Mummy's in the house

As you know, married life can sometimes get a little routine (and hence the lack of updates on my blog) but September came someone to break the stable monotony. I thought I did not miss her all this time being away from home but when she arrived, the all-too-familiar nagging started and that really felt like home, something that I miss. And yes, I am not ashamed to admit it–I am a mummy’s boy and I miss my mother.

Ision and I slaved two days before over cleaning the apartment and I must say it was at its cleanest when she came. On the day of my mum’s arrival, seeing no sign of her 40 minutes after her plane landed got me a little worried but it was just a crowded airport slowing things down (we all know how efficient Australians are). Seconds into our meeting it was as if we have not been apart at all and the warmth of family and motherly love penetrated me deeply.

I did not plan for a trip back to Singapore originally but seeing that air tickets are so cheap now, I booked a flight back over Chinese New Year 2010 after arranging for my mum to come. I intend to take a month off from work for my trip home so I had to save my vacation leave for that. This meant that I could only show my mum around in the weekends. I felt bad leaving her at home doing nothing other than watching television, cooking, strolling in the neighbourhood and of course stuck with someone whom she was separated from by an almost insurmountable language barrier. However I am sure she would enjoy seeing me very much when I am back home next year so conserving my days off is of utmost importance.

Did I mention cooking? Yes I did and boy did I miss home-cooked food prepared by my mum. When I took my first bite of home-cooked goodness in more than a year, my expression was one of relaxed ecstasy. It was soothing, exhilarating, warm and loving all at the same time. It was a feeling that is hard to describe and Ision thought my reaction to the food was rather amusing. It was a pity I did not take any pictures of the glorious dinners prepared by the number one chef in my heart. Here is a partial list of what my mum cooked for Ision and I.

- Pork ribs in dark soy sauce with tau pok (fried beancurd) and hard-boiled eggs
- Fried wantons stuffed with minced pork and mixed vegetables
- Claypot rice with chicken drumsticks, salted fish, Chinese sausage and carrots
- Fried vermicelli with cabbage, carrots, dried shrimps and onions
- Curry chicken Hokkien noodles with potatoes
- Pumpkin omelette
- Pork siew mais (dumplings)
- Fried fish with chilli, garlic and spring onions in a dark sauce
- Thinly-sliced pork fried with capsicum and onions
- Fried rice with Chinese sausage, crab sticks, prawns, salted fish, omelette and onions
- Minced pork ball soup with cauliflower, mushrooms, baby carrots and konnyaku
- Yang Chun noodles in black bean sauce with pork mince and steamed gai lan (Chinese broccoli) in abalone sauce
- Fried minced pork balls with cooked salted egg yolk centre
- Dry wanton egg noodles with ikan bilis (dried anchovies) soup
- Sweet and sour pork with fresh tomatoes
- Fried celery with prawns, mushrooms and onions
- Fried ngoh hiangs (minced pork and prawns with five-spice powder wrapped in beancurd skin)
- Hainanese chicken rice with steamed chicken garnished with cucumber and tomatoes

Being an avid cooker and eater, Ision naturally wanted to learn how to make some of the dishes that he relished so much and so at my request, mum dictated the ingredients and steps to make those mouth-watering treats with which I quickly filled many notebook pages. Ision told me that he has not tasted Hainanese chicken rice as delicious as the one my mum made from scratch. Well you are in luck for here is the amazingly-simple recipe:

Ingredients:
- 1 whole chicken
- 2 cups of jasmine rice
- 8 – 10 cloves of garlic
- Ginger (half the size of your palm)
- 1 tablespoon of salt
- Lump of rock sugar (1/3 the length of your index finger) (or 1 teaspoon of normal sugar)
- 1 cucumber
- 3 tomatoes

Steps:
1) Mash 7 cloves of garlic and ginger and form a mixture with the salt.
2) Evenly coat the chicken with the mixture and stuff the remaining bits into the chicken.
3) Fill 1/3 of a wok with water and once the it boils steam the chicken with high heat for 10 minutes.
4) Continue steaming the chicken with low heat for 20 minutes. The chicken will now be cooked.
5) Using the water in the wok (now containing juices from the chicken), steam the rice in a rice cooker. Add more water depending on how soft you want the rice to be. Taste-test the water mixture before steaming the rice and fine-tune according to taste. Just before steaming, add sugar, 3 garlic cloves and a slice of ginger into the rice.
6) Steam the rice till the water is dry and serve rice with cut chicken, garnished with cucumber slices and tomatoes.

Although I did not take pictures of the food, I did take a lot of pictures (mainly of mum) when we were out and about in Sydney. We roamed every nook of Chinatown, snaked through every cranny of Paddy’s Market, smelled flowers in the Royal Botanic Gardens, soaked in the sights along the sun-drenched Darling Harbour, posed outside the Opera House, people-watching at the Kings Cross red light district, visited The Australian Museum, strolled in Hyde Park, shopped at Paddington, explored the Sydney Fish Market and dined at a typical Aussie pub. Knowing that Sydney does not have a lot to offer to tourists (the beaches are not my mum’s thing, we did not have time for the Star City casino and I find Blue Mountains far too lame or is it simply just too far?), our visits were restricted to the city but that does not mean we did not have fun. And we have the pictures to prove it.

Frolicking in Chinatown. Mum did not expect Sydney to be so Asianized. I think that made her worry less about me being in this “foreign” country.

Spending an afternoon at Darling Harbour. Mum felt strange that Aussies love the giant gas ball so much that they picnic not in the shade but under direct sun. If they did this in Singapore she said, people will think that they are crazy.

We had to visit the red light district in Kings Cross especially when I live less than five minutes away. Nothing much was happening as we were there too early (it can get unsafe late at night with the gangs, drug addicts, drunkards and homeless people) but we did see some interesting people, if you know what I mean.

A panoramic shot with the two most famous Sydney icons taken using the new Sony camera being advertised via free shots uploaded onto the Internet. The perfect weather with the azure sky is one of the things I like most about Sydney.

Another nice shot of the Opera House. Mum loved this picture because of the intimacy between us. It was nice showing her around even if we only visited the tourist spots.

How could we let a yum cha opportunity pass with Ision off work on a Saturday? Being a very good cook, mum felt that this top-notch dim sum restaurant in Chinatown was only average. I think I agree with her to a certain extent but Ision loved it (surprise surprise).

I find mum very cute in this sort-of candid picture. We were at the Royal Botanic Gardens and were looking at all the species of flowers that we have not seen before.

Another city shot that mum liked a lot which I thought was too posed. This was taken after we witnessed a section of the bridge physically turn to one side to let tall ships pass.

The Sydney Fish Market was new to both of us and the time spent exploring it was the most enjoyable in the 16 days we were together. Mum loves to eat octopus a lot. I am not sure if that was reflected in her facial expression.

A fun-loving mum is what she is. The full length of the fish could not be captured from where I was standing (it was packed!) but it could easily be as long as her. My mum loves shopping but not in the conventional sense–she likes to shop for food, especially stuff that is not available in Singapore–what a great housewife.

When at the Fish Market, you eat lobster, plain and simple. My niece back in Singapore yearns for lobsters (having not had it before) and this picture was taken to make her drool.

Many visits to Paddy’s Markets were made to amass the ingredients used to make those yummy dishes. $270 was spent on groceries alone during her trip. In this picture, she was amazed at the size of the chilli.

Sauntering in Hyde Park and a photo op. She walks really slowly because her knees are not strong so it was hard catching up to her slow speed whenever we go out (here or back in Singapore)–she was always more than 3 steps behind me. I guess I must learn to relax more in this country famous for its laid-back lifestyle.

I took a sick day off work on Monday so that I could spend more time with mum and we visited The Australian Museum. Of course this museum was nothing compared to the Smithsonian I was at some years ago but it helped to burn a number of hours in this boring city. This picture was taken at the extinct animals exhibit and she could not help but get a little cheeky with her pose.

A long relaxed shopping trip to Paddington landed us at the Paddington Markets. You would think that a “market” would have cheap things on sale right? Well you now know why we ended up with nothing bought. Mum was impressed by the variety and design of the hand-made fashion accessories though.

This was taken on the last day hours before we went to the airport. I felt really close to her and that I would miss her a lot after she is gone. As for the pose of this picture, I have always wanted to do something like this. My mum is surprisingly light!

On the roof-top of my apartment where we could see the Opera House and Harbour Bridge. They did not both appear in the picture because no one was there to take it for us and the timer shot had a very restricted angle. Nevertheless I really like this picture–looking at it instantaneously brings mum to my side again.

Many nights were spent at home watching downloaded horror movies and snacking on the couch as the Sydney night life revolves around drinking which mum doesn’t do. On one night we were watching while downloading and as soon as the movie was downloaded, we started watching it. Ah... I will miss my fellow horror movie buddy.

A snapshot of how my fridge looked like when mum was here. We had 3 major rounds of grocery-shopping which constantly stocked the fridge. Ision liked the sight of the packed fridge, something which the apartment has not seen before. I still have some of the food left untouched–better use them up soon.

The wonder chef at work. As she is quite short, the high stove meant that her arms and shoulders got tired very quickly and the aches were there throughout her trip. A mother’s love knows no bounds... And Ision should know how lucky he was to benefit from her dedication and culinary expertise.

Toiletries belonging to mum, me and Ision. This picture concisely depicts how well the three of us shared the small apartment. From the picture, how smooth do you think things ran?

Having mum living in our apartment which is strictly meant only to house two people, it got a little crowded and inconvenient at times (I did not feel this way though). With people thrown into tight quarters, friction inevitably caused frustration and things I was unhappy with happened. Fortunately it did not get out of hand and my mum’s trip ended on the same happy note it started on. We were both a little sad and misty-eyed when the last day of her trip came as I sent her off at the airport. But we will see each other again in 4 months and in no time, she will be nagging at me again to take a shower, clean up the house or something else that I will ignore.

Home-cooked food, curling up on the couch watching horror movies with the lights off, exploring new places together, my mum’s loving voice and touch. I thought I did not miss all of these–I guess this is not the first time I get myself wrong.

My first demonstration

“Gay, straight, black, white. Marriage is a civil right.”

That was one of the three sets of chants that were repeatedly heard amongst the attendees of the almost-3000-strong demonstration I took part in last Saturday. My first ever demonstration. Perhaps this is one of the “joys” of living in an open society where freedom of speech and the right to protest are respected. But if Australia were truly an open society, why was there a need to hold that particular demonstration in the first place? In case you still do not have a clue what I am fighting for, it is the legalisation of same-sex marriage in Australia.

You might not be aware of this but the definition of “marriage” has been re-written in major dictionaries of the world. Quoting the Merriam-Webster dictionary, here is the definition of the word.

“1a: (1) the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law (2) the state of being united to a person of the same sex in a relationship like that of a traditional marriage
1b: the mutual relation of married persons: wedlock
1c: the institution whereby individuals are joined in a marriage
2: an act of marrying or the rite by which the married status is effected; especially: the wedding ceremony and attendant festivities or formalities
3: an intimate or close union”

So before you formulate any thoughts for or against same-sex marriage, please note that the very meaning of marriage has already been redefined. But what should the proper sequence of events be? Should the acceptance of same-sex marriage in society come before or after the redefining of marriage? This question is really a litmus test that sets the difference between true democracy/the upholding of human rights and political power-play that merely gives the illusion of democracy/the upholding of human rights. The best leader a country can get is one who takes care of his or her entire country even when that very act is against popular opinion. But sadly, the majority of the world’s leaderships is nothing more than a selfish contest for the spot to be at the top. Think Nelson Mandela versus George W. Bush.

“Hey hey, ho ho. Homophobia’s gotta go.”

Before the above chant filled the air, the aforementioned demonstration began with various groups setting up stalls to canvass for the support of same-sex marriage as an immense crowd started to gather at Town Hall Square before the rousing speeches began. Although the issues that were brought up by the speakers were nothing new to the GLBTI (gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered and intersex) community, it was a chance for still-ignorant passers-by to get a taste of the plight of their fellow mates. At the end of the speeches, the electrifying atmosphere in the air was ready to explode as the chanting got louder and faster. Then commenced the march to Darling Harbour, where the ruling Australian Labour Party was holding its annual conference discussing issues that the country hold dear, including the issue of same-sex marriage. The spectacle of it all was beyond anything I have seen. Placards, banners and flags, policemen stopping traffic to free the entire George Street for the demonstration, the chanting, the indignation. Enough is enough I say and there I was in the thick of it, putting action to words.

The march

A flavour of how the world stands when it comes to same-sex unions. (Click for an enlarged version)

As you can see, Australia seems to not be performing that poorly in this regard. This is especially so since last month when in the areas of taxation and superannuation (the CPF of Australia), the definition of “spouse” has been extended to include all de-facto partners, same-sex or otherwise. FYI, de-facto relationships in Australia refer to unions outside of the man/woman categorisation of marriage. Ision and I are currently by definition in a de-facto relationship automatically but we still need to keep some proof of our relationship in case it gets contested (eg. joint banking account statements, leases with both names, etc). Some Australian states also have a relationship register that formally documents de-facto partnerships in a certificate so that it becomes much easier when the legitimacy of the relationship is put into question (eg. when visiting your partner at the hospital). The state I am in (New South Wales) is to set up a relationship register soon. Discrimination in all other areas like pension, employment, housing and so on have also been abolished. Indeed, Australia seems to be doing quite OK especially for same-sex couples who do not want to have kids (it is still a very big legal hassle at the moment to make everything legitimate if two homosexuals want to start a family). This then begs the question. If there seems to be equality on almost all planes, what is stopping full equality exactly? Before you know it, more questions ensue. Does it make sense that a “legitimate” relationship can actually be placed in the shadow of doubt? Should we simply accept this unequal equality and forever hold our contented peace? With regards to the concept of equal human rights for all being tainted by politics and religion, is there an essential difference between Australia and Singapore?

“What do we want? Same-sex marriage! When do we want it? Now!”

As the chants reached our extremely touristy destination, we made so much noise and gathered so much attention (from the media and onlookers) that officials from the Labour Party conference had to come out to see what the fuss was all about. We were told that Prime Minister Kevin Rudd (a Christian by faith) was having lunch when the demonstration was at its climax when it was announced that despite everything, it was decided that the ban on same-sex marriages enacted in 2004 by the homophobic John Howard government was to stay. But that did not stop 80 or so same-sex couples from getting hitched in a mass illegal wedding with real vows and a real pastor. This was really an eye-opener for me and was certainly one of the high points of my residence in Sydney so far.

At Darling Harbour

As the couples sealed their illegal marriages with kisses, I could not help but feel a little depressed that Ision was not there with me (I would make us one of those couples otherwise). Ision’s stance on marriage put simply is that there is no point in doing it if it is not legal. Of course that logic cannot be refuted but a symbolic wedding would nonetheless still hold a lot of weight in my life. Ision also made it clear that he wants us to live together for 3 years before moving on to marriage (that is understandable especially when some of his past relationships ended with love and fidelity not being issues). In addition since we both dislike children and will never have them, getting legally married is not that an urgent need for us. Again that logic sits well in my brain but my heart still pumps with unsettled fervour created by the unfair laws of the land and the impatience of wanting my love for him to be sealed in some way.

Mass Illegal Wedding

However all that has to wait. At the end of our 3 years of cohabitation (the official date being 21st June 2011), if the laws were still against same-sex marriage, we would still want to go ahead with our marriage in the British embassy (Ision holds a UK passport). And as soon as it gets legal in Australia, we will convert that British document into an Australian one (UK does not have same-sex marriages but civil unions which afford couples exactly the same rights as heterosexual marriages). It is only a matter of time before that happens for I have faith in the country I chose to live in over the one I was born in. Following the signing of that piece of paper, we will also hold a wedding ceremony in both Singapore and Australia. Of course a honeymoon trip (to my dream holiday destination, Japan) will be thrown in as well. You might be wondering why are homosexuals trying to follow a heterosexual's formula of living and going to such great lengths to battle over this concept of marriage, of which more than a third ends in divorce. But don’t all couples want the world to observe and celebrate their love for each other in an ultimate act of commitment as well as its legal recognition? Is that too straight a dream to pursue? The very thought of asking that question sets off pangs of unrest in me. Shouldn’t marriage be sugary sweet instead of something played out in a bitter battlefield?

The demonstration came to an end that weather-perfect winter afternoon three hours after it began and I returned home to be in my partner’s arms where all the angst of the day dissolved in an instant. Perhaps love is the only thing worth fighting for in this world. And it warms my heart to know that that war for us has long been won.

How well do you know me?

I have finally got my arse off the seat and created the “How well do you know me” quiz on Facebook, something that I have always wanted to do. Of all the useless and nonsensical stuff on Facebook, I think this is the most meaningful and that was why I put some effort into coming up with this twenty-question quiz. I will give the “model answers” here along with short write-ups so that all of you can understand me that much more. If you have not taken the quiz on Facebook, you can have a go here before checking out the answers.

1) At what age did I write my first song?
a) 4
b) 13
c) 17
d) 23
e) 30

In the first year of junior college when opposite-sex crushes were high in fashion, writing love notes and poems were very common. I jumped on the bandwagon and started writing songs as well. I don’t remember who I wrote the song for and where that song is right now though. 1995 - 1996 was also the time when the Taiwanese singer/song-writer 熊天平 (Panda Xiong) got famous and he was the person who ignited my love for song-writing.

2) How many long-term relationships (> 1 year) have I had?
a) 2
b) 4
c) 6
d) 8
e) 10

My first long-term relationship lasted for 7 years and many of you would know who that person is. There were a lot of small ones that lasted for several months along the way but all of them did not make the mark and in the process causing much heartaches and tears. My next one was with Ision. So far it is 2 years plus and counting!

3) Which of the following places have I lived in?
a) Queens
b) New York City
c) Brooklyn
d) New Jersey
e) The Bronx

I lived in New Jersey for about one and a half years when I was part of a government-sponsored training attachment programme in the pharmaceutical industry. Some of you answered Brooklyn and you are partly correct. I was dating a guy then who lived there and I stayed with him during the weekends. Those were the days when I would roam Manhattan streets aimlessly soaking in all the sights and sounds the island had to offer. I really miss that place!

4) What was the biggest letdown of my 4 years in university?
a) Not finding a relationship on campus
b) Not staying in a student hostel
c) Not spending more time partying/less time mugging
d) Not getting my 1st-class Honours
e) Not pursuing a music-related degree

I have been whining about this for a long time to some of my friends so they must be quite sick of hearing this. Well I only have myself to blame for I offended my research project supervisor big time and he did not give me a good grade in the end. I just needed a grade level-increase and I would have been there. Even a formal appeal amounted to nothing and I practically wasted four sacrificial years of soul-breaking hard work. The worst thing is that some of the 1st-class Honours recipients that year were quite mediocre compared to me!

5) What is the body part that I am most proud of?
a) My hard 6-pack
b) My logical brain
c) My strong thighs
d) My romantic heart
e) My soft hair

Almost all of you got this wrong and of all the wrong answers, this aggravates me the most. I know I have been obsessing over my abs ever since I got them but if you truly know me, you would know that the thing I pride myself most upon is my logical mind and how I can see things in life clearly as a result of having that. Some got this right and you deserve a pat on your backs!

6) What sort of video games do I like to play the most?
a) Sports
b) Puzzle
c) Strategy
d) Arcade
e) RPG

This is one of those trivial questions that I must throw in to make the quiz not seem so heavy. I only restarted playing computer games after getting the Xbox360 a year ago and so I do not expect many of you to know the correct answer. I used to play PC-based RPG games exclusively when I was a young teenager but found that they were too addictive and decided to stop playing altogether to concentrate on my studies. What a good boy I am!

7) What do I want most in my life currently?
a) Securing a loving relationship that lasts forever
b) Being able to buy whatever I want
c) Becoming a famous singer/songwriter
d) Sharing life with close friends
e) Having a job that I have passion for

This is the first trick question (well, sort of a trick question with the operative word being “currently”). I already have a loving relationship right now that I know will last forever (or at least that is what I will continue to strive for all my life). And since I have buried my dream of becoming a singer, the next thing would somehow have to be related to my career. Chemical Engineering was chosen not out of passion but necessity and as discontented as I am at my profession, I am also reluctant to get out of this practical comfort zone. So I guess the way to go is to make the best out of a worst-case scenario and at least work towards not sucking at my job. Some of the jobs (unrelated to music) that I can see myself doing (but not necessarily doing it)–personal trainer (low-paying unfortunately), soft-porn star (don’t be shocked…) and social escort (…because this is coming). Looking at those choices, I think I should either focus on my current job more or seriously consider branching into music as a song-writer.

8) What is my favourite colour?
a) Purple
b) Pink
c) Orange
d) Red
e) Green

This is yet another one of those trivial questions. Purple has always fascinated me because it is neither red nor blue but something that I can never really put my finger on. My favourite gem stone is amethyst because of its colour. Coincidentally it is also the gay colour.

9) What do I like to do? (arrange in an increasing order of preference)
a) Nude-beaching, karaoke, yumcha, shop, watch movies
b) Yumcha, shop, karaoke, watch movies, nude-beaching
c) Shop, yumcha, watch movies, nude-beaching, karaoke
d) Yumcha, watch movies, nude-beaching, shop, karaoke
e) Karaoke, yumcha, shop, nude-beaching, watch movies

This must be an irritating question to many but a simple way to approach it is to look at the thing you know I like to do the most. In this case it is nude-beaching. Then take note of the wording of question (increasing order of preference) and voila, you have the answer. Yes, I am a nudist (if you don’t already know) and will grab hold of any opportunity to spend some time in my own skin in nature. For the sceptics, you will never know how it feels like until you have tried it!

10) Which of the following do I identify myself with the most?
a) Narcissistic
b) Loving
c) Musically-gifted
d) Honest
e) Gay

This is not an easy question and is quite similar to the “logical brain versus hard six-pack” one. Being honest is one of the character traits that I hold dearest to my heart (I know a lot of my friends like me for that) and I cling on to that even though sometimes it borders on being blunt or tactless. Although being gay is extremely important (see the last question), being honest goes to the very core of my being. Heterosexuals can be humans but I cannot be human if I am not honest. That is how I live my life.

11) When I was a child, what did I want to be when I grew up?
a) Engineer
b) Singer
c) Doctor
d) Policeman
e) I never thought of this question

This is one of those questions that I find strange because it is so over-asked yet something that I have never asked or thought about myself. Perhaps growing up in a poor family has made me such a pragmatic person that dreams got squeezed out of the equation. What could earn the most dough would be the only way to go. This teaching thus left no room for such a question to be asked, let alone answered.

12) Which Singaporean food do I like the most?
a) Po-piah (unfried version of the spring roll)
b) Roti prata (flat bread cooked on a hot plate)
c) Ba ku teh (pork ribs in herbal soup)
d) Indian rojak (deep-fried dough in various forms)
e) Char kway teow (fried noodles in dark soy sauce)

When it comes to my strong discipline in life, food is my Achilles heel. This explains why I am slowly losing my lean abdominal definition (it is still good but not as good as before). And being in a city where authentic Singaporean food is very hard to find, you can imagine how much I miss po-piahs. I saw them being sold for $6 each in a Chinese New Year fair and I thought it was too expensive (I was also too full after having just eaten at that time) and decided not to buy it (big regret for I never saw it being sold ever since. Sigh).

13) Which singer do I think is the most talented?
a) Jay Chou
b) Faye Wong
c) Leehom Wang
d) Tanya Chua
e) David Tao

The operative word in this question is “talented”. Faye is my idol but Jay is by far the most talented of the lot. He created a genre of music that other song-writers emulated and much credit has to be given to him. It is not easy to be a trend-setter nowadays in this increasingly “been there, done that” world. By the way, I heard that Faye is making a comeback. If you have any credible sources to support that, please keep me informed!

14) Which of the following is not what I add to my sentences?
a) Preees-ah
b) F**king hell
c) Alamak
d) Harooo-oh
e) Aiyah

Yes, I do swear but only when I am at home or when no one can hear me (when I am in public). It is usually expressed out of frustration and is not directed at anyone–seeing that I have not really scolded anybody in my life before (is this a normal thing?), I certainly cannot imagine myself swearing at someone in his or her face! The answer to this question is "Alamak".

15) If today is my last day on Earth, what would I do?
a) Party all day long
b) Eat the most sinful food possible
c) Spend all the money in my bank
d) Spend it with Ision
e) Spend it with Ision and my closest friends/family

Is this a trick question? I will leave that up to you. Of course I would want to spend it with my closest friends and family if I have the time. But seeing that it is my last day on Earth (presumably not a scenario of inter-planetary migration), I would want to spend it in Ision’s arms. Just cuddling, till my time is up.

16) Approximately how many times do I check my Facebook every day?
a) 10
b) 20
c) 30
d) 40
e) 50

This was written before Facebook got unblocked at work. I am sure the number is greater now (it was 20 times per day). Well there is nothing more to say other than the fact that Facebook in my opinion is an extremely good way to keep in touch with all my friends especially when I am so far away from them (although I must say that using them to play games is a bit silly).

17) At what age did I come out of the closet?
a) 16
b) 18
c) 20
d) 22
e) 24

This is another one of those questions regarding age that most people will get it wrong (in hindsight, I should not have added them). I came out of the closet when I was still in the army (in my second year) and it involves a long story that I have told a lot of my friends. But I only came out to ALL my army platoon mates during one of the last reservists I attended. They took it extremely well (seeing that they are “Hokkien pengs”) and even wanted invitations to my wedding! But I know life would have been hellish for me if I had come out to them at 20. Maturity and sense need time to develop.

18) What is my biggest concern at work right now?
a) Too many projects to handle with too little time
b) Not fitting into the culture and losing out
c) Workplace being so far from where I live
d) Company is not offering good career progression
e) Irritating colleagues that affect my daily mood

This is a follow-up question to question 7 (if you got that one right). All the choices above are things that I am concerned with right now but only one of them is the biggest. Seeing that I have decided to make the best out of the worst-case scenario, I would naturally desire a career with good progression. Right now my company is supposedly going through a tough patch because of the economy and all external training as well as pay increments are cut (the poor economy is a common excuse for cutting cost). Being a contractor seconded so far away from the head office, I constantly feel left out as well. However I see this job only as a stepping stone (since I urgently needed to settle down with some sort of employment right after I arrived in Sydney) and will definitely move on in one to two years’ time. As to what to move to, it is still up in the air at the moment.

19) What genre of movies do I like the least?
a) Thriller
b) Drama
c) Horror
d) Romance
e) Comedy

This is the last of my trick questions (which is not exactly one if you read the question carefully). I find 99% of all comedies slapstick at worst and cliché at best. Maybe I have a more sophisticated or different sense of humour but most Hollywood productions fail to impress me. That is why I will never pay good money to watch one at the cinema. There is one comedy coming up soon that I want to watch though (on my computer of course). Bruno.

20) How important is being gay to me?
a) Extremely important
b) Very important
c) Important
d) Doesn't matter
e) Not important

I feel that one’s sexual orientation impacts on almost every facade of one’s life (possibly only the spiritual aspect is unaffected–even this is debatable). If you were straight, imagine yourself waking up tomorrow and realising that you are gay. How will your life change? If you were married, how would you handle your spouse? If you had kids, what would you tell them? If sexual urges arose, who would you go to? How will the dynamics of all your other relationships change? Basically your whole life turns upside down. So if you ask yourself the same question, being straight would be extremely important to you as well. Gays who say that their sexuality is not of primary importance to them should all go through the above thought process.

So do you now think that you know me much better? By the way, no one passed this quiz on Facebook thus far and the best score is 45% (I must admit it is a tough one). In retrospect, I should have made three versions of the quiz–easy, moderate and hard! Anyway, what you learn at the end of a test is the important thing, not the results and this applies to everything else in life as well. See how wise I am? All credits go to my brain, not my 6-pack!

A traveller’s tale (part 3)

Finally the third installment of my tale. Do you know this is my first official look at Australia from the perspective of a tourist? I thought I was not a fan of travelling but this trip has certainly put new ideas in my mind.

After a few days on the road, we were back in Melbourne city with this customary city shot. The weather was largely nice–people say that it is slightly worse than Sydney’s but I do not agree.

There are plenty of interesting architecture as well as sculptures littered everywhere in the city. Melbourne is so much better a place to live in compared to Sydney (safer, cleaner, less scary, richer in culture and people seemed warmer). That was a dog-pig-like mini statue by the street I was sitting on. Notice the Chanel store? Yingying queued for an hour to buy a $3000+ bag for a friend! I simply cannot fathom why do people need those things? We went for dinner first instead of waiting with her.

We did a lot of walking around in the city.
This is yet another one of our “posed” candid shots.
There's something sexy about the picture that I can't put on my finger on.

Dinner at Singapore Chom Chom before watching "Angels and Demons" (a.k.a a lousy movie). They had the entire Newton Hawker Centre menu in one single restaurant and it was mighty impressive! It was a real gem-of-an-eatery as I really miss Singapore food. The rest were not very impressed though because of the price (especially Yingying). Here in close-up was my yummy dry prawn noodle with pork ribs. The soup (or should I say coloured MSG solution) was bad though.

We watched the musical “Wicked” at the Regent Theatre. It had a contrived plot as it was the prequel to Wizard of Oz and much too kiddy for my taste. Yingying fell asleep many times during the show! The ticket price included a one-course meal at a nearby restaurant with waiters who had no concept of picture-taking and forgot orders!

One of our numerous self-taken pictures (we all suffer the fate of narcissism at times, some more often than others, hehe). This was one of us taking a picture of ourselves–yes, we had a lot of time.

A capture of what I saw during the ghost train-ride that we had to take to enter the Dracula’s dinner cabaret show–a unique experience.
I missed much of the joy of the ride as a result of being too pre-occupied with taking pictures, which is a very common mistake made by tourists.

$16 gone and in exchange was this picture with the cabaret cast and staff. Everyone was in character which made our time there very enjoyable.
The performance was unexpectedly good too, especially that of the guy with the mop-like hair.

At the Queen Victoria Markets–a very small one compared to Paddy’s Market in Sydney (think Bugis Village in Singapore but with plenty of space to breathe). However this place was more interesting because...

...that was where I bought this venus flytrap!
Its growth right now is very stunted because it is winter but I am still giving it a lot of attention as if it were an animal (my new pet).
I hope the plant grows to maturity in time for it to eat up the summer files!

At the beach in St. Kilda–Ision thinks that we look like Hong Kong movie stars in this picture! I wonder who he is referring to...

We visited the Crown Casino where photo-taking inside was prohibited.
As you can see, it was a very cold night but it was a very good one for BK, who won $225 and gave us a dessert treat of cakes and coffee!

The hardworking me–I completed a blog entry (the one before "A traveller's tale") during the spare time I had (while waiting for others to finish shopping at the factory outlet mall).
I must work hard for my faithful blog fans!

So this concludes my tale in which I spent much quality time with my closest friends. It is like yesterday when Yingying was KNN-ing away with Meilian and I busy taking pictures of ourselves. Ah... good memories. With this tale now nicely wrapped up, these memories will forever be stored tidily in my mind, ready to be refreshed whenever I visit this blog.

A traveller’s tale (part 2)

Not to be outdone in the face of Meilian's slew of uploaded pictures, here is the second part of my tale. I know there are not many but do know that I only put what I think is pure gold here.

We stayed at very good (and reasonably-priced) apartments and hotels while we were on the road and this one even had a jacuzzi.
I was the only one who soaked in it though (it took an hour to fill)!

Sunrise along the Great Ocean Road and we made it in time!
It was not easy when Yingying had to complete her face every morning!

The magnificent Twelve Apostles.
It was a quiet and nippy morning but the view was breathtaking.

This is my favourite picture of the Twelve Apostles.
It is good enough to use as a desktop wallpaper.
I particularly like the foggy horizon.

Yet another view of the Twelve Apostles.
We did not manage to count all twelve of them.
Did we even try in the first place? If not, we should have!

Being straight for a second, even if it was only Yingying (hehe)!
During the trip she commented that I am the only guy who can touch her at will without BK batting an eyelid. What a privilege!

We even managed to catch a rainbow
which is something that always cheers me up.
I am sure it has nothing to do with being gay (how ironic).

One of the many great views along the road.
Many thanks to our tireless driver BK!
There was a long stretch where he had to drive in pitch darkness!

A classic Jetstar Star Jumper pose. I have entered the Jetstar photography competition with this picture. Hope I will win something!

Of course I could not resist a bare-chested photo op, even if the cold was a little much. One of us had to always stand guard by the road to warn the others of incoming traffic! It was fun!

Just exactly how cold it was.
(Yingying’s fantasies must have been running wild
when she was taking this picture…)

Our desperate attempt to be models...

...Only to break down into our usual fit.
Thanks for such an enjoyable and laughter-filled trip guys!

Watch out for the last installment, which will come very soon. In the meantime I will plan for my next holiday. Will it be domestic or international...?

A traveller’s tale (part 1)

At the beginning of Meilian’s trip to Australia, she gave me a pleasant surprise–the friend of hers who was coming with her on the trip was actually Yingying! She kept that a secret all those months and it was so worth it! We had a big hug in their hotel room–I do miss them very much! And then begins their adventure with me being the host in Sydney. After a week, we all toured Melbourne together and were joined by another surprise guest–Yingying’s boyfriend, BK. We had such a fun time together and the pictures below tell exactly of that!

Our first meal together in a Korean BBQ place in Sydney–it was my treat.
Yingying can shockingly eat a lot for her size!

Ision hard at work cooking for our guests over a hot stove–so cute!

The feast that had the girls raving for a while.
It consisted of a Japanese seaweed appetizer, Chinese herbal vegetable soup, baked chicken wings in special marinade, stir-fried pork in Korean miso and black garlic bread. The chicken wings were my favourite.

In the rain while waiting for the fireworks display
at Darling Harbour to start, we started horsing around…

…And the result of that is retri for my bibi!
My favourite picture of the lot!

Finally the sight we braved the rain for
(after much complaining by Ision about his hunger).
We later went to had Chinese food in Chinatown (where else?)

The start of our Melbourne trip, and I finally found my own shop.
Beware of the nasty shopkeeper (and the equally-nasty critic)!

At Panny’s Chocolate Factory on Philip Island.
We did not pay for the overpriced admission to see the chocolate statues.

We spent quite some time at an amusement park called Amaze ‘N’ Things.
Anyone wants to eat my head? Erm...

I never usually care to take such pictures
but it seemed like the perfect occasion for it.

We went to the Ashcombe Maze & Lavender Gardens
but only Yingying and BK went inside while Meilian and I sipped on our coffees while enjoying the cool weather at the outdoor cafe.

It was not the season to pick strawberries
but we still got to eat some
at the Sunny Ridge Strawberry Farm in Mornington.

Close-up of the juicy morsels.
This was but one of the MANY food close-ups we took throughout our trip
with Yingying taking the most.

A visit to the Koala Conservation Centre (that came with free rude ticketing staff). The koalas were all sleeping high up in the trees–what a rip off. But we chanced upon this huge koala–without my bibi on the road with me, I guess this bear will do.
We also went to the Penguin Parade and saw penguins swim to the shore as part of their nightly routine. What a way to earn money from people! No picture-taking was allowed (believe me, I tried but it was too dark) so there are none to show.

Watch out for more pictures in the next post!

Reality check #1

In this same month last year I have just landed on the fertile shores of Sydney, all ready to begin the next phase of my life. Although I was not a stranger to this city (having lived here for half a year during my university student exchange programme) it was an entirely new ride for me this time round–leaving my friends and family behind and the beginning of “married” life. The excitement and adrenaline coursing through my veins brought me to this point in time relatively unscathed. Now that the razzle-dazzle has faded, I finally have the chance to see my new home in the raw, sans the fluff and make-up.

As you all know, I auditioned for Australian Idol 2009 and what I got from that was a very good lesson. Of course I am not referring to fashion tips from the noisy bimbotic airheads that I see (and worse still hear) all around me nor any singing or performing know-how I have garnered. I got to experience first-hand how people the likes of me are being viewed and treated in this country. And for once, what I am saying has got nothing to do with homosexuality.

The day started early and the friends who agreed to meet me there were all predictably late so I joined the queue alone. As the groups of typical rowdy and obnoxious Aussie youths gathered, I suddenly felt like a relic not because of the age difference but how progressed my state of mind and phase of life is compared to them. I know what I want in life and am absolutely sure of myself as a person and the swarming mass of insecurity literally made me an alien from outer space. I knew there and then that I was at the wrong place chasing after a wrong dream. But you know me–I always like to tell myself that at least I have tried.

As every second passed, my boredom and sense of being totally out of place grew and the usual faking and forced-acting associated with reality television were not helping at all. After waiting for five hours, I was there behind the door just before the time when I was supposed to impress the pants off the lone male vocal coach (the judge of the first half of the first round). I was fully prepared and I knew I would sing well. But I also knew from previous competitions that singing was one of the less significant items on the producers’ agenda.

The contestant before me came out without the pink slip of acceptance and then it was my turn. The song I chose was Rick Price’s “Heaven Knows” as it accentuated my vocal range and technique in the way I wanted the assessor to hear. A few seconds after music came out of my mouth, I could see a change in his expression and that single expression was stuck on his face till my very last note. At first I did not quite know how to interpret that bit of facial contortion because it was a mixed one but after hearing what he has got to say, it became crystal clear.

He said that I was lovely but just did not meet the standards set out in the programme. Gosh, could it get any more PR than that? While that guy was spewing that load, his face was tattooed with that same look on his face–a wow-he-is-good-but-what-a-waste-he-is-not-what-we-are-looking-for expression. I left the room just like the others and walked out of the building briskly trying to let everything sink in. I must admit I was totally taken by surprise and did not expect the results to be like this at all. The weeks of anticipation and the five-hour wait culminated in a sudden concentration of disappointment and it was a little hard to swallow.

Fortunately I have a formulaic way to treat times like these–when plans go awry and results do not match expectations and I began this rationalisation process as soon as I started walking out of that room of judgement. I am 30 (the entry age cap) [CHECK]. I am not as cute as Kris Allen [CHECK]. I am not an Australian citizen [CHECK]. I am Asian [CHECK]. And the final tally of all those checks could not be more unsatisfactory. I can take the attack in the age and looks department because those are the essential ingredients in the realm of showbiz. It is the nationality and race issues that got me a little riled up. But what else could I expect? How many Asian contestants have you seen in Western Idol competitions? Am I a good reflection of an Australian (and the country’s say, glorious beer-drinking culture)? Why did an intelligent person not see this coming?

As the walk out of the audition venue continued, I got increasingly irate. Here I am in the most cosmopolitan city of the continent contributing to its economy and development as a resident worker with skills that it sorely needs. Why then am I not treated just like any other Australian? Why am I not biting the hand that feeds me after being slapped by that same hand? I felt like a used-then-dumped item which is expected to be in an immaculate condition the next minute ready to be used again.

You might think that I am over-internalising an innocuous event and erroneously mixing the two disparate concepts of engineering and showbiz into a melodramatic whinge-fest. To that I have nothing absolutely rational to throw back in defence for what I felt then was what I felt then and no one can take that feeling away or say that is not true. Of course I have settled down now but I was noticeably upset for the rest of that day and I believe I had good reasons to be (especially when I have sung well). But with pain there is always gain–I got to see true-blue Australia. And for days following the audition, the fact that I have always known how racist Australians could be dawned on me more and more. You see, I have always purported that I have not encountered any racist episodes here but now I know that is a false assertion made when I was still blinded by the bright colourful lights. As I started to see Australia under the lens of truth, I noticed an increasing number of examples of such offensive behaviour.

As if to join the ends of the circle, I realise that racism actually works in a vicious cycle. The more the majority race sees the minority race as the species invading yet refusing to assimilate, the more the former will act out to express their disdain and the more the latter will retreat into its shell (and huddle together with its like in the spirit of “united we stand”). This vicious cycle fuels greater ignorance of the majority and fans the flame of offensiveness against the minority. This is the lesson I have learnt from the Australian Idol audition. Valuable? Maybe. Essential? Definitely.

The floodgates are now sadly opened and as much as I hate it, I am uncovering more reasons why Australia might not be the mecca of freedom I have once thought it was (google the Australian Matthew Johns sex scandal and the irrationally-conservative media fallout for a taste). Perhaps all this is simply a long-overdue culture shock or yet another fact of life. Reality checks are always good and this one makes me want to cling on much tighter to the fact that Sydney is still better than Singapore.

Now that I am more enlightened, I wonder what new levels of cognizance are waiting for me to attain by the end of my second year here. While I wait for that to befall me with my dream of stardom officially six feet underground and no new dreams to keep me occupied, maybe it is time to stop planning and only greet life one day at a time.

A War Against Religious Extremism

The AWARE saga has finally been laid to rest but the hurt and upset feelings inside of me are still running on overdrive. I know we have won and it is a step in the right direction but it showed me how deeply I still feel about Singaporean gay (or rather anti-gay) issues despite my leaving the country for close to a year now.

When it comes to acceptance, there is no such thing as partial acceptance. It is one of those all-or-nothing words in the English language that we have to acknowledge no matter which side we are on. That is why I can never comprehend this oxymoronic phrase “love the sinner, hate the sin”. At the end of the day, it is just a euphemism to camouflage discrimination and hatred (for serious cases) and ignorance (for most other cases). Strictly speaking, the “sin” in context is anal sex but does it also apply to monogamous love? If so, does it mean that the Bible preaches love as something wrong?

Over the years, I have heard so many arguments against homosexuality from the fundamentalist Christians ranging from the supposedly more rational pro-family rhetoric to the if-you-decriminalise-homosexuality-then-it-will-lead-to-the-legalisation-of-bestiality nonsense. You would think that I should get quite numb and nonchalant about all of this after so many years right? The answer is a definite no. You see, I am not only gay but am also someone who has a strong affinity to logic. Baseless and senseless drivel aggravates me and it does not even need to be anti-gay. I am an engineer and apply the engineering way of thinking to all issues in my life and it has served me very well. That just makes me wonder–are logic and religious faith two mutually exclusive principles? When one believes in something wholesale without concrete proof (or let pseudo-evidence skew their inclinations in a vicious cycle), doesn’t it make this person less credible as a human being? Imagine a fundamentalist Christian professor in paleontology giving a university lecture detailing how the world was created in seven days and how dinosaurs roamed the planet alongside men.

But day in day out, we are faced with such illogical people. If a weak sense of logical reasoning is the only thing that they have been inflicted with, we can all simply sympathise with them and move on with our lives. But no, despite being the minority in the world (and definitely so in Singapore), they are loud, vocal and pushy (a la Josie and the Pushycats–brilliant!) and that is the least of it. When it concerns trampling on my basic human rights then it hits close to home and becomes personal. I am not even asking them to follow the love-based teachings of the faith that they are so fanatic about. I am simply expecting them not to make lives difficult for other people, especially people who do not buy in to their faith. Why can’t they simply live and let live? No they cannot, and that is solely because they steadfastly believe that their religion has 100% monopoly over this concept known as absolute truth.

And here comes the root of all evil. Absolute truth? What constitutes to absolute truth? A book written so long ago over so many years by different people in a language so different from your own? I always thought that apathy is what I can fall back on when it comes to Singaporeans in instances of intense idealistic differences but these fundamentalists work on a different plane–they demand to be heard by brandishing their version of the absolute truth without having to earn any merit to begin with. Absolute truth? What about Muslims (there are many other religions but let’s make it simple here)? If you think that homosexuality is wrong just because a few verses of your “Christianity 101” guidebook said so (verses that have been quoted ad nauseam), what about a completely different faith and belief system altogether? You don’t see Christians fighting Muslims in peaceful Singapore with the same fervour as they do against homosexuality right? Because in a civil society directed by laws, even the slowest of people know that is forbidden. And laws are meant to protect the minority, not used against them. But the members of the good old Singapore government like the phrase “conservative majority” way too much to offer the minority any protection (they like it so much that they are willing to tattoo it on their foreheads and store the words right at the tip of their tongues ready to spit them out at any possible chance). What makes it a sadder picture is that the majority of the more influential members of the government are Christians despite Christianity being one of the minority religions. This surely gives the term “tyranny of the majority” a whole new ironic spin, doesn’t it? Every single day, homosexuals in Singapore are fighting against such odds in an uphill battle and I saw enough of this vilely unfair situation to decide to leave it behind.

Yet I am here on an autumn night at home beside my loving partner, one day after celebrating our second anniversary in one of the gayest part of the gayest city in Australia furiously typing my thoughts away hoping that somehow the words that show up on the screen can take away some of the hate that I have encountered all my life and not let events that happened 6,300 kilometres away affect me. One of my friends sent a link on Facebook asking for support for the suspension of AWARE’s Comprehensive Sexuality Education Programme (which paints homosexuality as something normal as well as teaches many other very factually-sound and useful things). She is a Christian mother. How can I as a mere friend compete with her religion and child? When you disagree with “homosexuality” being a neutral word, surely you must also not be able to accept your homosexual friends just the way they are right? And why should I still be bothered staying friends with these people? I made my objections known to her by leaving some comments on the Facebook link that she posted for I could not sit back and do nothing anymore (by the way MOE predictably caved in to the fundamentalists and suspended the Programme).

Despite all my attempts to purge negative feelings out of me, nothing could be done to help cool the boiling fluids inside my body and the hurt continues to gnaw at my insides. I should be able to get past such things by now. I am mature and strong and I have the support of my partner but still...

Perhaps the Pink Dot event (originally meant to be a mini pride parade) on 16th May (a day before the International Day Against Homophobia or IDAHO) at Hong Lim Park in Singapore could start the ball rolling in erasing the hate coming at homosexuals. I urge everyone who is gay or has gay friends, gay relatives or gay siblings to attend the event dressed to the occasion (please watch the attached Pink Dot promotional videos). The people residing on the red dot need to see this pink dot and hopefully allow their minds to open up as a result. It is very hard to walk a mile in the shoes of the discriminated when you have the rights of the majority. If only you can experience a fraction of what we have to go through every day–I know that will certainly turn your bigoted views (be it out of ignorance or dogma) around. There is no reason to discriminate and spread hate, not even a bad one but there is always time for love, which needs no reason. I know it sounds cliché but all we really need is love. We have no wish to fight a war against religious extremism at all.

I would like to use this opportunity to dedicate my song featured in an earlier post entitled “Out” to the Pink Dot event as well as to the brave and tireless organisers and every single event participant. If I were there, I would strip down to my pink undies and paint my whole body pink! Alas, I can only wish all of you the very best from Sydney. I truly am proud of you guys.

2 years and counting!

Happy 2nd anniversary my love. May we have many many more!

Much ado about nothing

It is a rainy day and I am sick and recuperating at home. What better time to revisit the blogosphere than now. The super strength cold and flu drug that I am currently taking really makes me feel ill before it makes me feel better so I might be a little incoherent and disorganised in this post. All my OCDs need a well-deserved rest and I must say letting them go for a while really does make me feel better.

Work has gotten very busy recently. I always believe that the more capable a person is, the more responsibilities he or she would be given. You can also look at it from a I-will-take-advantage-of-your-talents-and-squeeze-you-dry perspective. Either way, I do believe that I am a fast and efficient worker and hence my boss decided to dump all those projects onto me that were too much for another guy to handle 2 minutes before the project kick-off meeting (I almost fainted then but still had to appear nonchalant yet strong). As overworking (and my first working overtime experience in Sydney–my absolute last resort) seeped into my life, my body’s immune system naturally took a back seat. The fact that I do not take multi-vitamins regularly (much to Ision’s disapproval) plus the season quickly changing from autumn to autumn-winter compounded with nasal allergies all led me to where I am right now. A sick person at home on a rainy Sunday vegging away.

I have not taken a sick day since I started working in Sydney and everyone is telling me to take one tomorrow. I went to see a doctor yesterday and got a 3-day medical certificate. My friend told me one of the biggest reasons why people visit doctors here is to get that piece of paper that exempts them from work and I guess that is not too strange a practice. I think I should seize this chance to take a day off work and let my OCDs continue to slumber. However the longer I rest the harder it would be for me to get back to work, which is the same logic I use to rationalise why I continue to work so hard in life be it in school, in the gym or in my job. Why do I not trust that my strong discipline will achieve a balance with the innate human potential to be lazy? That is one of the many questions that will haunt me forever.

Determination is a virtue and I have been imbued with this valuable lesson through my years of growing-up. In my opinion (after gaining maturity) that is only a very basic lesson. We also need to know why we are determined and why we are working so hard. A simple way is to set up goals and make sure every ounce of effort you put in goes towards achieving that goal otherwise it will just be wasted energy. This might sound too simplistic to be practically-true but if one genuinely makes the right focus in life and never lets go, success is almost always guaranteed. As for me, I am not exactly sure why I am working so hard at the moment. Is it for money? Is it so I that I have something to do? Is it for personal satisfaction? It appears that I do not have any solid goals in my life right now and to be honest, that is freaking me out a little.

We work so that we can rest so that we can work more. Does life have to go through this mundane cycle? And is it so wrong to not have an ideal or even a purpose in life? What is next when one has achieved what one has set out to achieve? Do we need to keep a dream unfulfilled so that we will always have something to work towards? Looks like I have opened up more cans of worms and do you know what I see? Yes you have guessed it. Worms. This is why escapists believe that ignorance is bliss and many others believe less is more. I have never ever pictured myself as an escapist but when push comes to shove at that very tight corner, what else can one do other than to stay put, stay strong and hope that everything will settle into perfect harmony soon?

Maybe it is the drugs talking but I am not upset with my life right now although something is definitely missing from it. I have been raised with the teaching that hard work and perseverance are the only sure-fire tools to success but I have not been taught how to take time to enjoy that success. Sadly, I am but a by-product of the agenda of the post-independence Singapore government. Am I so blind to not realise that I am still running a rat race despite being already out of the tracks? But what else can I do? Is it so bad to have not-giving-up as a character trait? More questions with no answers.

Before I get too caught up, I think I should give it a rest and continue from here another time. Despite everything in this world trying to complicate things and lives, I do know that more often than not, time will answer a lot of questions. Things fall off the list and new things come on board to distract you all the time and before long, everyone will be back to square one asking the same questions again. That is life I am afraid. Nothing fancy and nothing dramatic, just life.

By the way, I am going for my Australian Idol audition on 16th May and this is my last chance to reach for the stars (my next goal in life maybe?) before I get dumped in the “expired” bin. If I do get ahead in this competition, I will need all the support I can get especially the gay votes (yes, I have decided to commit the cardinal sin of showbiz–to be forthcoming with my sexuality). In the meantime, I better go dust off my show costumes and song sheets, warm up my voice and oil my gears and parts. But before that, it is time for my next dose. Yum.