Saturday, September 30, 2023

Musical journey (157)

I'm now in PNG and standing in for my boss for a week, all while having a site-wide potable water supply emergency to fix. So this will be a short post as I'm totally swamped (things just keep getting better and better here!). I'll be posting pictures from my recent Singapore trip soon, so stay tuned.

When I was back in Singapore after being more than 3.5 years away through the COVID period, the first thing that hit me was how aged Mummy has become. Though she's still mobile and healthy, I was reminded of how frail and vulnerable human lives can be.

Hence, not only have I bought my tickets to be back home for Chinese New Year to spend more time with Mummy, I'm also sharing a song I wrote about how difficult death can be for the loved ones that are left behind. It's a fictional but nonetheless hugely emotional song.

We can never be totally prepared for it, but I hope when the time comes for me to traverse that journey, I'll be more ready.



[带我走]

词 / 曲 : 锦泉
 
是时候
在痛尽头
你终于找到了出口
再一步就不得不放手

恨没有
多在你左右
可惜回不了头
如今回首
哭声在风中颤抖

带我走
我不想松开手
怪我不能够
陪你到最后
泪无止尽地流
要如何我才能跟你走

你离开后
在迷雾中独自承受
对不起当时开不了口
现在听我放声嘶吼

带我走
我不想松开手
怪我不能够
陪你到最后
泪无止尽地流

能不能带我走 
为何只能在这守候
不停挥着手
你一路好走
别回头

从今以后
终于自由


[Take Me With You]

Written By: Kim
 
It is time
At the end of pain
You have found the exit
One more step
And I will have to let go

It is a pity I did not spend more time by your side
It is too late
To look back now
The sound of sobbing trembling in the wind

Take me with you
I do not want to let go
It is my fault
Not being able to be with you till the end
As tears endlessly fall
What must I do to come with you

After you are gone
I will be suffering alone in a fog
I could not say sorry then
Now hear me yell

Take me with you
I do not want to let go
It is my fault
Not being able to be with you till the end
As tears endlessly fall

Can you please take me with you
Why can I only wait by your side
Waving my hand ceaselessly
Farewell and godspeed
Do not look back

From now on
You are finally free




Sunday, August 20, 2023

Musical journey (156)

Looking back now 15 years after leaving home, with my current maturity and world view, I'm not sure if I'd make the same move that easily. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it was a error and there's not a shred of regret all these years, but still that was such a big life decision and it must have taken quite a bit of impulse for me to have done that.

I've talked about the reasons for leaving Singapore as well as the things I miss the most back home many times here. So, rather than repeating myself, I'll dedicate this month's musical post to those who have left their birth families to live or work in foreign lands.

As one of many wandering children of the world or "游子", that feeling of being uprooted and the constant search for a sense of  warmth and belonging is hard to describe in words but this song says it so well. It's my cover of "歌谣" (or "Songs Back Home") by Chinese singer/song-write 李荣浩, one of my favourite.

On the eve of my first home-coming trip since COVID swept the world, let me share how deeply I feel about home. It's been more than three and half years, 妈咪, 我快到家了...



Sunday, July 30, 2023

Musical journey (155)

What's your OCD? Come on, you can tell me. Everybody has at least one!

People who know me will know that mine is the need to document every monetary transaction (and a growing list of other things) in my enormous spreadsheet that keeps getting bigger. In fact, I wrote about it here.

I know that "OCD" is a clinical term like "depression" and shouldn't be used willy-nilly but it's such a neat little acronym that sums up the unique idiosyncrasies that define each and everyone of us. That's what makes people interesting right?

In this age of AI, does computer programming suffer mutations as well and once in while create something so uniquely broken that can't be reproduced? We're human and having OCDs is proof that we're human We're all broken in some wonderful way so let's embrace our OCDs and celebrate them with this new composition!

[OCD]

Checking on the locks not once, not twice but three times
All these books just have to be facing the right side
Black with black, white with white, shit must be all aligned
You might think I'm out of my mind
Sometimes I think you're right

I don't let things get out of line
But they still do no matter how hard I try

Please don't diss me, criticise me
Just do right by me
It's not easy, I'm not crazy
Just let me be

I know you'll never understand
This will never end
So busy and so weary
Who can put me out of my misery

Cleaning, rinsing, scrubbing, washing, wipe after wipe
Decimal places for numbers have to be five
Every sheet, every tweet, has to be filed just right
Life has become such a grind
It's so not my design

There's no such thing as a compromise
There's nothing I will not over-analyse

Please don't diss me, criticise me
Just do right by me
It's not easy, I'm not crazy
Just let me be

I know you'll never understand
This will never end
So busy and so weary
Who can put me out of my misery

Need to find my own kind
Need to find those sick common ties that will bind
To be whole, get back in control
So I can do the same old, same old

Please don't judge me, come indulge me
You can't set me free
Quietly screaming, deeply stuck in anxiety

I know you'll never comprehend
These rules I'll never bend
So satisfying but oh so draining
It's a choice but not one made by me

I don't let things get out of line
There's no such thing as a compromise
I don't let things get out of line
There is no such thing



Friday, June 30, 2023

Sail away

It's time to share some of the pictures I took on my virginal cruise trip last month, as well as my thoughts on the overall experience. So here goes.

 
Since resuming the FIFO life in my current job, I’ve been flying so much for work. I’ve also not travelled since COVID started, so it was very strange to be on a flight that’s not work-related. This was a quick snap as I waited to board.


I was on the Carnival Splendor and that was one of the smaller cruise ships as it was not a long trip. Still, the vessel was huge when I saw it up close. I wonder how it compared to the Titanic in terms of size. I was supposed to take a PCR test before boarding but I didn’t and managed to bluff my way through. So much for being COVID-safe.


This was the view from the balcony in my room. Rooms with a balcony are more expensive and for good reason. I peeked at one of the rooms without a window and it was bad. Then I saw another tiny room that housed four with two on pull-down rickety bunk beds. It was like a prison cell! I was so thankful for being in a much better room.


While waiting for the ship to sail, I went all noob-tourist and snapped up pictures of my room and the harbour view. I didn’t expect my room to be this big. Frankly, I didn’t have many expectations at all before the trip which I find is the best way to get into a new experience. Could you sense my excitement from the picture?


According to some who have gone on many Carnival cruises, the food quality has dropped compared to pre-COVID days. I guess the industry suffered greatly from the pandemic and they must be cutting costs to recoup their losses. Some meals were sub-par, but I think they were acceptable overall. Here’s a collage of the dinners at the Golden Pearl Restaurant. There were two dinner time slots to choose from and those on the earlier one would surely feel hungry if they were staying up late (e.g. if they were attending dance parties). The only food that was available throughout the night was pizza and there was always a long queue for it. When one’s hungry, the pizza does taste pretty good!


I guess this view of the Opera House and Harbour Bridge must be one of the major highlights for the passengers as the ship set off because one could only see the landmarks from this angle and at this height on a cruise. I lived in Sydney for four years so this did not do much for me, but you can’t deny that this sight must have been extremely impressive to many on board.


How can I give up the opportunity to flex it up? This was taken on my balcony when we finally hit open water. The sea was still calm then, but the waves did get choppy at times. It sure felt strange walking on a moving vessel and sometimes I needed to stop for a second to regain my balance.


It was Mother’s Day that weekend and here was the cake that they put up to celebrate the event in front of the open pool. If only it was warmer, I could have swum but the weather wasn’t that suitable for it, plus there were LOTS of kids and families which really turned me off. The next cruise I go on could very well be one that ban kids.


Can you believe this is food for one? That was how much I took from the lunch buffet, but I definitely didn’t eat it all. It was pandemonium during the lunch time rush and there were SO many people. I was totally shocked when I saw the crowds for the first time (there were 3,000 on board!). The frustrating thing was you had to queue up at various stations to get different kinds of food (e.g. Indian, roast, burger, etc.). Why can’t they just have everything at one location? There were lots of Indians on board (weirdly so) which explained the standalone Indian section of the buffet.


The service on board was good and this was one of the cute towel animals they put on the bed every time they made it. I guess the service must be good to balance the “hard sell” tactic they used in everything. There was a base layer and then everything else was an add-on at extra charge (e.g. the use of the gym was free but you had to pay for the jacuzzi). Luckily, I had a drinks package, otherwise the final drinks tab would be monumental! I was also hoping there were more shops on board but there weren’t many–they were selling boring touristy things anyway.


It was certainly windy and chilly on the deck even in bright daylight and I must be one of the unusual ones getting topless (perhaps the only one even and I did love the attention 😊). I just couldn’t help myself! And one more gun show wouldn’t hurt right?


This was a cruise that went nowhere, and this was the route that was taken. Strict rules were observed in serving alcohol and operating the casino i.e. they could only do that in open water. In my opinion, the company must have already recouped all costs from a single night of operating the casino! In addition to the “no kids” rule, the next cruise I’d take would be one that actually goes somewhere, and that you get to disembark and visit a new land. Otherwise, you’re just stuck on board and there are only so much to do other than watching shows (cabaret and stand up), line-dancing (there was lots of it) or karaoke.


A shot of the breakfasts. I remember a cute gay couple beside my table during one of the breakfasts and they were being discreet but anyone with a gaydar could tell. There were many hot Lebanese but sadly all of them were either straight or with wife and kids. There were regular LGBTQ+ mixers but I dropped iny one or two of them and no one piqued my interest.


Here are two staff members I interacted with the most. The top guy was the Serbian maître d at the Restaurant and was quite cute and tall. The bottom guy was the DJ for the many karaoke sessions I sang at. There were not many things that interested me, so I went for every karaoke event and did two to three numbers at each one. To me, that was a performance, not karaoke, and I cherish every opportunity to sing in front of an audience. I shared one of the clips I recorded last month in this entry and will be posting more over the coming months. I actually had my own fan club following me around–they were elderly ladies and I called them “The Golden Girls”.


This is my current Whatsapp profile pic (the right shot) as I really like it. This is the picture that crystallises my memory of the first-ever cruise I took. I had a good time and most importantly, the experience didn’t scar me and cruising is something that I’d definitely do again (no, not the sex kind! 😜).

Friday, June 23, 2023

Musical journey (154)

It's my second day back in frigid Melbourne after a gruelling rotation #11 and it's time to vegetate to the max for the next 4 weeks so this will be a short post, especially when Final Fantasy XVI was released just yesterday! Based on the videos I've seen so far of the gameplay, it looks like an awesome game so as usual, I won't have much time for anything else!

As mentioned in an earlier post, I went on my virginal cruise trip last month and I have some pictures from that holiday to post soon. But first, let me share something I filmed on board the ship called "Carnival Splendor" during one of the many karaoke sessions I took part in during the cruise.

This month's musical offering is a live rendition of "Flying Without Wings". I didn't do the high notes well I must admit but I still impressed the audience nonetheless. And apologies too for the end when my fixed phone camera got obstructed. I really need my own personal videographer!

This song holds deep meaning for me as it was one of Greg's favourite (only when I sang to him). I think of Greg every time I attempt this song and I hope he can hear it where he is right now, high up above, and forever inside my heart.



 

Saturday, May 27, 2023

Musical journey (153)

I'm now in Papua New Guinea on my second day back and nursing a stomach flu thing. I didn't go to work this morning so I could visit the site doctor and am recuperating now with just pain-relief medication. I was feeling terrible last night and had a really bad sleep but I hope I'll feel better soon with some rest.

However, I do have some good news to share on the work front. Apparently, verbal commitment that my role will not be removed from site has been given (verbal is better than nothing I guess). This means that I can stick to the current FIFO work arrangement which is something Ision and I really like.

If I'm indeed staying in this job in the medium term, at this rate, I'll hit my next savings goal in a little under 2.5 years. By then, I'll have to seriously consider if I really want to continue in this line but for now, it's back to work for me.

In my last post, I mentioned that I'd be heading to my first-ever cruise. I'm glad to report that I had a great time and that I'm not rejecting the idea of going on another one. There are some nice pictures and videos to show you but I'll leave that to my next post.

The musical offering this month is a song I wrote for a friend when I was still living in Sydney. He was lonely back then and was trying to find a partner. I was in the same situation (perhaps many times worse) years before when I was still struggling with coming out so it was easy to tap into that experience and energy for this song.

This friend is now happily attached in a long-term relationship and often makes me a little jealous how happy he is with his partner. So for those out there still living in "singledom" and seeking, I strongly feel that there's always someone out there for everyone, so be patient, hang in there and enjoy this new composition in the meantime.


[I Know]

If love is just around the corner
Why does my hurt find no closure
Can happiness be any closer

An open story with no ending
No, it's not over
An open heart that's waiting for
A keeper

Come out
Oh come out of the shadows
Here I am standing in this cold
I need your hand to hold
I will share with you my soul

The moon is shy tonight
As I meander along these street lights
So many pretty faces shining bright

Never stopping
Never ever locking eyes
I know one fine day someone will
Be mine

Come out
Oh come out of the shadows
I don't wanna do this alone
Love is out there I’ve been told
You’re out there somewhere
I know

I know
I don't know
I know
I don't know
I know
I don't know
I know



Friday, April 28, 2023

Musical journey (152)

Hello from Melbourne! My expression in that pic sums up how I feel right now, which is fucking happy. I'm SO glad to be back home after a gruelling hitch.

This rotation was especially tough because the performance rating issue raised in my previous post got resolved in the most devastating way on the third day of my hitch and this wrecked the rest of my time on site. The outcome was so frustrating that I don't wish to elaborate here. Suffice to say, it's clear the company under new management does not recognise my value and effort. You know what that means right? We shall see what happens in the coming months. But enough of that because it's now time to play!

Well, "play" would of course consist of both G-rated and non-G rated fun. I'm going on a cruise departing Sydney in 2 weeks' time, the first one in my life. Take that, bucket list! I bet there's going to be a lot of non G-rated fun on board and I'll post some shareable pictures here for sure!

In the G-rated sense, I'd soon be knee-deep in the long-awaited DLC for "Horizon: Forbidden West" called "Burning Shores" (launch trailer here). But I'd have to familiarise myself with the controls again first because after finishing the main game, I went on to complete three more namely "Elden Ring", "God of War: Ragnarok" and "Hogwarts Legacy". Because I'm don't play MMO games, I don't regard myself as a serious gamer but I guess compared to those who don't play at all, I'm a true addict! 

Before I complete this DLC and move on to "Final Fantasy XVI" (only released on 22/06/2023), I've recorded a cover of the game's theme song called "In the Flood" (original version here), which is this month's musical offering.

As an amateur song-writer, I truly admire those who can write game soundtracks especially those that bring out the feel so well. This song gave me chills the first time I heard it during the game's introduction as it tells the tale of the lead character Aloy's harsh and lonely journey perfectly. I hope I do it justice!



 

Sunday, March 26, 2023

Musical journey (151)

It's my last weekend of break #9 as I mentally prepare for rotation #10 in PNG. You see, I've been watching true crime forensic investigation documentaries non-stop for the past few days. It's the science that fascinates me but I must say, these shows do weigh you down mentally as you try to rationalise the grisly scenes with the psyche of those murderers.

Although people keep saying "every dog has its day", I can't help but wonder if there's ever a legitimate reason to take another's life. That conundrum will remain unsolved like the countless cold cases unless we truly walk in the killers' shoes, which is impossible. After indulging in so much bloodshed in the name of science, it'll take quite a bit of mental detachment to get me back to work mode.

Speaking about work, this coming month is the one when adjustments to remuneration is made based on employees' past year's performance. I was told that my agreed performance ranking amongst all the bosses was in line with my self-assessment i.e. two levels above "meets expectations" (or "outstanding" which is the highest possible ranking) but after what they call "calibration" where I'm ranked against other engineers in the company, the final ranking was only one level above (or "exceeds expectations"). Whilst this is disappointing, at least it's an improvement compared to last year.

To make it worse, me and my back-to-back were caught in an error made by HR in which we were denied performance-based bonuses. We've fought hard to get our contracts corrected but to date have still not received definitive response from HR admitting to their mistakes. It's unfortunate too that the company is notorious for cost-cutting which includes employee's wages and benefits. Sigh... such shortsightedness. It's no wonder people are leaving the company because this reorganisation post-takeover just doesn't sit well with staff from the old company, not to mention this is really wage theft by another name.

Performance-based bonuses are one thing but to me, the performance ranking is the irrefutable recognition that I want because it's one of my greatest work motivators. Hence, even if there were no bonuses, I need that ranking to reflect the truth but alas it does not, as the company doesn't recognise the value I add especially in the area of coaching and mentoring of the PNG workforce.

The new company that took over although fundamentally doesn't understand PNG as they've never operated in the country before, it nonetheless rules in a "my way or the highway" fashion. Highly frustrating as it is, I guess the consolation is that at least I know my original ranking i.e. the one that came from the bosses that I'm close to (and friends with), was right. This is the ranking that matters as only they know what I really do on site. Well, that's enough venting for now.

This month's musical offering is yet another topless cover from my all-time favourite singer Faye Wong titled "推翻" or "Overturn" (original song here), and is a track from her third album after moving to a new recording label back in 1999. It's such a pity that she has stopped releasing new albums other than movie soundtracks and the occasional numbers for special events. If she'd ever create a new record, I'll be the first in line to buy it! Here are the previous topless covers I've done in this pink shorts series: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8.

As the Australian Labor Party celebrates New South Wales finally turning from a blue to red state with the election win declared today (and having a uber-hot new premier), I'll see you here again at the start of my next break!


 

Saturday, February 25, 2023

Musical journey (150)


Oooo, that's hot! More about that below.

It's my last week in PNG for this rotation and I can't wait to get back home not only because of the highly stressful hitch but there's also a new PlayStation game waiting for me ("Hogwarts Legacy"). With this game, my next break is all set. I can also binge on 5 episodes of the new HBO series "The Last of Us" which was adapted from one of my favorite games.

Other games I've played that will be made into shows include "Horizon: Zero Dawn" and "Ghost of Tsushima"and I can't wait for them to be released. Playstation VR2 is also out now but I need to test it out first before purchase as I worry it's not that suitable for people wearing glasses like me. If that's all good, I already have a VR2 title I want to buy i.e. "Horizon: Call of the Mountain".

So you can see I'm quite an avid gaymer but I don't play online games as that can be much more addictive plus I'm too stingy to pay for a PlayStation Plus subscription. While I can be a vegetative nerd at home, I do also get outside to soak in what nature has to offer e.g. I went for the gay camping trip as mentioned in my last post (unfortunately there's no photos from the event as picture- and video-taking was not allowed due to privacy concerns).

That being said, I tend to only go out in the day as I get older due to my biological clock. Hence, I don't really go clubbing that much nowadays unless I have friends wanting me to tag along. However, dance parties will always be a huge part of the gay community, especially when most of them in Melbourne also include dedicated areas for sex.

Yes, you might say that's so hedonistic but I believe this is one big thing straight guys are jealous of us. I always say that if such events exist for hetreos, that will be the end of civilisation as I daresay it'll be even more addictive than gambling.

While we're still on the topic of clubbing, here's a new dance anthem I've written in time for Sydney World Pride which is currently in full swing (Midsumma has just ended in Melbourne). This number calls for everyone to ignore what haters say and be the best self you can be as you dance and party all night. Yes, there will be sex and that's just how we homos do it. That teaser clip above with me sweating it out in the gym was posted on Facebook before the song's formal "release". Maybe that's what people call a "thirst trap".

Hope all you guys have lots of fun and play wild (while listening to this song of course 😊).


[Just Wanna Dance]

All this bullshit piling high
Can't deal, can't feel
You're running low
No end in sight
All this drama
To it just say "good try"
"Kiss my ass goodbye"

All these haters passing by
The swill they spew
Just let it go
Don't try to fight
All the tears now wipe them all dry
It's time, from the depths you'll rise

Take it off, let me inside
Lay it bare for me, that's right
Let your body shine so bright
I'm here to take you to a place so damn high

Don't wanna care tonight
Just wanna dance tonight
Sweat it out and you'll be alright
Get in my head tonight
Not coming down tonight
Let your hands follow the light

Don't wanna sleep tonight
Just wanna fuck tonight
Pump it up and you'll be alright
Safe in my arms tonight
I'll not let you go tonight
Feel your hands squeezing me tight

How do you feel inside
Tell me are you satisfied
I'm just getting started, so sit tight
Oh boy, you're in for such a ride

Don't wanna care tonight
Just wanna dance tonight
Sweat it out and you'll be alright
Get in my head tonight
Not coming down tonight
Let your hands follow the light

Don't wanna sleep tonight
Just wanna fuck tonight
Pump it up and you'll be alright
Safe in my arms tonight
I'll not let you go tonight
Feel your hands squeezing me tight

That dominance
Gets you so high
Need my touch
Night after night

Your hungry eyes
Get me so high
I need your kiss
Night after night



Thursday, January 26, 2023

Musical journey (149)

  

Happy Australia Day and Happy Lunar New Year of the Rabbit (hence the picture above)!

It's summer and this time, even the laziest person on the planet i.e. me, is making an effort to enjoy the warm weather and nature. You see, before I go back to PNG for rotation #9, I'm departing today for a 4-day gay camping trip in country Victoria (near Benalla). The event is called "Guys Go Wild!" Nude Edition" and is a sex-positive one so you can imagine there are plenty reasons to go for it. Visit this Facebook page to find out more.

I've been to a nude camping event like this in 2011 at the Bouddi National Park in New South Wales and didn't quite enjoy it as I didn't fit in well. But now, more than 10 years have, I'm much more secure with my body and with a stronger sexual confidence, I do hope that I'll enjoy myself more this time as I'm also going alone (though I'm carpooling with a guy from metro Melbourne). I aim to take some interesting pictures and when I do, I'll share them here.

Before I hop onto my ride to Benalla, here's a new composition celebrating summer. As you'd expect, all my songs are written from the gay perspective as I put myself as the protagonist in most of my songs. Also, the world has too many songs about straight love and attraction already and so we need really more gay-positive songs.

The scenario conjured up in this piece is very much like what I'll be encountering at the camping event i.e. lots of hot guys and a perfect place for romance (and hot fun 🔥👿). Notable differences are the location (i.e. not at the beach) and the fact that the camping guys will not be wearing speedos (as it's a nudist event). If you want to know what goes on when a huge group of naked homos congregate, just listen to the song!


[Summer]

Sunnies on, sat by the beach
And a daiquiri in my hand
Getting all the sun that I can
Under palm trees
Laughing with friends
Such an intoxicating blend

Looking at those gorgeous men in tiny speedos
So hot, you need a fan
The beat is so delicious
Up you stand and go grab this chance
You don't need a plan
Just ask him for a dance

Summer's made for sweet romance
Get drunk on love and crash
Then do it all again
Don't sweat it, just do it
'Cos we all know you want it
So let's make a splash
Don't want this to end

Get your tan and sunnies on
Sat by the beach
And a daiquiri in my hand
Getting all the sun that I can
Under palm trees
Laughing with friends
Such an intoxicating blend

Looking at those gorgeous men in tiny speedos
So hot, you need a fan
The beat is so delicious
Up you stand and go grab this chance
You don't need a plan
Just ask him for a dance

Summer's made for sweet romance
Get drunk on love and crash
Then do it all again
Don't sweat it, just do it
'Cos we all know you want it
So let's make a splash
Don't want this to end
Go snag your man

Promise you I'll be back
I won't kiss and forget
This is definitely more than
Just a one night stand

Promise me you'll be back
Please don't kiss and forget
I want this to be much more than
Just another one night stand

Summer's made for sweet romance
Get drunk on love and crash
Then do it all again
Don't sweat it, just do it
'Cos we all know you want it
Go on, make a splash
Don't want this to end
Summer's made for sweet romance



Saturday, December 31, 2022

FIFO life 2022 / Musical journey (148)

From the Southern Highlands of PNG, let me squeeze in a final post on the eve of 2023.

As I grow older, it's easier to make me contented. You can say I'm getting lazier but I see this as a sign of growth and maturity, and is in line with my ever-decreasing tolerance of bullshit and drama. You can clearly see this from my blog posts of late as updates become more minimal and mundane. This also means that my work life has gradually become more exciting than my non-work life which I never expected would happen. In this last post of the year, I'll share some photos that will give you a taste of what happens at work and how FIFO life has been for me for 2022.


As a rotational worker, there's lots of flying and this is me on an Air Niugini flight when the mask requirement was still in place (thank goodness it's not anymore). This is the first time I flew business class for work but they didn't serve any food in the name of COVID restrictions (which was bullshit as it was simply a cost-cutting measure), so I didn't really enjoy the full business-class treatment.


2022 saw yet another round of company restructure when the organisation I joined last year got acquired by another company. Naturally, people would be let go and this was the farewell party for one of the biggest boss on site after many years of service. We sent him off at the airport too and had the fire truck spray water over his departing flight as it taxied on the runway. He must have been so touched.


I don't eat very well in the day when at work as the cribs as we call them (basically pre-packed lunches) are not good but we get to eat well at the main mess for dinner. In fact, food choices can get a little over-the-top during festive celebrations. Pictured here is the spread we had on Christmas night. I guess this is the only way the company can compensate us for having to spend the holiday period on site. 


Lots of flying means lots of time spent in airports. This is Cairns Airport when we still had the charter flights. The company wanted to reduce costs with them but because occupancy was so low, each ticket turned out to be ten times more expensive than a seat on a commercial flight. This charter service ended soon after it was introduced and now we're back to transiting in Brisbane on Qantas.


Apart from the gym on site (which unfortunately is closed for renovation at the moment), there are many ways to exercise and one of them is to walk from the plant back to the camp after work. Because of the rugged terrain and the fact that you can only walk at a pace to suit the weakest member in the party, the journey takes about 90 minutes. On my right is one of my bosses (a silver muscle daddy). He stole a glance once when I took off my top jogging with him and that made my day. By the way, I don't keep my finding him hot a secret to his back-to-back!


Under my care in PNG are two oil and gas plants, a refinery and an offshore platform. This was me on a helicopter flight to the platform and it was my first trip to that work site. I aim to drop by once every other hitch but there had been various restrictions that stopped me ranging from COVID breakouts, helicopter damage, bad weather or simply being too busy. Hence, I've been there only once. I'll continue to try visiting in the new year.


On Sundays we have a good lunch feed at the plant and we call that "Sunday barbecue". This is the thing that keeps us sane as we have to put up with bad cribs through the week. The barbecue pictured took place just before the major planned shutdown in April this year. The original idea of the barbecue was for us to cook the raw meat as a group and socialise in the process but over time, the cooking responsibility fell on the shoulders of the same few people and they got unhappy. Since then, the food comes delivered already barbecued. And yes, we always overeat every Sunday.


COVID restrictions made travelling to work extremely tough. I absolutely don't miss the PCR tests and paperwork that I have to put up with as I prepared for an upcoming hitch. This green band was to indicate that we've been tested and confirmed negative before we were allowed in the camp. This band is simply a small circular sticker now that most restrictions have eased.


A snap from the volleyball tournament finals when I went to support my team. I usually sleep soon after dinner i.e. before 8pm and this event was way past my bed time but I had to be there to cheer them up. My team won the match and the tournament, so it was all worth it.


This was my first post on LinkedIn where I gave everyone a glimpse of my work life. A lot of the people in the picture have moved on to other roles. One thing that didn't change from my previous 2014 - 2016 stint in PNG was how cheerful and spirited the people always are, despite the tough work conditions. And yes, this photo was taken during one of the Sunday barbecues.


We have to be put up in a hotel often due to flight schedule changes and bad weather. The hotel is called "Airways" and is next to the Jacksons International Airport in Port Moresby and is supposedly the best hotel in PNG. Pictured is the best room-type I was once allocated. Not too shabby huh? I usually also get to stay a night there before I fly home which is a perfect chance to decompress and adjust back to civilisation.


This is me on the offshore platform and stealing a moment for a selfie! The food there is really good as the team is small and so the chef can focus on cooking well instead of worrying about feeding the masses. There are also snacks available around the clock. How I wish I were working there every day!


This is what locals call a "mumu", a celebration as a reward for our efforts during the planned total plant shutdown. "Mumu" is essentially a method of cooking where you bury food in the earth and apply heat with coals. We had two pigs cooked that way in a nearby village (home of one of my colleagues) and boy was everyone happy! 


This is the view from the block where I stay in the camp. No filters needed. I sometimes pause for a moment to admire the view. Although being in the Production Team means I sometimes only get back to my room when it starts to get dark, you also get rewarded with the perfect sunset when the timing's just right.


I actually spend more time at work than at home (including travelling time) so you kind of have a second family on site. For the first time in my work life, I actually have genuine care for my colleagues (especially one of my bosses), which makes work so much more fun. This is us celebrating Christmas in the plant office.


Life is never boring in PNG as operational issues crop up constantly e.g. we're currently in the initial phases of a prolonged plant outage required to rectify pipeline integrity issues. The good thing about being on FIFO is no matter how tough life is, it's all going to end after four weeks, albeit temporarily. You recharge back home and then do it all over again. It's not for everyone but I love it.

To conclude 2022, here's this month's musical offering which is my rendition of a very popular song  called "追" by the late Leslie Cheung. This song was made famous by the Hong Kong movie "金枝玉叶" ("He's a Woman, She's a Man"). I performed this when I was busking with my sister three years ago in Singapore (my previous busking clips can be found here: 1 2 3 4). Enjoy the song as well as the festivities. and here's wishing a Happy New Year and best wishes for 2023!



Wednesday, November 30, 2022

Musical journey (147)

Following the announcement that Section 377A of the Penal Code will be repealed in Singapore in August as mentioned in this post, it's officially been repealed yesterday! 29th November 2022 shall be the most important date in Singapore's gay history and to be honest, should be a day for the whole community or even country to celebrate annually in the future, like a gay public holiday.

One of the biggest reasons for my leaving Singapore is the fact that I couldn't live an honest life there and I wasn't patient enough to wait as I believed I won't be afforded equal rights in my lifetime. Fast forward 14 years and there's this first step in the right direction. Granted it's progress, it's still evident that things are moving too slowly. As an indication of how slow it's been, the history around 377A since its inception in 1938 when Singapore was still under British rule is neatly summarised in this article.

Unless there's an extremely unlikely chance of exponential development from here on, I wouldn't consider moving back. This is especially because the Constitution will be amended to protect the definition of marriage as between a man and a woman from legal challenges i.e. my marriage with Ision will never be recognised in Singapore.

Ever since coming out in my early twenties, I felt increasing alienation in my home country. My way of thinking, though absolutely normal to myself, was seen as too fringe and radical by society. My sense of self was so strong that there was no way I could find my identity in Singapore. Interestingly, if I were born in this age where people lived on social media, I'm not sure if I'd still make the same decision of leaving because social media could be a legitimate refuge.

This month's musical post is a new composition celebrating my sense of identity in today's world where I urge everyone to not blindly follow anyone or any movement. As views become more polarised, it's important for one to stay true to oneself and be mindful of echo chambers so you don't get trapped in them. Listen to your own voice and let that be the truth. This song mixes English and Chinese lyrics and has many of the elements of my past works all combined into one neat package which I'm pretty happy with. Tell me what you think!



[我不要比]

词 / 曲 : 锦泉
 
FB, IG 的世界少了些 originality
你的照骗修到你不像人
又有什么意义

只活在网路里,寻觅欢喜
这只是 make-believe
装神弄鬼,自欺欺人而已

Please let yourself breathe
You'll see life
其实可以很容易

我不要比, I just wanna be 自己
不费吹灰之力
表里如一, you get what you see
你不高兴, 我才懒得去理

活在我影子里,不必得意
要抑制 jealousy
我劝你还是早一点放弃

Please set yourself free
You'll thank me
放飞自我翱翔万里

我不要比, I just wanna beat 自己
就是那么臭屁
知己知彼, I am my enemy
势均力敌, 打得才会过瘾

You wanna be woke, don't wanna be broke
If you don't do a thing, you're nothing but a joke
Fake tan, fake news, fake friends, fake tush
Have faith in yourself and let that be the truth

你是否还在犹豫,是否还在考虑
自我怀疑扰乱了情绪
牛鬼上帝蛇神帮不了你
因为凡事都得靠自己

我不要比, I just wanna be 自己
不费吹灰之力
表里如一, you get what you see
你不高兴, 我才懒得理

我不要比, I just wanna beat 自己
就是那么臭屁
知己知彼, I am my enemy
不到最后, 不知谁会胜利


[Don't Wanna Compare]

Written By: Kim
 
The world of FB and IG lacks originality
Photoshopping your pics till you don't resemble a human
What's the point

Living only online looking for happiness
This is only make-believe
Your pretending to be someone else fools no one but yourself

Please let yourself breathe
You'll see life can actually be very simple

I don't wanna compare
I just wanna be myself
It requires no effort
Identical inside and out
You get what you see
I don't care if you're not happy

Living in my shadow
You shouldn't be proud
You need to control your jealousy
Take my advice and quit sooner than later

Please set yourself free
You'll thank me
Let your sense of self soar

I don't wanna compare
I just wanna beat myself
Yeah, I'm that cocky
Knowing myself and my foe
I am my enemy
It only means something if you fight one as strong as yourself

You wanna be woke, don't wanna be broke
If you don't do a thing, you're nothing but a joke
Fake tan, fake news, fake friends, fake tush
Have faith in yourself and let that be the truth

Are you still hesitating or still considering
Allowing self-doubt to affect your mood
Demons, gods or Jesus Christ can't help you
Because you can only depend on yourself

I don't wanna compare
I just wanna be myself
It requires no effort
Identical inside and out
You get what you see
I don't care if you're not happy

I don't wanna compare
I just wanna beat myself
Yeah, I'm that cocky
Knowing myself and my foe
I am my enemy
You won't know the victor until the end



Monday, October 31, 2022

Musical journey (146)

Hello to you all on the eve of my 44th birthday here in the highlands of Papua New Guinea! Yes yes, I know I'm ancient! 👴👴👴

Work is same old same old crazy but what's disappointing is although there's some beefing up of security, work at the remote sites are at a standstill and is slowly affecting my plant. You see, 4 employees were kidnapped while I was on break and the hostages were only released after 6 days. Perhaps these changes in security protocols need a much longer time to fully implement especially in such a challenging area, so I'll be patient, much like how I need to be waiting for the new organisational chart to be finalised.

I was told this security incident was due to the age-old issue of locals being owed land payments that have nothing to do with the company but seeing that the employees are there, they're used as leverage. I hope I don't ever become a victim. This is why expatriates working there are paid that salary because of such risks, amongst other hardships they have to endure like poor living conditions and long periods away from family.

My current hitch is a slightly longer one as I have 3 days of training in Port Moresby at the end so there's plenty of hotel buffet food to look forward to. Frankly I'd rather go home earlier as I don't really need those extra calories plus "God of War: Ragnarok" would be waiting for me to play. I seriously hope they'll fork out the overtime payment, like what they have "promised". I might also try to shift that training to a later session that suits my roster better (I need to talk to my manager about that).

Speaking about my manager, in the new organisational structure, I no longer report to my current managers but I was told that it's still "business as usual". Erm... how can it be "business as usual" when the entire reporting line is changed?! Well, we shall see. I was told the new organisational chart will be out tomorrow but I'm certainly not holding my breath for that!

And now it's topless KTV time again! This month features a number from my all-time favourite singer Faye Wong titled "你在终点等我" or "You're Waiting for Me at the Finish Line", and is the soundtrack from the 2016 Chinese movie "从你的全世界路过". What drew me to this song were the first 2 verses which sound really heavenly the way Faye sang it—listen for yourself here.

Now that there's absolutely no COVID restrictions remaining in Australia (not even the need to self-isolate if tested positive), I think it's time to plan a topless KTV recording session back home sometime as I'm dying to show some flesh again as summer approaches (the previous posts can be found here: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7) but I need to lean up first! I wonder how many people actually post clips like that on YouTube. I for one have not seen any yet so let me know if you have.


 

Thursday, September 29, 2022

Musical journey (145)

You know I've been wanting to go home yet can't find enough motivation? This problem is unfortunately getting worse. As a person who is not into travelling, the COVID restrictions and the fact that I already fly frequently for work are all contributing factors to this lethargy. The "final nail in the coffin" is the high prices as everyone wants to travel to Singapore now that there's no more quarantine requirements. Scoot, a budget airline, can charge more than a thousand bucks one way!

Regardless of how much I miss Singapore food and my mum, I just can't find the energy to go, especially now that work has changed the charter flight schedules yet again, thereby creating uncertainty around my rotational dates.

Coincidentally (or maybe ironically), many years ago, I wrote a song about wanting to return home (figuratively). That was a time when there were constant family quarrels as I struggled with issues of coming out at the same time. In the song, I wrote about the home that I remembered where everything was rosy. That was when I was young and still naive and it was growing up and the realisation that the real world was so cruel that killed the image of that warm loving home.

Fast forward 23 years, I've now refreshed that song with a new tune and it's time to take you on this musical journey for September 2022. Enjoy!



[回想 • 回家]

词 / 曲 : 锦泉
 
想起了从前
一眨眼就十几年
想回到过去
我人却在异乡
回不了从前

那温馨的画
如今已褪色风化
每一次想到这里泪水
情不自禁偷偷流下

让我回家  回家
回到我原来那个家
那是个最美丽的地方
没忧愁没哀伤
我当时为何没珍惜它

我要回家  回家
我不惜付出任何代价
事实总是催人成长
但我宁可回家
也不要这么快长大

那是个什么
什么样子的时代
那时候我们活得多愉快
叹好景已不再

我不忍目睹
摆在眼前的错误
我心里却深深地明了
真实世界冷冷的残酷

让我回到从前的家
好吗


[Missing Home • Returning Home]

Written By: Kim
 
Thinking back
More than ten years pass in a blink
I want to go back to that time
But I am in a foreign land
And I cannot return

That warm and loving portrait
Now faded and worn
When I think back
Tears always fall uncontrollably

Let me return home
Return to that home I remember
That is the most beautiful place
Where there is no worry and sadness
Why did I not treasure it in the past

Let me return home
I am willing to pay any price in return
The truth has forced me to mature
But I would rather return home
And not grow up so fast

I wonder what that period is
When we lived so happily
Alas good times never last

I cannot bear to see
The mistake in front of my eyes
I now understand deep in my heart
How coldly cruel the real world is

Please let me return to the home I remember



Sunday, August 28, 2022

Musical journey (144)

The Singapore government has announced this month that 377A will be repealed thereby decriminalising consensual sex between adult males!!! As someone who has spent his ten adult post-coming out years being a criminal, this is something worth celebrating. Although the constitution will now be changed to not allow the definition of marriage to be altered (i.e. will remain as between one man and one woman *yawn*), we should not be disheartened as the repeal of 377A has shown us that nothing can't be successfully challenged and that the autocratic government can indeed change. And like what the pic says—let's now aim for the sky and start our fight for our right to get married just like everyone else!

I'm now almost halfway into my 6th PNG rotation and winter is coming to a close back in Melbourne so I look forward to wearing less when I get home. I also tend to venture outdoors more when the weather gets warmer (even at night! 😅). That includes outdoor "fun" if you catch my drift. 😉 But that will have to wait as I'm stuck here at work where there's still as much uncertainty in the air as the time of my last post. I think things will get better only towards the end of the year but I'm not holding my breath as we all know how slow progress usually is post-merger/acquisition when it comes to changes to people and systems.

Talking about end of the year, many say that property prices will be at their lowest then (due to interest rate rises aimed at curbing inflation) but I never trust such predictions, not after economists foresaw a pandemic-driven drop in property prices (the opposite happened). In the meantime, I hope interest rates continue to rise to grow my nest egg. Seeing that I no longer have the goal of an early retirement (I'd be bored then) and I have no kids to provide for, I don't really need that much money to take on unnecessary risks. You see, I'm a very non-typical Asian as my only "investment" is savings in the bank.

That being said, the next major change in my life will be when Ision and I eventually move to the house that we'd be settling in for the long haul. My life now is really flat-lining in terms of excitement and you can tell by my blog posts (or a lack thereof). Although I've always said that I crave stability and a routine lifestyle, I'm starting to wonder what I should do in life other than to continue working, earning and saving. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that (I still love saving a lot) but maybe a little change might do me good?

Perhaps these questions stem from what we call a mid-life crisis since I'm at that age. This is such a good subject for a song too (* noting this down on my spreadsheet * 😊). I guess the thing that will never change is my passion for song-writing. That's my creative avenue to relieve stress and boredom, and I'm fortunate to have this in my life. I just shared my creations with more of my colleagues yesterday and they all loved my music! This month's musical post is a cute Mandarin composition on how much a husband wants his wife to stop nagging. This is a perfect summary of many straight long-term couples and thank goodness Ision and I don't have this problem. Leave a comment if you love this number!



[碎碎念]

词 / 曲 :  锦泉
 
别再说那么多
你多说就多错
懒得去费力气反驳
只会嘮叨啰嗦
胜过妈妈婆婆
不翻下白眼会难过

公事已够繁琐
看人脸色过活
回家竟还不能摆脱
亲爱的    哦  拜托
求求你别烦我
休息一下明天再说

是非八卦无法躲
谁跟谁睡
失恋崩溃
哪几个是整形鬼

一句接一句
电量从没低过
关小声点
少喝一点
哦  不要再碎碎念

别去想那么多
忍一下就会过
反正也没想要逃脱
选择一起生活
是我自找折磨
只怪抗压能力太弱

当初犹如花朵
如今变黄脸婆
若没感情怎能渡过
亲爱的听我说
我很爱你没错
但请你饶了我耳朵

一句接一句
机关抢没停过
开车慢点
打扫快点
哦  不要再碎碎念

为何不能少管我
耐不了你
快疯了
哦  神啊救救我


[Nagging]

Written By : Kim
 
Stop talking
The more you say, the more mistakes you make
But I'm lazy to talk back
Your droning and long-windedness
Is even worse than old women
If I don't roll my eyes, I'll feel upset

Work is already so burdensome
After being at the mercy of others' demands
I can't even shake that when I come home
Honey, oh please
I beg you to not bother me
Take a break and continue tomorrow

Can't avoid the gossiping
Who's sleeping with whom
Heartbreaks and breakdowns
Who have had too much plastic surgery

One sentence after another
Battery never once low
Turn it down
Drink less
Oh, please stop the nagging

Don't think too much
Tolerate a little longer and it'll all pass
Since you're not planning to leave anyway
My choosing to live together
Is me choosing torture
Blame my poor ability to withstand stress

You used to be a flower
But now you're no longer good-looking
If there weren't love, how could we have survived
Honey, please listen to me
I love you, don't get me wrong
But please have mercy on my ears

One sentence after another
The machine gun never stops
Drive slower
Clean faster
Oh, please stop the nagging

Why can't you leave me alone
I can't stand you and I'm getting crazy
Oh god, please save me



Thursday, July 28, 2022

Musical journey (143)

Looks like the announcement of that "major good news" in my last post was made perhaps a tad premature. My company is undergoing huge organisational changes and although such changes can uncover new opportunities, things are a little too uncertain. There's still a chance that I'll get what I want but I'd have to wait till the dust settles a bit before I can really see clear enough to make my next move. Hope my patience doesn't run out!

Winter is the season to be sluggish at home and grow some fat cells. Because it can get so cold sometimes, it makes you not want to leave the house. That being said, I still stay steadfast to my exercise regimen i.e. twice weights and twice cardio a week. I know my body well enough to know that I can quite easily get back into the shape I want and continuing to keep fit is key to the ease of these bodily transitions.

Without a new game to play after the completion of "Elden Ring", my time vegetating at home is spent writing songs and watching YouTube videos. I have an extremely boring and predictable life and I don't dislike it. I guess our partners do influence us to a large extent. If Ision were an outdoorsy person, I'm sure I'll be spending a lot more time in the sun with him (by the way the sun a.k.a wrinkle-giver is his mortal enemy). Anyway, now that I'm back on a 4/4 rotation, my break is shorter and so that's all the more cause to enjoy my time doing absolutely nothing.

Another reason why not venturing out is a good idea is because COVID is once again spreading here in Melbourne. Although I'm eligible for a second booster, I don't think I'll get it unless my company mandates it which is unlikely. This is because of the side effects I always suffer with COVID jabs and I don't yet see the benefits of getting the fourth vaccine compared to that. I hope travelling is not once again made difficult by this virus as that will add a whole lot more pain flying to and from work.

Speaking about flying, I do miss Singapore but having not travelled for leisure for so long (since COVID started), I feel really ambivalent about going home even though I miss my mum and the food so much. Money is not a factor at all, I just need a strong reason to book that air ticket and I'm still looking for it.

Another thing I miss is busking in Singapore and now that busking is once again allowed, perhaps this can be one of the draws for me to make that trip. This month's musical journey is a cover of "菊花台" (original by Jay Chou 周杰倫). This was recorded when I was busking with my sister during my last Singapore visit in 2020 (other posts in this busking series are here: 1 2 3). Hope you like it.



Thursday, June 30, 2022

Musical journey (142)

A quarter into my fifth PNG hitch marking the end of the first half of the year, this is me again lodging another blog entry. Sometimes I ask myself why am I still doing this and if anyone is really looking at the things I post. I then quickly realise that I'm now only doing this for myself (it wasn't like that when I first started this blog). This re-iterative process seems obvious but I do need this mental loop now and again as a reminder.

By the way, there's MAJOR good news at work, however I think it's too early to reveal details but WATCH THIS SPACE!!! 

As the world continues to opens up as COVID numbers and inflation figures climb, we're now on the home stretch in the year that just arrived moments ago. I'm glad that there's now global acceptance of "necessary deaths" when it comes to COVID and that we can move on as a civilisation. I'm also happy (unlike many) with high inflation as it means interest rates will rise (which benefits frugal and conservative investors like me who rely on bank deposits). I just hope the stock market performs better as recent crashes adversely impacted my superannuation fund (like many others in the country).

Also, now that I'm back on the normal 4/4 rotation (with pesky PCR tests requirements being history), I can start to plan for trips back to Singapore (I'll book the tickets the next time I see cheap flights that suit my schedule). I've been watching a lot of street food videos on Facebook and boy do I miss Singapore food. It's also high time I see my mum who is one of the two most important people in my life (no prizes for guessing who the other person is).

I've been gaming through almost all of my last break and now that "Elden Ring" (i.e. the most difficult and frustrating game for me to date) is completed, I think I'd be able to socialise more for my next one (the upcoming game I'll be indulging in will only be released in October). Gaming can be scary as it consumes me once I start and I even neglect my other passion of song-writing which is something I need to get back to.

Although I've not produced new completed compositions lately, I do have a lot of recorded pieces that I've not posted yet and I'll be sharing one of them today. This one titled "That's Why" is a fictional love story that writes of unrequited love as the protagonist stubbornly stays in the "friends zone" hoping that one day the love of his life will change his mind. I've written this to be a commercial piece and it can be fun doing that sometimes. I also recently discovered that there's another song using the same tune. Have a listen to mine and then his (link here) and then let me know who you think did it better.


[That's Why]

I don't want to be your friend
But I don't wanna be foolish and let this end
I just want you to hold my hand
Should I or should I not keep up the pretence

Please don't tell me you're not worthy
'Cos we both know it ain't true
Please stay the night
'Cos no one kisses like you do

Help
I am crashing deeper into this spiralling madness

I can't let this die
Even when my falling tears know it's time
To say goodbye
I'll never let go
I don't know why

Help
Someone save me from this never ending pain and darkness
Or let me savour this bittersweet and everlasting sadness

I'm tired but I'll die
Holding onto something
I know will never be mine
'Cos I love him
That is why

That is why I try
That's how I get by
That is why I cry
This is how I'll die