Quarantine woes (part 1)

In a previous post, I described how my recent major career move came into being and in this one, I'll be talking about the complicated quarantine process that I'll soon be subjected to (the next two posts in this series are here: part 2 part 3). As you know this is a fly-in/fly-out (FIFO) role and hence I'll have a back-to-back that does the exact same role so that there's continuous site support. My back-to-back was originally due to fly to Papua New Guinea first but because of an administrative error, I became the first one to travel. This came about after a long period of waiting for the travel exemption to be first negotiated and then granted by the Australian government (the previous exemption granted to FIFO workers was revoked due to the COVID outbreak in PNG).

Even if I were to get on site successfully, there's a non-insignificant risk of catching COVID. One of my colleagues in his early 20s contracted it whilst travelling to the facility but luckily he has since recovered. There had also been reports of people in the "cocoon" (that's what they call the post-quarantine general population area of the camp) testing positive for this dreadful disease. The threat is very real and I can't deny that I'm genuinely worried.

Fortunately FIFO workers are now deemed critical workers and this came at just the right time i.e. we can now register for a COVID vaccine under Phase 1B originally meant for the the elderly and adults with underlying medical conditions. Unfortunately the safer Pfizer vaccine is currently only reserved for healthcare and front-line workers and so even though I'm under 50, I have to get the AstraZeneca jab if I want it now. That being said, I've got a plan to upgrade myself to Phase 1A and score myself a Pfizer vaccine (even though I accept the extremely low blood clot risk). Too bad vaccination couldn't be arranged before I depart but I'll definitely get that sorted when I'm back in Melbourne on my break. Without being vaccinated, I have to be extremely careful on my first rotation. 

Even though I've been there before (see this post) and know what kind of local conditions to expect, this FIFO role has been made infinitely more challenging not least because the logistics with travelling is constantly changing due to the fluid nature of how different regions manage this pandemic. As far as I know, this is what the quarantine process will look like for me:

 

• Departure date confirmed and flights booked. The company has only a quota of 15 a week to send to PNG so only the critical workers are allowed to be there and I'm considered critical.
• Travel approval to PNG to be obtained not later than 21 days before arrival and negative COVID test to be obtained not later than 7 days before arrival.
• Australian travel exemption to be processed on the Monday of the travelling week and needs to be granted before departure.
• Complete a PNG health declaration form a day before landing in PNG.
  
• Flight to Brisbane (overnight transit) then to Port Moresby.
• First part of the quarantine at Port Moresby (whilst working, either at a hotel or at a quarantine facility). I was told the need to quarantine at Port Moresby is due to insufficient beds in the quarantine section of the work camp.
  
• Flight from Port Moresby to work camp.
  
• Second part of the quarantine at the work camp (whilst working) and then a negative COVID test before being allowed to start work in the "cocoon". Upon a positive result, 2 consecutive negative results need to be obtained before being allowed in the "cocoon".
  
• Around 7 weeks of work on site with 1 day of break every week (there's talk that this will increase to 1.5 or even 2 days per week). This used to be 4 weeks work and 4 weeks break but because of quarantine, rotations have been extended significantly and hence these break days are necessary. The exact number of days on site is dependent on flight schedules leaving PNG.
  
• Flight from work camp to Port Moresby (transit) then to Brisbane.
• 14-day quarantine at Brisbane hotel and then a negative COVID test before being allowed to leave quarantine.
• Flight from Brisbane to Melbourne.
• 6 weeks off and then the cycle repeats.

As quarantine takes place in Brisbane on the way back, any outbreaks there will have a definite impact on how the quarantine programme is run but I'll fret over it when it actually happens as there are just too many moving parts in this. The company says it's working hard to make the quarantine process less onerous and it has already reduced 8 weeks of work to 7 by including the arrival quarantine period as work, so fingers crossed it'll get even better. I remember during my last stint there, at the 4th week mark, I was really feeling the need to go home (I wrote a song about it here) so I'm not sure how my mental state would be with 7 to 8 weeks of work, especially when 2 weeks of quarantine actually eats into my 8-week break.

However going back to 4/4 rotation is contingent on mass vaccination in PNG and judging by how slow that's going, I'm not expecting this to happen within this year. This is due to low vaccine supplies and a high level vaccine hesitancy due to misinformation. To give you an idea of how the local population feels about COVID and hence the uphill battle in front of us, here are the amazing results of a company-run survey meant to tell people to get their medical information from authorised sources. I'm not sure if there were prank answers but the fact that those questions needed to be asked in the first place says a lot!

The hardest thing about being in quarantine is that you're not even allowed to open the door and so I'm a little worried that might be too overbearing even though a company-appointed independent psychologist will check in with me at the minimum on days 1 and 7 of the quarantine period. I heard during quarantining in Brisbane, ordering Uber eats is reimbursable seeing that food provided during quarantine can be awful or unhealthy. I'll also have my top-notch exercise bands (in lieu of weights) and skipping rope (for stationary cardio) to ensure I don't get out of shape (a selection of the kit featured below), as well as lots of videos to watch on my Microsoft Surface. Of course there will be lots of song-writing projects to keep me sane. All that is if I don't need to work which I'm sure is rather unlikely judging by the unlimited amount of it I've encountered everyday since I've started.

I've just had lunch with Ision during his break and now checked in at the airport for my flight to Brisbane. I've been warned that there's a chance that Melbourne will be declared a hot spot (seeing that the positive case number has now grown to double digits and counting!) and hence I might be guided to a transit quarantine hotel in Brisbane (i.e. not staying at the one booked by the company). As mentioned earlier, this is the fluid nature of managing this bloody pandemic and I hope I don't go crazy or worse infected—I guess there's only one way to find out. Stay tuned for part two which will detail my actual quarantine experience before I enter the "cocoon".

Musical journey (129)

The acquittal of George Zimmerman after he shot dead African-American teen Trayvon Martin sparked the Black Lives Matter (BLM) movement in July 2013 and from then the #BLM hashtag became synonymous with the fight against injustice towards black people all over the world. Although the unlawful killings in America never stopped ever since the days of slavery, there was one particular case in recent history that stood out and that was the death of George Floyd. You must be living under a rock in another galaxy if you don't know who he is but here is what you need to know in case that's you.

Blacks and people of colour have faced racial injustice for eons and it's only when you've been in the minority camp will you fully grasp that feeling of helplessness and outrage. It's like bottled-up anger waiting to explode but due to societal pressures, you have to keep it in and hope that it doesn't implode and cause great harm, physically or otherwise. I personally have had my fair share of racist episodes ever since I became the minority after I relocated to Australia. Fortunately with the recent surge in Asian hate borne out of COVID, I haven't experienced any ignorant vitriol so far. Perhaps that's because Melbourne has been locked down for much of the pandemic (I'm a skeptic yes).

Besides being a skeptic, I'm a pessimist too so I truly believe this horrible reality of life will never end and so the fight against it can't cease as well. However there will always be little victories that we can celebrate and triumphs that can give the warriors just a teensy bit more fortitude to carry on. The conviction of George Floyd's killer last month was one of such small wins. To mark this event and also his one-year death anniversary this month, I wrote a song not only to commemorate but to remind myself and everyone else that this is just one battle won. There's still a long war ahead so let's all brace ourselves to right this wrong.

[Right This Wrong]

You, all censored and subdued
A storm waiting to break through
You're still in shackles
In need of hope long overdue

Busted and screwed
Locked up in a déja vu
You should try to take a walk in my shoes

If only you knew
Injustice the way I do
Change may one day come through

How could you
Be so blind and so cruel

I have to stand up and fight
To make the move
Not gonna let you tear me down
I'm ready to battle
No mercy for you

I have to stand up and fight
To make the move
Not gonna let you break me down
I'm ready to battle
Fuck this abuse

So we have to
Rise up, unite, to see it through
Not gonna let you tear us down
So listen to this war cry
It's time to right this wrong
And time to end this abuse

Musical journey (128)

Almost a month into my new job, everything is progressing well including my week-long Sydney on-boarding trip when I had the chance to meet my office-based colleagues as well as to catch up with my old Sydney friends which I've not seen for years (since I left Sydney in 2012). Fortunately there was no sudden outbreak in Sydney like in Brisbane just before Easter and I'm now back in Melbourne. Travelling is so scary now, even if it's just interstate and it felt weird stepping into an airport and aeroplane once again.

This month's musical post features Jay Chou's 菊花台 when I was busking for a night in Singapore more than a year ago before the world was turned upside down by the pandemic (here is another piece I did that night). I wonder when I can do it again—both visiting my home country and performing in front of a non socially-distanced crowd...

PS: I didn't get the words right in some parts as the lyrics I was relying on that night was wrong!

A new beginning

It's done. It's finally done! And because it's really happened, I can at long last tell all of you formally that I've ended my almost 13-year employment with my ex-company and moved on to my new job as a site-based Process Engineer in Papua New Guinea (PNG) on a fly-in/fly-out (FIFO) rotation, a location which I'm very familiar with from my previous 2-year stint there. The current COVID outbreak in PNG and the Brisbane lockdown are factors that will impact when I actually arrive on site but I'll leave that subject for a subsequent post but in this one, I'll detail the timeline of how this major career change came about. Before that, let me first share with you the best error message ever—I've never been more glad to be locked out of the system!

 

 

15/09/2020 - Received a LinkedIn message from a recruiter asking if I was interested in the role. Despite my gripes about LinkedIn, it's really a good way to get noticed.

17/09/2020 - A successful phone interview with the recruiter was conducted and a formal interview with the company was organised. It sure feels good to be "head-hunted" and not having to apply for a job and then wait for a reply that never comes.

30/09/2020 - The panel video interview with the company took place with most of the interviewers known to me due to my previous stint there. Lots of homework and preparation was done because I've been yearning to leave my then company for a long time and since Melbourne-based opportunities were rare, when this FIFO role came up which didn't require me to relocate, I knew I HAD to get it!

07/10/2020 - Provided information and referees as part of pre-employment background checks which were initiated as the job application progressed to the next stage. Background checks typically mean that you've been shortlisted already and will get the role if the checks all turn out fine. My time and performance in PNG from 2014 to 2016 must have contributed to this positive development. Asking my then colleagues to be my referees was awkward but that's a reality of life we all have to face at some point.

26/10/2020 - Received the email from HR that I've been offered the job. HAPPY DAY!!! Signed the site-based employment contract which will only take effect when the PNG visa is granted (visa is valid for 3 years). Think the visa application process is easy especially since I've obtained the visa before? Well think again. The recruiter wasn't aware that this was a 2-year term and I only realised this when I saw the contract. Although that was an unpleasant surprise, this would still be a great career move for me. Based on my previous experience, because getting the visa takes so much effort, it'll likely be at least a 3-year term i.e. until the visa expires. That's if I do a good job of course.

27/10/2020 - Applied for an Australian Federal Police check and obtained a "clean record" outcome on 09/11/2020. This is required for the PNG work permit application.

05/11/2020 - Couriered the completed work permit application forms and documentation to PNG's Department of Labour & Industrial Relations.

10/11/2020 - Commenced application for certification as a Professional Engineer with the Institute of Engineers Papua New Guinea (IEPNG). This is the biggest change since my last application. PNG now requires all practising engineers to obtain this certification to ensure quality in engineering designs. This is an extremely involved process and I was told it's much more onerous than the equivalent Australian certification. 

13/11/2020 - Received the all-clear from the company doctor after the pre-employment medical checks and vaccinations. A subsequent follow-up check was also done on 03/12/2020. This is one of the requirements for the PNG work permit application.

19/11/2020 - Full application and associated documentation were sent to IEPNG which included references from two more then colleagues (i.e. more awkward conversations). The process normally takes 90 business days with the bulk of the time spent by technical assessors to come up with a decision. These assessors are doing this pro-bono and so it all depends on whether they can afford the time. It's beyond 90 business days to date and I still haven't attained the certification. Although this is a work permit requirement, it's not strictly required which will be explained further below. And get this—all visa-related applications were put on pause for the end-of-year period from 20/11/2020 and the office did not re-open till 14/01/2021! This was really bad news for me as I've already moved on mentally from my then company and hence my days there were increasingly tough. The lack of work and job insecurity due to COVID was also making things extra difficult.

25/01/2021 - The work permit support letter was released by IEPNG once they received the application payment from the company. This is a provisional approval for the certification so that the work permit application can progress. Although I'm really thankful they allow this, I'll leave it up to you to interpret how important this certification is to the PNG government. Even people in the know had admitted that routine "rubber-stamping" is definitely happening.

09/02/2021 - Work permit was granted (3-year validity) and this must happen before the PNG visa  (entry permit) application could be lodged (on 15/02/2021).

25/02/2021 - PNG visa (entry permit) status was progressed to "Authorised" which meant that my passport had to be sent to the PNG Consulate in Brisbane for the visa to be affixed. There was a conflict between HR and the Consulate with regards to a negative COVID test result requirement. Although I got a negative result from my first-ever COVID swab on 01/03/2021 less than a day after the test (20 hours to be precise—how efficient is that?) and included that in the documentation pack sent to the Consulate, it was later confirmed that this was not required contrary to what HR initially thought.

07/03/2021 - PNG visa (entry permit) application was approved and is valid till 10/02/2024. This means that the employment contract I previously signed comes into full effect. However, it has been decided that my back-to-back would go on site first and so I'd need to sign an interim maximum 3-month Australia-based contract so that I can start the on-boarding process and be able to hit the ground running once my rotation starts.

17/03/2021 - The Australia-based employment contract was signed. To allow me to work remotely, I was sent my work laptop which I received on 26/03/2021. It's a sleek HP model with Bang & Olufsen speakers, not the run-of-the-mill Dell crap. I love it!

 

29/03/2021 - Officially started my new Process Engineer role. YAY!!!

 

As you can see, I took quite a bit of effort through more than half a year (!) between being contacted for the role and my official start date but I'm very happy that everything progressed in the right direction, including my first three days in my new role notwithstanding typical teething IT issues. However, this is not the end as my actual role is site-based and a lot of factors affect my actual commencement date on site not least because of how quarantine measures keep evolving along with the viral strains. I'll talk about the quarantine requirements for this new role in a subsequent post.

Musical journey (127)

It's been 10 years this week since the 2011 Japan earthquake and tsunami that saw countless lives lost (details can be found here). I wrote a song about it at that time but was not exactly happy with it as it was not a properly arranged piece. I decided to polish it up for the tenth anniversary of the disaster using clips from a documentary on its effects on the elderly.

During the recreation of this song, I was reminded again of how important it is to cherish your time with your loved ones especially your ageing parents. For those who are affected by this or other calamities both natural or man-made (it's also the tenth anniversary of the Syrian war this week), I hope this song brings some warmth and comfort.

[抬头望 ]

词  /  曲 : 锦泉

天色昏暗,  暂时看不到天亮
只看见你满面惆怅
更忘记了信仰
只要你心中持着期望
就一定能看见曙光
但这一刻你还是一脸沮丧

伸出你双手,  让我们挽手一起共对抗
命运无情的安排怎么也不能阻挡
我们意志向着前方
踏出第一步放弃绝望
而你的步伐会更稳健更坚强

一片荒凉,  摧残你所有梦想
改变了生命的方向
一切都给灭亡
但你要试着看透灰茫
活着就是一种力量
你别忘了还有我们在你身旁

张开你双眼让这点温暖涌进你心房
让它瞬间驱走风中那股淡淡的凄凉
我们斗志亢奋激昂
为的是让你重燃希望
只因为明天就在不远的地方

只因为明天就在不远的地方
抬头望



[Look Up]

The sky is dark and grey and dawn is nowhere in sight
And I can still see the melancholy on your face
You have even forsaken your faith
Although you are still worn down by depression
All you need is to hold on to hope to see the light

If you reach out and let us combat this hand-in-hand
Cruel fate will not stand a chance to get in our way
When our will points forward as we step forth to abandon despair
Our strides will get steadier and stronger

The vast devastation evidences the destruction of all your dreams
It changes the direction of your life, annihilating everything
But you need to try to see through the bleakness
Because being alive is in itself a source of strength
Don't forget we are also all here by your side

Open your eyes and let warmth flood your hearts
Let it instantaneously drive the desolation in the wind away
Our fighting spirit is rousing so that hope can be re-ignited
Because tomorrow is not far away

Just look up

Musical journey (126)

Melbourne went back into Stage 4 lock down for 5 days about 2 weeks ago and although thankfully it wasn't longer, this going in and out of lock down is unfortunately now the new norm. Hopefully a better (new new) norm will develop as the vaccine rollout across the country which started last week gains momentum by putting us in a position of offence in this war for the fist time. The timing of the lock down couldn't be any worse (right smack during the Valentine's Day and Lunar New Year weekend) and it was really bad to the retail and hospitality industries. 

Despite my constant whingeing about my employer, it's during these times that I feel so lucky having a job that's not that adversely impacted by the pandemic. In fact, my career is thriving amidst COVID-19 as evidenced by my impending job-change as growth-wise, it's a massive move in the upward direction. Although I'm currently still entwined in red tape, I can now see the finishing line and I'll fill you all in with more details in a separate post next month.

Next month also sees the first death anniversary of my beloved Greg (whom you can read more about here). His birthday was a few days ago when a Facebook reminder popped up and this hit me with a swirl of mixed feelings. Facebook doesn't do death well and I feel that's a strategic move that somehow earns them more profit, which is the primary reason why they took down all news sites in Australia this month only to reinstate them days later. Thank goodness they reversed that decision otherwise I'd have missing diary entries because I se that platform as a diary.

OK, that's enough negativity for now so let's change to a party mood. February marks the beginning of the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras. Although I left that city ages ago, I somehow am still mentally connected to it via Mardi Gras (read about my past experiences here and here). I feel this way perhaps because the ability to celebrate my sexual identity was the key reason why I left home to start life again in a foreign country and Mardi Gras is the epitome of that celebration.

This is why I normally write a party anthem to bring that connection to life and this year is no different. The only difference is partying in the face of a pandemic is now a whole new beast. This composition laments that as much as it expresses that explosive need to celebrate this special occasion with extreme joy and abandon. So I now share with you my new Mardi Gras 2021 party anthem and it's time to all party like it's 2019!!!

[Like It's 2019]

Do you get this feeling
On a Friday night
Pulsing through your body
That you can't defy

Go on, close your eyes
Give in to these vibes
When was the last time
You had freedom undenied

I wanna dance, just like it is 2019
I wanna get smashed, just like it is 2019
I wanna hug, just like it is 2019
I wanna get high and party, like it's 2019

Locked up with this feeling
Need to quell this fire
It's not gonna be easy
But I still wanna try

Release me from inside
And get me satisfied
Yes or no, you decide
Come on, let's do this right

I wanna dance just like it is 2019
I wanna get trashed just like it is 2019
I wanna fuck just like it is 2019
I wanna get high and party like it's 2019

We can't turn back time
But we have tonight
So amplify this high
And let's chase this laser light

Weekend getaway / Musical journey (125)

It's the new year and also a year since COVD-19 invaded the world but life has to go on and it does. Avid travellers must be feeling really miserable right now when globe-trotting has been severely curtailed by the pandemic. Fortunately I'm not into that but getting away once in a while to somewhere nearby is always good. I visited Daylesford and Hepburn Springs last weekend which was a trip delayed twice from August last year due to the lock down. Below are some pictures documenting the short getaway.

  

A small simple hotel "Amara Springs Guest House" with old school decor was our choice. Why pay for the luxury when you're going to spend most of your time outside your room?

 

 

This restaurant is apparently one of more famous places in Daylesford called "Larder".

 

One of the key attractions I shortlisted to visit was the mineral baths. We took the cheaper but still relaxing option but I sneaked into the "exclusive" area for those who paid for the full package to experience everything, albeit only momentarily to avoid getting caught.

 

I wanted lobster at the "Daylesford Steakhouse" and so surf and turf was the way to go but the best thing of that night was actually the bread rolls!

 

I'm not a huge fan of cheese but my travelling buddy swears by it so cheese and wine was our dessert.

 

 

This place opposite our hotel called "The Virgin Café" was perfect for breakfast on the second day not only because of the convenience but it also had really nice ambience.

 

After a brief stop at the Daylesford Sunday Market, we moved on to the next itinerary item i.e. wine-tasting. We even went to this quaint herbal liqueur and gin distillery. We were led to our first stop from the wine of last night's dinner. Places visited included Passing Clouds, Captain's Creek and Terra Australis.

 

Mill Market is a must-visit every time I'm in Daylesford but this was the first time I noticed this big ape and I just had to take a snap with it.

 

Cheese and wine pairing in air-conditioning at "Wine & Cheese Merchants" on a really hot 38ºC day. That wine bottle is 3 litres!

We had the last meal of our trip at "The Virgin Café" (again). This trip reminded me of the importance of short local getaways which are now really popular due to the shutting of international borders.

On the work front, things are still coming in dribs and drabs and I'm getting really sick of sourcing for work when that's totally not in my job description! What's the point of being employed full-time by a company when you have to find your own work?! To make matters worse, we have the legal team fluffing around with contract wording delaying the secondment that will provide reprieve from work insecurity. Don't they know that livelihoods are impacted by their actions? Fortunately this misery isn't going to last much longer and I simply CANNOT wait to move on.

The final item of this post is of course my monthly musical offering. This time I have a topless cover of the very talented Taiwanese singer-songwriter 徐佳瑩's "失落沙洲" (the previous posts in this topless KTV series are here: 1 2 3). Though a pretty old song, it's very well-written and if you like tear-jerkers, you're in luck (the original version here). Writing a new song every Saturday is now a weekly ritual so I have much material to share (I'll post a new composition next month). Hope my creative juices never stop flowing!

To Greg / Musical journey (124)

20 years ago, a maladjusted young gay guy living in Singapore desperately looking for love and struggling with coming out, body insecurity and daddy issues met an older married man residing in Sydney who never had a son and was exploring homosexuality late in his life. Sounds like a match made in heaven? It was, for many of this young man's formative years. This is the origin story between me and one of the most important figures of my life, Greg.

Our relationship grew over daily emailing and nightly calls when he slipped out for his "walks". The time difference did little to quell the desire to become closer. We met for the first time when he came over to Singapore during one of his business trips. The love and hunger was mutually intense as we filled each other's gaps in exactly the way they yearned to be filled. We simply couldn't get enough of each other.

As much as it was loving, it was also very taboo. He was the father I never really had as a boy yet we were in a physical relationship. It was not a daddy fantasy, he was my true father. The age gap really weighed on Greg's mind and was the reason why he withheld his real age for a long time. The fact that he was married with three adult daughters added to the forbidden nature of the love. We had each other but we were alone as we couldn't let anyone else know of this very precious thing we had. This is also why I haven’t shared this part of my life with a lot of people and on this blog, until now.

We threw societal norms and caution to the wind as we continued to write and talk to each other almost daily and see each other once or twice a year. Greg was the main reason why I took up a university exchange program in Sydney—that was the best six months of my life. We had a date at this French restaurant in Sydney the first time I was there. Though I've forgotten its name now, it remained our special place where we visited whenever I went to see him.

The interesting thing is that I was also seeing other guys and Greg was always there to pick up the pieces when all those short relationships fell apart because I was too eager to get into them. He was my shoulder through and through, across the ocean.

Our age gap never really escaped Greg. I was ready to be in a permanent relationship with him but he always felt that I could do better and that he'd be wasting my youth. Deep down, he was probably just as insecure as any human being and not the solid father figure I depended so much on. Although the connection remained, it gradually lost the intensive sexual element and became a very close friendship between a mentor and a mentee. When Ision came into the picture, the change in relationship was complete.

Shortly after that, Greg met another guy and I was extremely happy for him. In fact I met his partner Paulo several times. When my mother came to see me in Sydney, I even brought her to meet them at Paulo's house. I've always wondered if my mum knew who Greg was and how many years of her son's life were spent with this elderly gentleman. Maybe mothers could always tell but maybe not. I guess I'll never know.

Greg and I have talked about him divorcing his wife many times during our relationship but he never did. He finally succeeded whilst being with Paulo and could finally be free to be who he really wanted to be. I was over the moon for him.

Throughout the years I was with Ision, Paulo and Greg were very close and we would catch up whenever they visited Melbourne. Greg was kept abreast of my life through this blog and we always messaged and emailed to wish each other happy birthday and Merry Christmas. It's a very warm yet strange feeling knowing that you have someone who is still there loving you but no longer in that familiar way. 

Greg got sick last year and the biopsy he underwent in November 2019 revealed that he had Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis. There was no cure for it and I knew he was going to get weaker and weaker. In February this year I messaged him to wish him happy birthday and he told me his condition was getting worse.

Although I was glad that Paulo was there to take care of him, I knew Greg's time was limited. Our relationship was kept a secret to others for many years but it was built on a foundation of no secrets and we could talk about anything with total transparency. During the February chat, I asked him if he was fine with me attending his funeral and he said it was, though no one there would know who I was. I said I'd just be Paulo's friend. I asked Greg for Paulo's number in case I needed to contact him and he gave it to me but he never gave Paulo my number.

Earlier this month I got a message from their mutual friend who managed to hunt me down on Facebook asking me to contact Paulo. I immediately knew what it was about. I called Paulo and was told the news that I had prepared myself for. Less than a month after I messaged Greg in February, he actually passed on. I was glad that I could wish him happy birthday one last time. Due to COVID-19, there couldn't be a real funeral but I heard there might be a retrospective one. I will attend that as planned, COVID restrictions permitting. I should have called him instead of texting in February but I guess we can't live our lives with this kind of regret.

When someone dies, the people they leave behind are what really matters. I feel so sorry for Paulo not least because he's all alone in his grief but he was deliberately cut out of Greg's will by his scheming daughters. Paulo didn't want to fight this but he had to. It's not about money at all but justice and recognition.

Greg had three daughters and the fact that he never had a son was a big part of why our relationship blossomed. He really wanted someone to nurture and support and it was that loving nature that drew me to him. It's so sad that the daughters he loved so much are now going against his wishes (they successfully plotted to make Greg revise his will several times). How greedy can people get?! It's a blessing in disguise that Greg will never know the truth as it would crush him. This battle is still raging on and I wish Paulo gets what he deserves, including Greg's holiday house.

It was this house in which they spent much time together and it was this house where Greg kept the tapes of the recorded songs I wrote for him over the years. Greg would play these songs as he drove. I asked Paulo if I could get them back and he said that could be arranged once he regains access to the house. To think that the daughters actually barred their father’s rightful partner from visiting his own house. I am beyond mad about this.

Throughout our seven years together, I've written 72 songs for Greg. Some were whimsical, some were funny but all were heavily tinged with a deep sense of longing as we traversed this long distance relationship. I went through all the songs after the sad news and picked one that meant the most to me and I believe it was also one of Greg's favourites. The words are as true today as they were 20 years ago when it was written though they take on a whole new meaning today. I had to fight back tears re-recording this song as every repeat of its title, my heart broke a little more.

Greg, I know you've heard this song a thousand times but if you can hear it now, know from my voice that you will always be remembered and cherished. I thank you for being there for me when I was at my lowest. I thank you for giving me the love and guidance that I needed. I thank you for being my pillar. There will forever be a spot in my heart where you will stay. I love you Greg and I will see you again some time.

[Without You]

When you're crying, cry it out
When you're laughing, do it with no doubt
When you're tired, do rest in my arms
They will be right open, waiting for you

When you're crying, I wish it's out of joy
When you're laughing, I will smile to myself
When there is hurt, pour it over my shoulders
They will be there, they'll be right there

Without you, I'll not be as strong
Without you, life is no longer a song
Without you, the journey is long
With you around, what more do I deserve?

Without you, the sun don't shine as bright
Without you, the night just falls colder
Without you, I can't imagine what the world would be
With you around, I can be who I want to be

When you need a hand, you've got a friend
When you need love, I will give it to you
Oh father, I want to be your son
Hold me to you, right into your arms

Without you, I'll not be as strong
Without you, life is no longer a song
Without you, the journey is long
With you around, what more do I deserve?

Without you, the sun don't shine as bright
Without you, the night just falls colder
Without you, I can't imagine what the world would be
With you around, I can be who I want to be

With you around, I can see the difference in me

Musical journey (123)

A month is like a lifetime in a world filled with a relentless virus capable of permeating every single facet of life and since my last post, much has happened indeed. For instance, Victoria has just recorded 28 consecutive days of no new cases which means that the virus has effectively been eliminated. Under the previous guidelines, we would have reached a state of COVID-normal and that there would be very little restrictions left, if at all.

However, the goal post has shifted and some restrictions still remain e.g. indoor establishments subjected to density quotas as well as a limit on home visitors. Although masks are no longer mandatory outdoors where social distancing can be maintained, they are still required indoors which makes my time in the gym that much harder. Fortunately I see many have their masks down to their chins and that's accepted as breathing while exercising would be difficult otherwise. Hence I simply have my nose exposed when doing weights unless someone with real BO issues come past. In that way, having a mask on can be a blessing (another glass half-full example). My exercise band and home-made dumb bells are never far away though as I know all this can be taken away from us in an instant.

I’ll never whinge about a conservative government especially seeing what a government oblivious of the suffering of its people is capable of (cue the on-his-last-few-breaths American president). That being said, I do get a little bored in the weekends now that restrictions have eased and so I'm making an effort to get out more by contacting friends to join in their activities. Frankly I'm surprised I'm unable to survive as a hermit forever and it only took a pandemic for me to realise that.

Work-wise, my patience with my current company is wearing really thin with the lack of support, leadership and oversight amidst crazy project schedules whilst working remotely. I’ve been complaining about this for the longest time and will keep doing so – if you don’t take care of the true money-makers (i.e. engineers), only the bottom-of-the-barrel crap “talent” and the foolish will stay with you. Without good people, all companies shrivel and die, and I hope this one does if it doesn’t improve its game.

Now before you accuse me of being in this category of foolish employees (I admit I have been for some years not without reason though), I need to stop you there. Although I still have both feet inside the figurative office door, they will not be for much longer. That’s if the things I’ve set in motion work out as planned. Like I mentioned in my last post, I can’t announce it formally till things are confirmed and sadly, they won’t be till at least maybe a month or two into the new year. When that happens, my wretched work life and boring non-work life will change drastically and I’m 70% sure the change will be for the better. Oh, and Ision will really enjoy the change too so it’s an absolute win-win.

One of the most effective ways I cure boredom in the weekends is to write songs and I’ve been very productive ever since I discovered this regularly-updated site filled with lots of backing tracks for lazy songwriters like me to choose from. There are lots of genres available and I'd usually pick one that suits my mood for the day. For this month's musical post, I'm presenting a piece I did when I was in the mood for a bit of fun.

In my opinion, there are too many love songs about the sorrows of loss and not enough of them celebrating the joys of loss. To me, loss is not a negative word when one is losing something that's going to cause more harm by clinging on to it. This song is about a guy moving on from a toxic relationship and sarcastically wishing his ex's new man the best of luck after finally realising that there's no point in holding on to something's that's already dead. Without the dead weight, the protagonist feels so light and free till the point he thinks he can fly, and  I chose a clip that portrays this freedom. 

We're approaching the last month of the year and although it's been a shitty 2020, 2021 is definitely worth looking forward to. Like the song, I know it'll be a year filled with that freedom as I celebrate the loss of a major source of anguish and pain. I love this new composition to bits and I hope you do too.

[Step Aside]

Scrolling through those happier times
Just wanna let misery seep into my life
Holding on to hope that this time
I can let it go and move right on with my life

Don't let what you see fool you
Underneath the smile I'm all blue
This wall of pain to break through
I can't but I have to

Say goodbye, don't wanna cry and miss you no more
You're not the guy, not gonna fight you anymore
Now it's time, to stop the lies and to end this war
Not looking back, I'm over you, and out the door

I don't wanna turn back time
'Cos I'm not afraid of a solitary life
Go ahead and turn off the light
A world without him no longer feels like a cold night

I can finally start anew
I'm done with your shit and with you
Can't stop him from getting screwed
So best of luck you two

On a high, like I can fly, so just let me soar
Colours so bright, not black and white and grey anymore
Tears are dry, I'll take my time to love myself more
It feels so right 'cos I'm not with you anymore

Now the weak part of me has died
And I realise what freedom is like
I will wear all these scars with pride
I'm back on my feet so step aside

Say goodbye, don't wanna cry and miss you no more
You're not the guy, not gonna fight you anymore
Now it's time, to stop the lies and to end this war
Not going back, I've blocked you now, so please don't call me anymore

On a high, like I can fly, so just let me soar
Colours so bright, not black and white and grey anymore
Tears are dry, I'll take my time to love myself more
I feel so light 'cos you're not in me anymore

Musical journey (122)

Melbourne is open for business again!!! 

I'm pleased to report that restaurants and retail have now re-opened, there's no longer any reason required to leave home and the 5km-turned-25km travel limit as well as the regional border restriction will both be removed in about a weeks' time. Oh, and not forgetting the biggest thing i.e. gyms are also to open from 9th November. Although my exercise band and home-made dumbbells work wonders and I'm starting to question whether a gym membership is needed at all, I'll still be returning to weights... for now.

No matter how much some people criticise the government for being conservative at the expense of the economy, they can't deny they're thankful they're not in Europe and USA right now where priorities the other way around have featured in national policies. They're shutting down this very moment (albeit a little late) to fight their second wave as we successfully exit ours. All the sacrifices Melburnians have made over the last 111 days of lockdown (one of the longest in the world) have paid off and we all collectively deserve a pat on our backs.

And also, I'm becoming 42 tomorrow! I shall look at this from a glass-half-full perspective not least because in this magical grey area, I can traverse both the "daddy" and "son" scenes which is something I've been taking full advantage of ever since I hit 40. The picture below sums it up so well (that happened when I was simultaneously chatting to two people). 

 

 

I actually also have another MAJOR piece of good news that I'm desperately wanting to share but I still can't do that because I don't want to jeopardise another thing I want happen but rest assured, when it's the appropriate time, I'll make sure it's front-and-centre on this blog! To celebrate this extremely pleasing event, Melbourne's re-opening as well as my birthday, I'll be wearing my flashy LED mask I bought online (picture below) as I head for my first dining-out experience since 26th June as the occasion truly calls for it. 

Last but not least, here's my musical offering for the month and it's my topless cover of Taiwanese singer 张韶涵's "引路的风筝" (the previous posts in this "pink shorts" series are here: 1 2). I've just learnt the song (original version here) when that recording was done because I loved it too much to wait to master it, so if you know it well, please pardon the mistakes (there's one especially big one). That being said, this is not an easy song to sing!

Musical journey (121)

We're still deep in Stage 4 lock down and the path out of it depends on keeping the 14-day rolling average new case numbers below a threshold (30 - 50 for the next step and 5 for the one after that). This has put the entire state population's attention glued to the daily statistics in the hope that things are progressing in the right direction.

Fortunately they are (our number today is 22.1) and we're moving to the next step of easing of restrictions from midnight tonight. Though the things that are eased are minor and I'm not really impacted by them (other than perhaps the lifting of the curfew), we need to get to this next step before conquering the next one so it's important to all of us. Fingers crossed we move successfully from step to step (modelling shows the next progression will come in 3 weeks), especially when we've all worked so hard and sacrificed so much to keep the numbers down!

On the work front, things are quietening down and I'm running out of work yet again (curse COVID-19)! However it's not all bad news because I got "head-hunted" on LinkedIn by a recruiter and after a chat with her, I was shortlisted for an interview with the PNG firm I worked for from 2014 to 2016.

I'm so sick with my current company and how it doesn't take care of its engineers (the people who actually make the money). Hence, I'll have to put in some effort to prepare for the interview next week and if I do get the gig, it'll be the best middle-finger-to-you exit from where I am now. The most awesome thing is I've worked there before (did something very similar) and even know some of the interviewers. So fingers and toes both crossed and wish me luck!

This month's musical post features a cover from 毛不易, one of my favourite singer-songwriters from China. I discovered him through this song and then found out how talented a songwriter he is. I admire him greatly as he writes these pieces that I'm never be able to. That is also why I follow his new releases very closely. I have covered him once already here and I hope you're in the mood for one more!