there hasn't been much changes happening. I'm still a hermit (even more so during winter) and still gaming (now playing the very difficult but interesting "Elden Ring"). I've also written some new songs and they are waiting to be recorded (I'll aim to have them completed before I head back to work).

This month's musical post features the next topless KTV clip (the previous posts are here: 1 2 3 4 5 6). In this clip, you'll hear me covering Taiwanese singer 張韶涵 (Angela Chang)'s "还" which means "return". Her songs are always a challenge but this album is really good and that's why I picked this to cover. Enjoy!


Saturday, April 30, 2022

Musical journey (140)

Work is super crazy at the moment on site with the total plant shutdown in full swing. There are non-stop issues emerging everyday due to inadequate consultation with the end users (i.e. us) during the design phase of the projects we are executing during the shutdown and very poor planning. I was expecting this from what I've seen during normal operations but it's much worse than expected. The situation has now literally imploded and has laid bare the process inefficiencies, work silos and people's ineptitude we've always put up with. Oh, and the constant finger-pointing is truly getting on my nerves!

This is also the time when people show their true colours, be it offensive and unprofessional behaviour when under stress or real technical prowess when called to solve problems within unrealistic time frames. I have encountered and put up with the former whilst exhibiting the latter. I'd say I'm coping rather well despite the even longer working hours and the inevitable fatigue (we're not allowed to take our entitled time off). I still have a little less than two weeks to slog through this messy frenzy and I know what I'd say for sure if they asked me to extend my current hitch to cover plant start up!

When I do get time off on site, I always write a new song and this has become a great new habit of mine to decompress and do something that's as detached from work as possible. This month's musical journey features a song I wrote years ago when I was still desperate to find someone to settle down with in Singapore after having just came out. I was young and impatient then so there was a lot of rushing and me being overly-eager and hence failures. Feeling increasingly disillusioned and depressed, this song was born.

Looking back, I've actually not changed much as I'm still that person who believes in love albeit my version of love is now extremely different. You see, I've only really had two real relationships i.e. one with Greg (may he R.I.P.) and one with my husband—tell me how that's not being true to love (me and hubby will hit our 15-year anniversary in less than a week's time). I'm a million times more mellow now and so I can never write with such angst again. I hope you'll like this creative outburst of a painful longing for love, a feeling I'll (gladly) never experience again.



[圈里]

词 / 曲 : 锦泉

不知从何涌起 
一股电浪冲向心里
干枯疲乏的心
随着澎湃的热量跳起来
让蠢蠢欲动的心
吸进我找到的勇气
尘封已久的灵魂
允许了阳光透进来

我浑身颤抖
慢慢习惯
慢慢跟随着常理

走进这圈里
看见的只是生机
一个接一个的
但很快地
捷径途中只有死胡同
一个接一个的

不知从何涌起
一股力量冲向心里
但在镜子面前
又像从前一样懦弱起来
一面镜子就让我
丢了刚找到的自信
怎能又留在圈里
又能从框子逃出来

我浑身流动的
是劲
是喜
是自由
我已分不清

走进这圈里
看见的只是生机
一个接一个的
但很快地
捷径途中只有死胡同
一个接一个的

急性的我又怎能在
负数边缘从零开始呢
不起眼的我只能张大眼
继续盲目地越陷越深

我仍在圈里
日夜招呼着过客
一个接一个的
却不断地在汪洋中
眺望靠岸的舟
一对接一对的


[In the Scene]

Written By: Kim

I don't know where it surged from
This wave of electricity straight to my core
This shrivelled heart full of fatigue
Started beating with this pulsating energy

Allowing this heart bent on making trouble
To breathe all this new-found courage in
My soul long covered with dust
Could finally let the sunlight in

My whole body trembling
Gradually adjusting
Gradually following the rules of this world

Stepping into the scene
All I see are opportunities
One after another
But very quickly
While taking shortcuts
I see only dead ends
One after another

I don't know where it surged from
This wave of power straight to my core
But in front of the mirror
I'm back to being
Weak and cowardly again
If a mere mirror
Could destroy this new-found confidence
How can I stay in the scene
And still be able to escape from this restrictive world

Is my whole body overrun with
Vigour
Joy
Or freedom
I can no longer tell

Stepping into the scene
All I see are opportunities
One after another
But very quickly
While taking shortcuts
I see only dead ends
One after another

How can the impatient me
Start moving from the negative towards zero
The unremarkable me can only open my eyes wider
And continue to blindly sink deeper

I'm still in the scene
Entertaining passers-by day and night
One after another
While endlessly afloat in the ocean
Looking at the docking ships
One pair after another



Sunday, March 27, 2022

Musical journey (139)

I'm in my final few days before I head back to work and I must say I'm quite happy with how my break went this time. Of course other than the fact that I didn't contract COVID (I did have my booster a week ago), it had a good balance of gaming (completed "Horizon: Forbidden West", socialising (made a new friend from a nudist event), song-writing (recorded three previously-written pieces and one new one, all with very interesting concepts), partying (*ahem* I guess I can't say too much here 😉), belated Chinese New Year home hotpotting (Ision and I so need to do this more), and even partook in home-improvement (we now have a new wardrobe in our bedroom).

 

A weekend road trip with new friends to Sunnyside nude beach and Mornington
 

The loading screen of an amazing sequel gaymers and gamers have been waiting for almost 5 years
 
 
Hotpots can actually be healthy, especially when done at home with loved ones
 
 
The new repository for our clothes a.k.a a not-so-cheap endeavour
 
 

Moderna booster done along with another obligatory gun show
 

Before I return to work mode dealing with handovers, packing, PCR tests and other painful reminders that my break is ending, here's a quick musical post featuring a cover of a great song by 薛之谦 (Joker Xue), a singer/song-writer from China (my previous covers of his are here and here). This song is titled "我好像在哪见过你" which directly translates to "I Think I Have Met You Somewhere Before". There are a few singers whose new albums I have to download the moment they're released and he's one of those singers.

My next post will be from PNG most likely during one of the biggest events on site i.e. a major plant shutdown so I hope hiccups are kept to a minimum (oh there will be some if not many, I assure you). Till then, enjoy!


Monday, February 14, 2022

Musical journey (138)

Today is a day worth celebrating and that's not only because I'm going home for six weeks after my third hitch in PNG but it's also Valentine's Day. COVID has made the world a lonelier place and although as an introvert who's married I'm not that affected, I can imagine loads of singles out there struggling. As a fellow "struggler" for many years, I can totally understand that pain.

Hence amidst the doom and gloom out there, this month's musical offering is positive and bright. It writes of a magical love story right from the start when boy meets boy in a bar. They dance and they drink and they fall madly in love. What follows is a passionate time in bed which is when both parties know they've found the one.

This is not a fairy tale as there are many lasting relationships that begin with a simple "how are you". So for those still fighting the good fight, don't give up and you'll too find it one day. Just remember that starting a relationship is the easy part, it's the compromise and sacrifice that come next that's hard but that's what keeps it going.

On this hallmark holiday, from the Sydney Domestic Airport, I wish all of you a Happy Valentine's Day as I head home to my bear bear for lots and lots of blissful snuggling!



[My Lucky Day]

Slow down a little, I'm going too fast
If I don't chill, I'm not gonna last
Gotta learn from my mistakes of past

Damn he's so beautiful
But what if I'm just being delusional
And what if he says no

Across the floor, he's looking my way
Gotta stand tall, is this my lucky day
Like an emoji, I crack a smile on my face

He didn't run for the door, he's coming my way
Never before, I've turned into prey
And with "how are you", he has made my day

One G & T, turned into three
A little tipsy, those big round eyes are making me
O-M-G

So wanna take him home
But I don't know if he is attached or alone
I need to give him my number to phone

There on the floor, lit by laser rays
Under mirror balls, locked in a tight embrace
Heartbeats caught in a magical race

Kiss me some more, he gladly obeys
All else ignored, our cares fade away
Spin me around as the night turns into day

We're still not close enough somehow
I want you in me right now
To make love, not just a mindless plough
I'll show you what heaven's all about

Look into my eyes, our bodies entwined
Straight to your heart as your love touches mine
Two souls merge into one, we're reaching new highs

Now you are mine, and I'm a part of your life
Everything's never been so right



Sunday, January 30, 2022

Musical journey (137)

When I'm at work, I do 13-hour days for 7 days a week so you can imagine how drained I am at the end of each day. I have no energy to think of anyone or anything other than sleep when I get back to my room after dinner. I wake at 4am to get to the gym before work and on the eve of my only exercise rest day in the week when I can sleep slightly later, I give Ision a video call.

Of course with COVID, everything's made worse. There has been an outbreak of cases in the camp lately but thankfully this time they're taking a pragmatic approach and not isolating all close contacts. Contact tracing is done via interviews hence only a small number of close contacts have been identified and so far I'm not one of them. This means that I get to continue using the mess and gym which are VERY important to me (lousy packed food and weak muscles SUCK). Well I can always rely on my still-unrecovered-completely loss of taste if packed food is all I can have. 

Poor office ergonomics has also exacerbated an existing neck ache and now it has spread to my shoulders and upper arms. I've just gotten a desk-extension to allow me to stand while working so hopefully that will improve my condition as the pain can be unbearable at the end of a long day. When I'm at work in PNG, one day passed is another day closer to home, and that way of thinking keeps me motivated and sane. 

That's all the whingeing for now. This month's musical offering is a brand new composition telling a fictional story of heartbreak. I intentionally used very strong words in ths piece to express that raw immense pain when you're betrayed by someone you deeply love. I wish this on no one but sadly, it happens all too often. I guess such episodes help us learn more about ourselves and what we actually want in life and that can't be a bad thing right? I hope you like the song and I'll catch you again soon.



[从缺]

灰色世界    通通瓦解
冷却    冻结
沉默永不凋谢

心已决裂   你位子我已歼灭
从缺   隔绝
来不及告别

现实中   睡梦中  
空气中都是你的面容
顺时钟   逆时钟   辗转中甩不掉你影踪

你不公    你不忠   你不惜代价肆意玩弄
我不从    我不容   我不想再被记忆操控

心跳中    呼吸中   血液中思念循环流动
被嘲讽    被掏空   被你打击却不能喊痛

说不通    搞不懂    为何撒谎都言不由衷
好空洞    好沉重    在死胡同里何去何从

迷失荒野   无日无夜
哽咽   昏厥
伤得轰轰烈烈

不顾一切   残酷又冷血
剥削    凌虐
如此地卑劣

灰色世界   通通瓦解
冷却   冻结
沉默永不凋谢

心已决裂  你位子我已歼灭
从缺   隔绝
来不及告别



[Emptied]

This grey world
Completely annihilated
Cooling, freezing
Where silence never withers

The heart has split
And your place in it has been destroyed
Emptied, separated
No time to say goodbye

In real life
In dreams
In the air lies your face
Clockwise, anti-clockwise
Tossing and turning in bed
Cannot shake away the traces of you

You were unfair
You were unfaithful
You gave your all to wilfully play

I will not obey
I will not tolerate
I do not want to be controlled by memories anymore

In my heartbeats
In my breaths
In my blood flows thoughts of you

Ridiculed by you
Hollowed out by you
Struck by you yet not allowed to scream in pain

It cannot be explained
It cannot be understood
Why are you not even sincere in your lies
So inane
Yet so heavy
Where do I go next at this dead end

Lost in the wilderness
There is no night and no day
Choking with tears
Feeling faint
Wounded spectacularly

Recklessly
Cruelly and cold-bloodedly
You exploit
You abuse
So despicable