Thursday, June 30, 2016

No more

No more missing boo for a month and going through the pain of leaving him every month.

No more hugging my substitute-boo i.e. my bolster every night and saying “night night boo”, “I love you” and “I miss you” to it.

No more being in a constant unsettled state of countdown.

No more having to endure small talk with people you don’t like and have no common interests with 24/7.

No more being made to feel anti-social by sitting at one corner of the mess just because I don’t like to play the political game via socialising.

No more withdrawing into my shell and feeling depressed for not fitting in.

No more omnipresent body odour everywhere you go.

No more talking to people who really don’t understand you completely.

No more dealing with lazy and extremely-overpaid people who are just there to do the bare minimum while cruising through their pre-retirement work journey.

No more working on a project that is on the lowest priority list of everyone required to help you complete it.

No more work given to you with no clear directions.

No more feeling like a second-class citizen which happens every time you get seconded to a client’s site.

No more lack of phone communication with boo because of having not a phone assigned to me.

No more having to carry all your stuff with you from site to site like a nomad.

No more having to untangle your laptop wires every morning.

No more stocking of bananas collected over lunch as a snack between meals due to the fixed meal times and having the bananas go bad.

No more unstable Internet, phone network and TV reception.

No more room equipment that does not work.

No more risking your life by talking chartered flights on poorly-maintained (and smelly) aircrafts.

Yes, that is why I am so happy to not have to fly back to Papua New Guinea last week and forever.

That being said, I will miss the food and the fact that you don’t need to cook and clean, not to mention the higher pay with zero commute to work and the ability to take short holidays during the four-week break while earning free frequent-flyer points. The bottom line is we all have to eat and pay the bills so we have no choice but to put up with a job that we all don’t like. If the job market wasn’t that miserable I would have gladly chosen a 9 to 5 job over the fly-in/fly-out roster any day but the depressed climate makes a beggar of us all.

What is the future installed for me? Will I be able to get back to being an engineer? Do I have no choice but to change my career path? Seeing how bad the Australian job market is currently, I think it is time for some drastic changes. Is this going to be a crisis or the best opportunity in my life? Watch this space, OK?

In the meantime Ision and I have just gotten the keys to our new apartment and we'll be moving some time next week. With us no longer renting, we no longer face the risk of being forced to move when the owner wants to sell the unit which means that at least one uncertainty will be removed from our lives. This relocation is also timely as it keeps me busy otherwise staying at home these days with no work will drive me crazy (out of anxiety, not boredom). My next entry will be posted from our new place and I’m so looking forward to settling into it!

Thursday, June 16, 2016

Musical journey (71)

I’m sure all of you would have known by now the senseless mass shooting that took place a few days ago in Pulse, a gay club in Orlando Florida where 49 were killed. Investigations into the gunman’s motives are still underway with the plot thickening as time passes. Regardless of whether he supported the so-called Islamic State or his internalised homophobia for being unable to accept his own homosexuality that pushed him to commit this horrendous killing, the root cause of this tragedy remains the same and it applies to hate crimes and human right abuses against the LGBT community all over the world.

Admittedly the issues around gun control played a part in this mayhem but it’s the ignorance, hate and bigotry against us that’s fuelling this violence. More often than not at the core of this deep-seated homophobia is religion, or rather their warped version of religion. If you think the gun control problem in the States is a tough nut to crack, the problem of wrongly-interpreted religion propagating hate is unfortunately far more difficult (I daresay impossible) to solve. Recently a Singaporean man made a post on social media threatening to open fire on gays which made it evident that one can just as easily unleash hate of the same degree with a few taps on the keyboard as the pull of a trigger.

However no solutions will be offered in this post because the aim of this entry is to remember the lives lost in Orlando and to celebrate the fortitude and resolve we have in the LGBT community that has been further strengthened by this event. Although there’s no simple solution to this problem, there were still plenty of things people tried to do to help them make sense of it all. Some chose to hold or attend vigils while others partied extra hard to show the haters that they could.

This heinous act has inspired me to compose which is the way I chose to express how I feel towards it. Pulse is a gay club which I think is a place of significance for many in the community and so what I wrote is what I see as the perfect night out at the club. This is the sexiest English song I’ve written to date and though some might find it cliché as it has all the usual references to hot gyrating men, drugs and sex, this is the scene and message I want to sear into the minds of the haters–we are gay, loud and proud and we are never backing down. Oh, and let this also be the anthem for all of us this Pride month.

Writing this song is what I did in response to what happened in Orlando. What did you do?

[All Night]

Stand before me
Watch me get it on
I'll put on a show
It'll be better than porn

You gotta know my ego's
Not as big as what's below
So tell me
Is it a yes or no

Tick tock tick tock
Time is running out
I'll let you in
So you can't find your own way out
Energy abounds and the music's getting loud
Put your hands on me
And I want you to make me shout

Let's do it right
C'mon do me all night
Let's get it high
Push it harder all night

Get me wet
Not just with your sweat
Turning me on
You're the hottest fuck I've ever met (had)
Can't get enough
When I'm on my knees and you play so rough
So nasty but that is what I love

What comes after that
Just pop it in
I bet you will have no regrets
Arms up so high
And our heartbeats' chasing light
Don't wanna stop
Let's push it up another notch

Let's do it right...
Let's get it high...

I get higher with every pound
Of my heart's not coming down
Deep inside me you are now
And I'll never let you out

Let's do it right
C'mon do me all night
Let's get it high
Push it harder all night